This is Hell this lonliness this lack of connection with others and always finding myself alone, if it wasn't for the fact I'm on the surface I would have sworn I was back in that cell I spent centuries locked away in. Yet the morning always comes to remind me there is light in my darkness, but I feel like my insanity is getting worse always being alone. To know you're insane is to know there are cracks in your mind, cracks that even with your anchors get worse and worse the more there is factors that make them break open. Sometimes it feels like claws digging in to my brain I can hear it scratching, trying to get out to be free to make me the monster I truly am.
I must uphold our values even when away from my Nephilim, protect the humans make them see that angels are the bad guys not us. When you got people like me in their ranks, leading them its hard not to think of yourself as a hypercrit, I eat people because I love the taste of their flesh and I hurt people because I love the sound of their screams. Ugh... Go away! Stop it! I won't let you out! Not today, not while I hold my sword close to me, please stop I don't want to be mad anymore.
I don't want to be insane.
For all I know I could be mad right now but I have my sword with me, my precious blade that never leaves my side.
Not long ago I got a letter from the one who is my leader, the one who made me a General of her army in Charm. It said that Charm has been neutrilised of the Angel threat and we all needed to move on, this was sent to me during my first month of absence she must have known I had gone already for the letter found me. For now the army I led has disbanded and scattered until she sends word to gather again, in my moments of being lucid I wonder how they are all doing all scattered around the lands now. No purpose, no goal, no unity and perhaps they are currently like me alone, wandering, lost. Every day is the same its empty and I haven't even found Matias again, not that it matters now since the pain of his loss has dulled. I can move on. Time has ticked on its been two years since that letter, this hole inside of me is gnawing away at my soul.
Fuck!
Fuck emotions!
Days like this I wonder why I even wanted them in the first place, they're horrible making me feel terrible. There are good emotions too the ones that make you happy, love, have joy, excitement, emotions make our existance stop being a blank void of nothing. When I sit to think about it I know deep down Morning Star was right that we should have these, that we as the first children had a right to feel how humans felt. Sometimes we can't cope with these emotions, each one we've not felt before is new. I know for a fact that when I find a new one it takes me ages to comprehend and adjust to it, there is no coping so in your own confusion of the feeling you tend to lash out. Or as humans say act like a child.
I just don't want to be alone any longer. Maybe I should find work to keep me busy, I like being busy for leading kept me busy. My people kept me busy and I enjoyed commanding them or hanging out with them, always mingling with the lower ranks learning how they tick. Yes I need work... Something... Anything...
This is Hell on Earth, I can't stand it any longer.
Please...
Let me burn the world.
Showing posts with label Charm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Charm. Show all posts
Friday, 3 October 2014
Monday, 24 June 2013
The search for Matias
Its been some weeks now since I told Matias the truth about his sister, I've waited patiently for him to return but there's been no sign of him. None of this would have happened if not for that night, none of this would have happened if I had stayed detached as I should have. Yet here I am I swear I've put a track in the carpet from my pacing, he hasn't come home and deep down I knew this would be the case. I need him to come home, I need him here. Not just for my own sake but for the sake of the family, the family I've helped to grow, become strong and ultimately lead.
Its not just Matias who has left for three of my dearest friends have also gone, Zekkiel, Yui and Syrin, they upped and went without so much as a goodbye leaving me reeling. I know they can look after themselves I don't need to search for them and I hope to meet them again one day. Syrin's absence had left the vampires without a forge worker, so Bronson offered his services as is his right along with Raven's assistance. Gone are the days of flirting with the Prince, or drinking with him and the other two, in some cases though I'm used to being alone but with all of these absences I haven't felt more desolate inside myself.
