Saturday, 11 October 2008

Nothing perosnal

It's one of those days when nothing is going right and you wonder how it can get worse, while you're standing there wondering its already waiting for you at the footsteps of your own home. I saw her in The Pit I didn't allow anyone else to touch her, she was mine to abuse and I'll be damned by Legion for it. At least it would be me who harmed her, there she was strange as ever

Joah turns her gaze toward Blue, but the familiar smile isn't there. "We need to talk, Blue".

I shrug and give a flat reply, "Perhaps".

Yes we need to talk but I'm not going to mention anything on it, when you deal with me you're on a knife edge. One slip is all it takes.

She steps closer to me, unfolding her arms from her chest.

I finger the hilt of my dagger drawing it out, I look at Joah with something akin to sadness. A soft sigh of resignation, as my touch brushes over the dagger hilt.

She eyes the dagger. "Blue . . . " Joah frowns. "Is it true that you tried to use that on Grr? In the Library?"

I told her straight out, "Its not like I can feel bad about it, I got no guilt its nothing personal Joah".

"What do you mean . . . "nothing personal? When you draw a weapon on my lover, it becomes personal". Her eyes move from the blade to my own eyes. Her face is not angry, but rather full of concern.

I toss the blade in to the air and catch it. I'm just showing off for her, proving I'm capable with a blade well as my own words. "It will become personal for the whole group". I get closer to her.

I was getting uncomfortable with all the talk, I should have been done now and booted her down the steps. I kept hesitating I can do it, I turned on so many before this woman I can do it now.

Flame licks up in Joah's eyes as I step closer. "What do you mean, Blue"?

Off handedly I say, "Its just family business, you always knew it would come to this at some point".

At some point it would be personal for those who are in the same clan, its not personal to me its business. Or what I love to refer as work, and the devil be damned I enjoy my work.

"Speak plainly, Blue. I know you. What you are. What you were. And the woman . . . is not gone. No matter how hard you try to kill her off". Her words not mine, they sound familar.


Simply put, "Family comes first, I do as I have to. Joah I got no conscience, I can not feel bad or guilt over anything. Legion ate that part of my soul before I turned".

"That's not true, Blue. I saw you as a feline. I saw your spirit". Joah, Joah...

I looked at her then, I felt upset strange for me. "Sadness and loss are not the same as guilt, you can ask Legion yourself because I asked her to eat the part I did not want. I got rid of it because of what I had done".

I can't feel guilt its not even remotely possible, if I got my soul back I still wouldn't feel it. That part is missing its gone, when I was still a werewolf I made a bargain with Legion. I drew her out of Lorne I wanted to speak with the broken one, I offered her part of my soul so I could continue my path and not feel bad about it. Delrith tried to stop it he didn't want me to do it, I had but mere days ago broken every bone in his body. He loves me and it was that love that caused me guilt, Delrith was my first true lover in this city the first one I had after my own brother. And I loved the demon still so I offered myself to Legion, and Legion gave me a boon.

Joah steps closer to me. As she does so, a violet flame begins to shimmer around her.

I grip the hilt of my dagger, lost between two minds but I must obey. "... Joah".

Joah begins to pulse prana (I seen that before) toward me, a rush of warmth licks over my body. "You are my friend. This is not business. I know you. What you are. What you were. Perhaps what you may one day become".

I nod to her, "I'm quite capable of hurting friends, just ask Pix and Delrith". Looks at her, "Don't start predicting the future, I get enough of that from Rayden".

I was telling the truth they did used to be friends including Choi, look how that ended up twice I beaten on Pix. I ate half of Choi's liver after hurting her a bit with my family, then there was Delrith. Several ties were broken that way and I do get a kick out of making Pix upset, everytime I dropped words of our past she flinches. Rayden however was one I hadn't harmed yet, he knew things about the future so he had a use. The vampire was ever watchful of me, informing me that I had potential for something big yet never telling me what it was.... I sort of hate Seers.

Joah reaches up toward the dagger, and the violet flame licks up my arm. The feeling is warm and comfortable. A scent begins to surround the two of us, the aromas that make me mostly hunger for love. "You are more than friend, Blue. I don't understand why. Or how. You are family".

I'm gripping my dagger tighter my blue eyes flash with inner light, "You are not a Shadow, you can't be family".

My family are the Shadows and will always be the Shadows, I owe them so much and have devoted my life to them. This love that I feel is for them and deep down I want it to be given back to me, I thought I could cherish it forever when I got close to one. They turned away from me, I watch them with a broken heart that my sister is now slowly fixing with me. The sister that I married, in a glorious, demonic ritual.

The flames pulse and undulate around Joah and toward me in endless shades of violet with gradations of purple and pink. "Not Shadow family. Not Omegan family. You and I alone. Family".

