Resignations and Murders

The new year got ushered in quietly sad to say but I suppose that's the way of things sometimes, I think I was busy doing reports or something so I was knee deep in work. I got a few spare moments this morning to do my journal updates, I need to get down some thoughts that I can't express anywhere else.

Earlier this month I finally clashed with Xanith down in the subway, our fight was rather bitter and neither side won but he fled first. I would like to point this out again that Xanith fled first, our swords are a horrible thing to each other and to other Celestials. We both needed healing since we fucked each other up pretty bad, I couldn't fight for a week afterwards but I'm sure I'll fight him again some time.

Now for the important news I guess... A couple of weeks ago the Exalted managed to capture Alastor by springing a trap, its the only way I can imagine they got him as he's a formidable opponent. They wanted revenge for the murder of Shiloh, they pinned it on Alastor without any actual evidence. I remember the fight well enough trying to keep him, I was tackled by an angel who swung a hammer at me and I ultimately failed to save Alastor. They had also taken Oriax but he managed to escape at a later date, Kane hadn't organised the patrols yet so three of us went up there to get the stone man down. I heard him crying on our comm despite the order for radio silence. I remember before that silence too, Alastor spoke to me he said he expected great things of me. There's nothing like his words to put pressure on a woman to succeed.

We had a meeting during that week to figure out how to get our General back, people came up with good ideas even Leif did. We went with Leif's idea of talking to the new Legatus Priel, if that didn't work we had back up plans. Somewhere along the line Leif had Shiloh resurrected by Crio, said he would be a distraction for the Exalted if they didn't turn up with Alastor. Come the day of the trade the angels were all on edge, soon as Shiloh showed himself they went nuts started attacking all of us. In that midst of chaos the army worked well without much direction, Lizbeth and Bronson got Alastor away from the battle soon as he was bought to the scene. When he had him safe in the manse the order to fall back was issued, most of us made it away a few however had been waylaid by three lycans. Lycans of all fucking things I don't like them much as they're hard to fight being stronger than most other races, since we weren't allowed to leave anyone behind and I was the only one left after hammer boy flew off I dove in to help them. I think if it hadn't have been for Oriax who took Ashe to safety, some of us wouldn't have made it back to the manse even Lizbeth came back to find out why were slacking. Yeah she saw the lycans too and knew why I stayed, eventually the dogs called themselves off something about if the angels can't fight their own battles then they shouldn't have to either.

Re-grouping at the manse was a task but we managed it, Oriax bought Ashe straight to the yard and Zekkiel got to work on her mauled throat right away. All the vampire healers by now had been strained enough with the amount of injuries people suffered, I couldn't help but feel terrible for that the last battles went fine with barely a scratch on us all. I had gone wrong somewhere and my family laid battered and wounded around the manse lobby, as usual there's no time to linger on the emotions that come for there's work to do so I focus on that. Syrin says we should start patrols around the manse in case the lycans struck, Lizbeth and I agreed though I reckoned the lycans wouldn't attack the manse at all. Patrols were organised. Meanwhile Alastor was being healed up some by a fleshcrafter called Lin, Lin also gave me a new finger since that hammer angel crushed mine off during Alastor's capture. It was sickening and depressing to see the General in such a state the angels had put him in, but he was recovering and I could easily relate the suffering he was going through. After all that vacation at the lycan den wasn't all it was cracked up to be. He relied heavily on Leif I also think he looked for Shiloh among our numbers but he had flown off, Lizbeth gave Alastor an update and he comforted me somewhat before he left.

I only saw him once the following week, he had run off before I could ask about his health.

Friday rolls around again and Alastor had called for a council meeting, we attended as we should for we were all eager to strike against the Exalted in revenge for what was done to our General. I... Well not just me we all were worried about him when he was imprisoned, but we pulled together we managed to get through it. The news we wanted was never uttered instead he gave up his resignation, saying the mental damage that had been done is unable to  heal right now. Alastor informed us he would be taking over Asylum club and we can still talk to him, so he would still be around in Charm and we can all visit. Well he did own that club... The goodbyes were tearful from us all and Damon walked out early, I can't get my head around that guy I don't understand him. Before Alastor left I hugged him tight he returned it and said I would do great things, that's twice now he has mentioned that. Vasha said it too at one point on the day I first met her.