So I'm going to leave Charm just pack up some things and go, have my seconds take over for me while I'm absent. Pretty much the entire city has emptied out even the angels are gone, we're left with nothing to do but twiddle idle thumbs and walk on restless feet. I have no idea where to start looking for Matias, he's a human perhaps trying in human dominated areas might get me somewhere. However I'll have to be careful not to reveal myself for one slip means I loose my host, thank fuck for a host the one defence I got to prevent me going to the Abyss. Host hopping is easy enough if I loose it, if I keep dropping them before my hair goes blue I won't be found. Hopefully. That's the theory anyway.
First stop Portch.
Its not just Matias who has left for three of my dearest friends have also gone, Zekkiel, Yui and Syrin, they upped and went without so much as a goodbye leaving me reeling. I know they can look after themselves I don't need to search for them and I hope to meet them again one day. Syrin's absence had left the vampires without a forge worker, so Bronson offered his services as is his right along with Raven's assistance. Gone are the days of flirting with the Prince, or drinking with him and the other two, in some cases though I'm used to being alone but with all of these absences I haven't felt more desolate inside myself.
So I'm going to leave Charm just pack up some things and go, have my seconds take over for me while I'm absent. Pretty much the entire city has emptied out even the angels are gone, we're left with nothing to do but twiddle idle thumbs and walk on restless feet. I have no idea where to start looking for Matias, he's a human perhaps trying in human dominated areas might get me somewhere. However I'll have to be careful not to reveal myself for one slip means I loose my host, thank fuck for a host the one defence I got to prevent me going to the Abyss. Host hopping is easy enough if I loose it, if I keep dropping them before my hair goes blue I won't be found. Hopefully. That's the theory anyway.
First stop Portch.
Tuesday, 9 April 2013
Wednesday, 3 April 2013
I am...
How long has it been since my last journal entry?
I don't even recall the last time but I know it was some time ago, it was after Alastor had been given back to us in a sorry state and then he stepped down. The three Abaddons were leading afterwards I was one of them, in the past this happened before until a new General was chosen.
Yes I haven't written in this thing because I became the new General, I've been far too busy with leading the war Shiloh started or going to meetings. I've tried to keep a hands on approach with the faction, that every member new and old I speak with personally. I hang out with the family when I can, I don't want to lose that connection I have them and just become another leader who is rarely seen. I want to know my people all those individuals who can work together, each of them is a cog that moves and I am the oil.
There is one thing that saddens me not just because I failed the last General in some way, but because I know others will be pissed at me for that failure. You see I had captured Priel and when you're newly put in a position with a bajillion things to think of, you end up making a cock up that costs you something most dear. No sooner had I become a leader that several things happened at once, for instance Oriax had become violent, cold, unpredictable and this understandably caused unrest and unease among the Nephs who knew him. Nesta had also gone rampaging through Charm, Ashe was constantly getting in to trouble in form or another. So when I found Priel I thought nothing of it of sending him to the hospital for healing, before I then had him taken to the Mirror room which is now my dungeon.
If my mind had been focusing instead of worrying over things I would have known Shiloh would disapprove, he begged me to the free man with no further mental trauma than what he had already. I did at the time tell Shiloh that couldn't be guaranteed but I would free him, I told him that the Mirror Room helps convert people to our side. Yes he was upset about me taking people's free will away, honestly its their choice to see the truth or not. Time passed not much time but enough that when I went to see Shiloh to get the mind of Nesta fixed, he struck me while spitting insults for he was upset about the fact Priel loved the Morning Star. I lost him that day... The one thing I had to maintain was his compliance and keep him convinced we were better than the Exalted, if we could keep him then Gin would surely follow for the two were inseperable right now. I had failed all because of Priel that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't hate right now, for he is my brother and perhaps there are other crafters like us made out of what we crafted the best we are connected to. Priel was always the favourite, for I rarely saw him at all.
Lets see if I was to sum up the events there's a lot that has happened, my people have been attacked for just entering the Scarlot Harlot, Oriax has been fixed twice, I have lost two members of my family to the other side but in return I have gained six new ones. The war is heating up occasionally it stagnates in to a stale mate, but since I want to keep the Exalted on the defensive I will have them keep being attacked. I had hoped actually that Gin would have come around and stayed with us, not only because he's useful but because he grows on you... None of us can hurt Pink Frosting anyway I made a deal that none of us would...