I begin biting on my lips making blood well up, "What..."?

Joah's body begins to look almost transparent as the flames curl up from beneath her feet, passing through and around her body and over her head. "We are, Blue," Joah whispers. "Bonded to each other".

I shake my head rising my knife, "Joah for once don't talk in riddles".

More often than not I am inclined to listen to Joah's words whether they are riddles or not, I find like few of the Omegans I have spoken with that her words are heavy with meaning. Though I despied the red skin Pontifex for stealing from the Shadows, I did admire my conversations with him and his willingness to harm others. Oh silly red skin if only you knew it was myself, who told Shadows who had stolen from them in the first place.

Joah is aware of Aary and Bri, but keeps her eyes focused on me while I didn't notice anyone else around. She steps closer, attempting to lay a hand on my cheek. "Haven't you ever wondered, Blue, why we are friends? Why we watch each other's backs, even though we are light and dark? Why we dream the same dreams"?

I frown down at her shaking my head, "I don't know, I hardly know anything".

Everything around me wasn't there anymore, I was barely aware that someone mentioned fate and destiny. My whole focus and attention were set on the woman before me, I couldn't tell who said it. I don't know much and what I do know is the rumours and gossip of the city, I appear simple or even idiotic to those who wish to see just that. Pontifex, Joah and yes even Lorne know better.

"No. Not destiny". Joah reaches up to brush my hair back from my eyes. Her expression is tender, but she is aware of the dagger in my hand. "We are, Blue".

I sighed, "I only have my twin brother, and he is lost to me right now".

The flames around Joah lick up and over me, enveloping me in a shimmer of violet and purple. "We are, Blue. Family". Joah pulses prana toward me, not taking, but giving and opening her thoughts to me.

"Picket isn't going to be happy.....", I couldn't hold back the disappointment in that fact.

My sister has been unhappy of late with certain members of the Omegan Institute, I don't rightly understand it.

Joah Menjou smiles fondly at Blue, but a bit wistfully.

I grin slightly looking at her, "Drinking buddies is how we started dear".

Joah smiles again at me and nods.

The day I met Joah I was in the Haven and as always my guard was up, I hate people unless I'm connected to them somehow. For whatever reason us two began to drink together, I had gotten a fondness for vodka. As a demon I can't get drunk unless the amount is excessive, as a wolf I drank often to drown out my memories. I only drank when Kumori wasn't around and since she left that left me open to drink when I wanted, its a bad habit but one that got me through my harsh times with the Pack after I left them. If I had been a weak woman I would have died after going through that, instead it made me stronger more determined to live. In the end it made me darker. Here we were Joah and I sitting at a table drinking vodka, from that day on we often sought one another out. Strange how everything went from there.

I sheaths my dagger after relenting to not injuring the woman, I flick my tail behind me and Legion will be happy to know I didn't harm her.

Joah takes her hand from my cheek and lowers it to my hand. The flames begin to draw back into her, like waves lapping gently, they cascade from me, over her arms, drifting back into herself. "Perhaps I'd better head back to the Library," she says quietly.

Two days before we had sat talking about our dreams of the Horsemen, I demanded to see the Salamanders. Matter of fact I still want to see them.

I tilt my head watching Joah closely, I could feel my spikes and wings wanting to come out through my skin. I rarely show my true form I like to keep it hidden, to appear more normal out in the open unless I feel typically in a bad mood. Or lack the energy to keep the shape.

She kisses me lightly on the lips. "Be careful".

"... Joah...", I kiss her back, just to taste her like before in the library. On the day Emo-boy took her to the other realm, to try and rescue the brat who was trapped there. "I still don't know what you are".

Which is true I got no idea what Joah is, she appears to be human but is far from being human.

Joah smiles enigmatically at me. "You will".

"One day"? I asked.

Joah nods.

I smile ruefully.

She turns slowly, hugs me, and steps outside the door.

I sigh hugging her, I watched her go.

There she goes a puzzlement even to me, a human that isn't human and has avoided being on the end of my dagger. I turn my back on her to head in to The Pit, I sit in the largest throne as I do when Pieter or Kishi aren't around. I needed to think and the more I did so, the more confused I got.... Its still raining.

Joah's point of view

Lulz of the day:

[14:31] Rizal Rotaru: YES! *jumps on bri and humps her bread sticks and cheese* XD
[14:32] Blueray Darkes: Okay Bri now you got breadsticks and cheese covered in Rizzy's special sauce
[14:32] Brianna Willenov was gonna eat those D:
[14:32] Rizal Rotaru eats them "not anymore!"
[14:32] Blueray Darkes: .... Wow

2 comments:

GrrBrool said...

i'm loving the crazy!

getting both sides of the conversations, (or dreams) is terrific reading!

Blueray Darkes said...

Its what makes our RP unique