History has repeated itself with Alastor now having left his position we are leaderless, thus the Abadons have taken charge of the Nephilim until a new one is appointed. When I joined the faction Sasha or Kesasha had been torn apart by the Exalted leaving the three Abaddons in charge, one of them was a complete idiot telling us to all whore ourselves out. We lost members for his stupidity and he was eventually driven out. Annika became General after that I had worked in the Fury department under her and Samuel for some time now, I was extremely fond of them both and they were happy with my work. When Samuel left it was then that Alastor was introduced to us as her new second in command, I remember the constant fighting we had because we never saw eye to eye at the time. Not long after Annika left I suppose she missed Samuel that much she went to find him, though I wanted to break over it Alastor kept me and the faction working. I know everyone will be upset about his leaving but he's not disappeared like Annika did and he's not dead like Kesasha even though she came back, the family has to be kept moving forwards to make sure we show no weakness regardless of what we feel. Even I can not show what I feel or the other Abaddons for we need to be the example and all of us need to lead, letting everyone linger on the feeling of loss would only stagnate us and make us targets.

I believe not all agree with that way of thinking...

Alastor taught me that the family should always come first, your personal feelings don't factor in to the safety and health of the whole.

On this same day more terrible news arrived at our doorstep, Pusher the newest childe of Zekkiel had been murdered by a mage. Her loss will be felt by all of us who called that woman friend, Zekkiel's of course will be the hardest of us all for he turned her to stop her death once already. Voltaire, Syrin and myself went to hunt down this mage, we found him yesterday and captured him. It was harder than we thought it would be though we were cordinated well, the mage had a knack for escaping that seemed almost impossible. Eventually he was taken to the manse underground and caged, while we waited for Zekkiel to appear Sorrow shared with me a porn book and her penis obsession. Syrin and Voltaire had already began torture when the prince showed up, he looked terrible his emotions felt even worse. I have never felt coldness and emptiness from him before, I can only imagine the pain he's going through. Pusher lost her soul when she got turned, but even if she had it there would be no where for it go. There is no afterlife.

Pusher will be avenged!

Alastor will be avenged when we have a new general to lead us, and perhaps then I can return to being just a mere soldier. However I doubt that will happen I need to suceed, I need to not let him down or the Generals before him. And to not let the down the Generals who will come after him.

My Emperor I will not fail you again.

Merry Christmas

Its been a long time again since I got this journal out, while I'm sitting here at Asylum I might as well write something. I can never find the time anymore I'm always busy but this just means bigger updates, anyway its Christmas now here in Charm and its my first one. Only I'll be spending it alone I guess...

The storm that hit us last week plunged us in to darkness as it took out the electricity, food is running low there hasn't been any supply trucks to the city for a while now. To top it all off there are some sort of weird ghosts in the snow, it sings and stops your magic from working. One of them attacked me it left a burning handprint on my throat, Leif healed it its scarred but barely visible but its strange that it scarred like that. The thing had entered the manse it was looking for someone, I won't mention any names its all sacred vampire business. That's what is happening currently here in the city, I miss my family I don't know where they've gone. I miss Alastor too but Leif says he's staying warm at his house, they have a fireplace that must be nice and cosy.

Oh right if its dark how am I writing in the first place? Well for now the magic works so I made a fireball to see by, I'm at the bar with pen in hand and a bottle of vodka nearby. Lets get in to the what's been happening to me since my last entry.

Kalium fell after Zekkiel left as the Prince it took only two weeks, this was right after I won the Battle Royale of magic only. I beat a mage. However my prize had been rigged to unleash a potion that made everyone in to their true form, you bet none of us were pleased at being angels again in anyway. Alastor was the grumpiest of the lot of us at the feathers he had got, luckily it didn't last long and soon after the new Prince fled after he tore the faction apart. You can bet we got a lot of vampires joining us for a while, until the tattered remants of it were being pulled back together again. Then they all left. It has slowly been rebuilding ever since, I'm sure it will be full glory again once more.