On top of all this afterward Seralath is becoming a real thorn in my side, first he takes my sword away then forces me to answer all his stupid questions.
I know for a fact I'm not alone in my leadership I got some great second in commands, I have a brilliant council. And under them I have the best family anyone can wish for, there is just one underlaying problem. I'm worried I'm not a good leader despite being taught by Alastor, I'm worried about not being able to meet their expectations, and I'm constantly afraid of driving them away. Maybe I'm not doing enough and perhaps I am failing my family, I just wish I knew I was doing the right thing.
Lulz of the day:
[19:16] Bronson: interviewer: as general of the Nephilim, what do you do in your spare time?... Blue: well i am always busy.. so i dont have any spare time... "Bronson:she dances on rooftops *interviewer looks at Blue.. Blue looks at Bronson.. Bronson get handed to Exalted as a sacrificial peace treaty*
I don't even recall the last time but I know it was some time ago, it was after Alastor had been given back to us in a sorry state and then he stepped down. The three Abaddons were leading afterwards I was one of them, in the past this happened before until a new General was chosen.
Yes I haven't written in this thing because I became the new General, I've been far too busy with leading the war Shiloh started or going to meetings. I've tried to keep a hands on approach with the faction, that every member new and old I speak with personally. I hang out with the family when I can, I don't want to lose that connection I have them and just become another leader who is rarely seen. I want to know my people all those individuals who can work together, each of them is a cog that moves and I am the oil.
There is one thing that saddens me not just because I failed the last General in some way, but because I know others will be pissed at me for that failure. You see I had captured Priel and when you're newly put in a position with a bajillion things to think of, you end up making a cock up that costs you something most dear. No sooner had I become a leader that several things happened at once, for instance Oriax had become violent, cold, unpredictable and this understandably caused unrest and unease among the Nephs who knew him. Nesta had also gone rampaging through Charm, Ashe was constantly getting in to trouble in form or another. So when I found Priel I thought nothing of it of sending him to the hospital for healing, before I then had him taken to the Mirror room which is now my dungeon.
If my mind had been focusing instead of worrying over things I would have known Shiloh would disapprove, he begged me to the free man with no further mental trauma than what he had already. I did at the time tell Shiloh that couldn't be guaranteed but I would free him, I told him that the Mirror Room helps convert people to our side. Yes he was upset about me taking people's free will away, honestly its their choice to see the truth or not. Time passed not much time but enough that when I went to see Shiloh to get the mind of Nesta fixed, he struck me while spitting insults for he was upset about the fact Priel loved the Morning Star. I lost him that day... The one thing I had to maintain was his compliance and keep him convinced we were better than the Exalted, if we could keep him then Gin would surely follow for the two were inseperable right now. I had failed all because of Priel that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't hate right now, for he is my brother and perhaps there are other crafters like us made out of what we crafted the best we are connected to. Priel was always the favourite, for I rarely saw him at all.
Lets see if I was to sum up the events there's a lot that has happened, my people have been attacked for just entering the Scarlot Harlot, Oriax has been fixed twice, I have lost two members of my family to the other side but in return I have gained six new ones. The war is heating up occasionally it stagnates in to a stale mate, but since I want to keep the Exalted on the defensive I will have them keep being attacked. I had hoped actually that Gin would have come around and stayed with us, not only because he's useful but because he grows on you... None of us can hurt Pink Frosting anyway I made a deal that none of us would...
On top of all this afterward Seralath is becoming a real thorn in my side, first he takes my sword away then forces me to answer all his stupid questions.