Not too long ago just last month in fact I had the Exalted coming after me, demanding to know about my sword and telling me Shiloh wishes to speak with me. Two of them I sent packing both injured and had been waiting for the next wave of angels to come after me, it was as if the action had dried up and I got disappointed in the fact they stopped. In the meantime I suppose there is a traitorous Efreet to hunt down and kill, I will be extremely pleased when I finally achieve that goal.

Yeah... Spending Christmas alone today, Merry fucking Christmas.

Lulz of the day:

[13:00]  Blueray Darkes: Its hot chocolate
[13:01]  Blueray Darkes: Will there be marshmellows in it?
[13:01]  Dr. Zekkiel Zerundi: Come now.  This is the Kalium.  Of course there will be marshmallows.  We're not savages!

Too much work

I guess I finally got some time today to write in here, its been weeks I reckon since my last entry. As usual so much happens its hard to keep track of what is going on, for instance the biggest thing that happened was Annika left and Alastor is now in charge. Who gets to be shoved from the council to his second? I do! Like I didn't have enough to worry over or focus on, then he's there with his damn spade shoveling on more work.

Lately its all been work work work and I miss the old Alastor the one that would stop work for just a few minutes to indulge me, rather than just keep on working and being all serious face. A smile, a hug, a touch of comfort, something to let me know he's not as cold as he portrays. I suppose though he needs to be, now more than ever danger is present and we must try to keep that demeanour. I'm not so good at it being an emotional being and highly hot tempered, we had no threats before now not any serious ones anyhow. With this appearence of Shiloh the threat level went up and the angels are more active, we no longer have time to dally off and do what we like we have to focus. So I've been working, always working but getting drunk on the sly. Or getting drunk at the club when Alastor keeps filling my glass on request.

What is this about Leif? That fucking pansy ass is always trailing along behind him, according to the General he's the personal aide. He didn't need a personal aide he has an Abaddon two of them in fact, pick one and use them but don't bring in some shit head of an angel with no backbone. That's not the only change there are others, some I aint gonna mention because it would be silly to put it in; in case someone finds it. Never put it in the same place twice anyway! Bunch of vampires with us now ever since the change in Prince happened, you got no idea how overjoyed I am at having Zekkiel closer to hand. So much to repay him for, so few ways I can.

In the meantime I should stop getting drunk specially with Shiloh continously trying to get me in to his office, alone I might add and that's scary in itself but he says he wants to know me. Must avoid Shiloh at all costs, I don't want to forget myself or forget my family.

Lulz of the day:

[15:44]  Duncan O'Malley fucks off on his wings of glory, not really caring who is around to see.

Under pressure

I woke up too early this morning, but what do you expect when I can't really sleep?

The last week has been hectic to the point I've had so much pressure put upon me, I actually found a new breaking point for myself. I'm getting ahead of instead explaining what happened...

You see after I left Akiel that day when he took Minna away I did some more training, and got heckled by that prick of a demon Uri who is now dubbed Squiggles. The day after some of our allies showed up, I know I've been charged with training an army but our allies too is a bit much. Needless to say I got in to the swing of it inspecting them, Alastor was getting mad as Shinya was dropping maggots all over the lobby. I was leading them outside when some lycan idiot blew the fucking door out, then the lobby was full of lycans and dust and rubble and a blow up door. There was this huge battle, Oriax became a massive golem and made the bull come alive. Alastor captured Akiel, the rest of us captured any stragglers and that will teach you to attack demons on their home ground. MORONS!

I wonder where Annika is I haven't seen her since I made the golem blow up in temper at the lab, she kissed him I don't know why none of us know why. She's our general now she's meant to be around for these battles, but she's not been around I miss her. Sigh... Rules for the prisoners were established right off the bat, Alastor declared me his second and I wondered why that happened. I mean he's been putting a lot of pressure on me lately, master order to make chaos like I did for getting us to win our fight. Its not just that its now all this train the Furies, train the demons, make an army...

Tortured two of the lycans over the weekend one being Shae, the other being Jacqueline who unlike Shae really doesn't like pain all that much. In between these tortures I fed energy to Uri to get him to ward the Veritas building, so its no wonder with no rest and no food I became unhinged. This means I tend not to think straight either, insanity is never an excuse but I got it in bucket loads. Reeling from the fact I gotta stay home and not visit the manse, barely any sleep as I have to teach the training sessions and lack of food. I did something only the insane would do. Akiel has now been possessed by a demon called Aviel, in order to keep the vampires in the loop I took him to the dungeon. Course what did I expect when I show up with the alpha of the lycans? Oh man they drew weapons and were prepared to kill him on the spot, I showed him back out then went to see Zekkiel who was mad at me.

I broke then... I wonder if its all the extra work and everything else that made me break down and cry, or merely the fact I realised I screwed up so bad. Ugh there are times I really hate emotions and stress, this was one of them as I'm a demon I shouldn't be crying my eyes out. Zekkiel says I'm being overworked this has made me unwell, I explained to him everything that's going on and he like a lot of other people say. “Its alright Blueray you'll do an excellent job, you can do it.” If they all got together and broke out in to song, they could sing I believe I can fly or some other mushy shit they can think of.

I'm rather lost right now I don't know if I can do it all the time, one battle doesn't mean I'm cut out for this. I'm not allowed to fail I have to succeed in it all, I got no idea why I'm even in this position at all. Seriously I'm an insane monster who enjoys chaos whether by plan or by chance, here I am being forcibly tempered by a golem who loves order in every sense of the word. Do I have a big I'm fucking broken, please fix me sign on my forehead or something?

Anyway I left him a report, I'm merely awaiting his punishment now.

Lulz of the day:

[21:34]  Denenthorn Masukami: yeah that Lorne... such a cock.... oh wait oh my
[21:34]  Lorne Harlequin: hesays, as lorne appears in his cockless form
[21:34]  Pontifex Jenvieve: So...
[21:34]  Denenthorn Masukami: quoted

The long winded entry

I'm going to start with last weekend that Zekkiel returned home but still had a limp, he was mostly healed and everyone in the manse was happy to see him back. He came home at perfect timing it was also him who set up this baby shower, the shower was held on Sunday and I vow I have never seen so much pink. I hope I never see that much again, my fucking eyes burned. There was showering in baby blood that disappointed me, but I did manage to scare the shit out of the albino human. Cute as she is I couldn't help myself! Earlier in the week I had invited Alastor to the party in order for him to meet Zekkiel, I knew the prince would want to see the new second in command. As predicted though Alastor pissed him off, shouldn't be surprised the man pisses me off to no end. Clover tried blood bonding me to stop me from eating her baby, and Alastor had a run in with Elijah because the golem looks a lot like Adin... Maybe that's Oriax's fault...

Right after the baby shower there was a sacred ritual that I got invited to, I attended it in mask and robes among other Kalium members who had been invited also. I was the only outsider among them I really shouldn't call myself that, after I became the ambassador the vampires have been a second family to me. I should perhaps say honoured guest? The ritual was to sacrifice the mage known as Talaith for her crimes against Zekkiel and the Kalium, we shed our blood to spill upon the floor and all of us but one offered up forgiveness for her crimes. She blew up the prince she doesn't deserve forgiveness, besides that shit is for angels to do as demons don't forgive. Right before she died completely the walls and floors bled, and a dreadful prophecy fell upon our heads that the prince would kill his entire household and burn the manse down. I don't believe in such shit he was the one man keeping the manse and vampires going, anyone who believes the dieing words of a mage is a fool. Though I have become curious about their blood god and wish to learn more, its references like these along with the name Lydia that make me curious about this cursed race.

During the week I made a vow to Clover to not eat her child or family, I even got down on one knee and said my true name. Only Clover heard it as Yui was preoccupied with sexually tormenting Pusher, who did seem to like it a lot and I've become worried if the woman is woman at all or man trapped in a woman. Mostly because Pusher had a strap-on on... There was a meeting between demons and the lycans Akiel and Sayde in order to discuss war, Alastor has decided to base this war on our alliance with vampires and the fact Pack tortured me. According to Akiel the Pack alpha those who tortured me are no longer pack, the declaration of war is void and moot but needless to say the report loving golem pursued the war like a dog in heat. Once the two had left Oriax gave me my own pet rock to keep, he told me this one talked a lot and it will help me hear it a lot easier. Its a smooth obsidian stone, I called it Oliver as the name starts with an O as does the type of stone it is. Oliver now rests in my belt pouch near my hip at all times, except when I've shifted. Alastor makes Oliver scream at me... I was also told to babysit our new librarian called Nigel, if I could spit fire I would have done.

Walter finally manifested. In case you don't know Walter is a skull in the candy jar, on display in the manse's parlour, he has now gotten himself a ghostly body in order to float about the manse sucking up sanity like a Cthulu. When I met and spoke with him I could feel my sanity slipping away every minute, sanity is a precious thing to me yes I enjoy being in my madness but recently I've needed to stay sane. The release of the sane boundaries was a small blessing for me, I perhaps needed the break more than I let on in the first place. I've decided I only love Walter for his skull and madness, for there is little else he can offer except companionship. He's a ghost he can live with it!

There are some things that even I'm unwilling to write about. I will omit these for the benefit of myself mostly, I will say that I was ecstatic when Uri got hurt in the battle against the Abyssal demons. I'm even happier we injured several angels in the process of that battle, but they can't do shit about it as we were attacking the invaders too. Collateral damage birdies! Uri has a new tentacle form I have dubbed him Squiggles, I also now refuse to raise to his bait as I got more important things to do. I will also say that Narci came up to me to ask if I could sneak him in to the manse to look at teasets as he's looking to buy, he wanted to check their worth before even considering buying anything. I thought nothing of it and suggested if he wanted to see them that badly, then I can get him through the door in an honest fashion rather than a deceitful one. Anything to make sure our alliance stays strong, I'm just glad he didn't get us killed by Yui when he told her she has grey hairs!!! Along the same lines of that oddness, Lix asked me if I knew any Charm celebrities so she can get their autograph.

Shinya is a nosferatu from the manse it was an odd thing that he invited me to come break the mind of his childe Thursday, I was more than happy to aid him in this as Thursday's snivelling after the ritual pissed me off. As I was about to head off to Thursday's apartment Oriax appeared being spat out of the pavement, he looked worse for wear since I adore the imbued greatly I went to assist him. However he said he needed to eat me and my magic was torn from me like taking candy from a baby, also at the time Nigel was trying to leave Veritas without a bodyguard. I had enough to deal with so let him off the hook and took Oriax home wit the help of Lula, Nigel decided he was annoyed at being babysat and returned to the Veritas library. Oriax informed me he ate my magic as he needed to, I got little else out of him and made him go to sleep as he sank in to the ground he says “Don't let the lycans.” Don't let them what? Done with that I proceeded on my original course to the apartment and met up with Shinya, Vector and Rina. Thankfully my magic had returned some by the time we began breaking Thursday's mind, it took a long time and a lot of her screaming I was pretty much drained at the end of it. So you can understand when I passed the garage and Akiel decided I wasn't worth the attack, lycans are pretty odd if he had been a demon he would have attacked anyway. Akiel said he was going to poke things up my butt, I hope that never happens.

With a week of peace between us and lycans Alastor saw fit to ask me to start training everyone in Veritas, a heavy task I was unsure I would be able to accomplish but had to do anyhow. He also asked me to stay at Veritas more and to stop spending most of my time at the manse, he knows my job there is important but right now I got things to do. Task set I was committed to it... Zekkiel finally managed to leave the manse to come see our lab, he was awed by its magnificence and extremely pleased we had such an awesome lab. I made Lula our new hell-hound recruit stick around to meet Zekkiel, I'm trying to get her to overcome her bred in hate and its going to take some time. I might have to take her to the manse with me on occasion when I go for official business, I want to see how far I can push her before she shifts and goes rampaging. After the lab I took Zekkiel down to the dungeon as Alastor had made Oliver scream once again, I led my dear friend down to where we're keeping Shamus. Shamus is a lycan one of the LeBlancs and currently gracing our cells, because Alastor wanted a pet so he collared him. We arrived while the golem was torturing Shamus and found out it was him who gave the layout of the Pack den, hearing him scream so loudly got me pent up and that made me angry. Same thing happened at the ritual after the prince tore out Talaith's heart, only I didn't deal with it I took it out on Thursday by slamming her against a wall. Zekkiel saw I was getting angry as before I went off to go sleep he gave the finger he had been wearing, he thanked me for showing him around and said I shouldn't be angry. If he only knew my anger came from my frustrations perhaps he would understand, I got all serious, bowed and told him he was welcome it really was a pleasure to show him my home. I found a place to sleep but before that I had to relieve some pressure.

We almost caught the traitor Minna but she managed to be taken away, mostly because Akiel showed up and for some reason he seemed to be more powerful than usual. I really didn't want to tangle with him as one I didn't want demons injured, and two I didn't want me injured either as I had a training session to do. From what I could see of the alpha if I fought him today I would have been seriously injured, and possibly have something up my arse curtsey of a hell-hound. Alastor missed the training session even though he was meant to be a target, for some reason he never showed up for the entire day and that's odd as he loves his paperwork more than himself. Not many showed for the training either but I taught those who did turn up, it was rather successful and I'm really pleased with Kali's progress. I recruited a greyman it was then that the bloody golem showed up acting grumpier and weirder than normal, course this pissed me off specially when he tells me he'll buy me shirts that fit.. I like this shirt. The reaction I got out of him about what Uri did two months ago was a shocker, the entire ground re-acted to his anger that's something I've never seen before. Even though he was being entirely weird we agreed to do the Veritas warding and tactics talk tomorrow, it will probably be done after the day's training session.

So much to do...

Lulz of the day:

[18:36]  Blueray Darkes: Walter isn't gay though
[18:36]  Dr. Zekkiel Zerundi: I can talk to straight people.  Geez.
[18:36]  Dr. Zekkiel Zerundi: Wait a minute...
[18:36]  Dr. Zekkiel Zerundi: I'm arguing about the sexuality of a skull....with Blueray.

Giant flying fish monsters, bombs, losses and promotions

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Someone...Anyone

Its early morning I can tell because the manse is quiet, though I think I've been screaming again. Shit... I'm not supposed to be screaming at nightmares, I'm not supposed to have nightmares either. Fuck just fuck. I think I'm out of it really I do that pain I went through, yeah most demons would take it in their stride I guess. I'm an emotion addict and I eat sin, emotions run rampant that much I

 know.

Annika and Samual mean well but they are emotionless so don't understand things on the same plain I do, I honestly can't handle human emotion all that well. No one is around for me to talk to right now, I slide off the couch to say good morning to the skull Walter. He just sits there grinning he's no help either useless bastard! Walking is a bit tough still as my healed body is stiff, I aint surprised its stiff I had to have skin regrown, bones fixed, talons regrown. That shit aint easy to do not even for Zekkiel.

Sore all over too... Ugh and these nightmares really? I'm just re-living it all like I'm some sort of screwed up human, I need to talk to someone, anyone I want to be understood. I want help to understand these... feelings. I'm not scared don't be silly. Pain all I feel is pain not as bad as before, but spikes of it still stab through the human host I inhabit. My wings still need fixing that will have to be done soon, I can't fly right now not that I'm going anywhere soon. Too weak to really move far without having a date with the floor, the floor seems to be happy about this. Sadly the floor isn't huggable...

After I've made this sandwich and eaten it I'm going back to the couch, might as well pass out again and hope no one sits on me. I hate being alone though I've been alone for centuries, I should make amends with Edeline or something. I know how she feels to be alone all the time, its not fair on her that I picked on her but she made it so easy. I think I will get a pie dish when I wake up again.

Clover is due soon...

Lulz of the day:

[13:30]  Yui Senjouhara: That kiss was so good, we gave him a ghost a boner.