I know for a fact I'm not alone in my leadership I got some great second in commands, I have a brilliant council. And under them I have the best family anyone can wish for, there is just one underlaying problem. I'm worried I'm not a good leader despite being taught by Alastor, I'm worried about not being able to meet their expectations, and I'm constantly afraid of driving them away. Maybe I'm not doing enough and perhaps I am failing my family, I just wish I knew I was doing the right thing.
Lulz of the day:
[19:16] Bronson: interviewer: as general of the Nephilim, what do you do in your spare time?... Blue: well i am always busy.. so i dont have any spare time... "Bronson:she dances on rooftops *interviewer looks at Blue.. Blue looks at Bronson.. Bronson get handed to Exalted as a sacrificial peace treaty*
Sunday, 27 January 2013
Resignations and Murders
The new year got ushered in quietly sad to say but I suppose that's the way of things sometimes, I think I was busy doing reports or something so I was knee deep in work. I got a few spare moments this morning to do my journal updates, I need to get down some thoughts that I can't express anywhere else.
Earlier this month I finally clashed with Xanith down in the subway, our fight was rather bitter and neither side won but he fled first. I would like to point this out again that Xanith fled first, our swords are a horrible thing to each other and to other Celestials. We both needed healing since we fucked each other up pretty bad, I couldn't fight for a week afterwards but I'm sure I'll fight him again some time.
Now for the important news I guess... A couple of weeks ago the Exalted managed to capture Alastor by springing a trap, its the only way I can imagine they got him as he's a formidable opponent. They wanted revenge for the murder of Shiloh, they pinned it on Alastor without any actual evidence. I remember the fight well enough trying to keep him, I was tackled by an angel who swung a hammer at me and I ultimately failed to save Alastor. They had also taken Oriax but he managed to escape at a later date, Kane hadn't organised the patrols yet so three of us went up there to get the stone man down. I heard him crying on our comm despite the order for radio silence. I remember before that silence too, Alastor spoke to me he said he expected great things of me. There's nothing like his words to put pressure on a woman to succeed.
We had a meeting during that week to figure out how to get our General back, people came up with good ideas even Leif did. We went with Leif's idea of talking to the new Legatus Priel, if that didn't work we had back up plans. Somewhere along the line Leif had Shiloh resurrected by Crio, said he would be a distraction for the Exalted if they didn't turn up with Alastor. Come the day of the trade the angels were all on edge, soon as Shiloh showed himself they went nuts started attacking all of us. In that midst of chaos the army worked well without much direction, Lizbeth and Bronson got Alastor away from the battle soon as he was bought to the scene. When he had him safe in the manse the order to fall back was issued, most of us made it away a few however had been waylaid by three lycans. Lycans of all fucking things I don't like them much as they're hard to fight being stronger than most other races, since we weren't allowed to leave anyone behind and I was the only one left after hammer boy flew off I dove in to help them. I think if it hadn't have been for Oriax who took Ashe to safety, some of us wouldn't have made it back to the manse even Lizbeth came back to find out why were slacking. Yeah she saw the lycans too and knew why I stayed, eventually the dogs called themselves off something about if the angels can't fight their own battles then they shouldn't have to either.
Re-grouping at the manse was a task but we managed it, Oriax bought Ashe straight to the yard and Zekkiel got to work on her mauled throat right away. All the vampire healers by now had been strained enough with the amount of injuries people suffered, I couldn't help but feel terrible for that the last battles went fine with barely a scratch on us all. I had gone wrong somewhere and my family laid battered and wounded around the manse lobby, as usual there's no time to linger on the emotions that come for there's work to do so I focus on that. Syrin says we should start patrols around the manse in case the lycans struck, Lizbeth and I agreed though I reckoned the lycans wouldn't attack the manse at all. Patrols were organised. Meanwhile Alastor was being healed up some by a fleshcrafter called Lin, Lin also gave me a new finger since that hammer angel crushed mine off during Alastor's capture. It was sickening and depressing to see the General in such a state the angels had put him in, but he was recovering and I could easily relate the suffering he was going through. After all that vacation at the lycan den wasn't all it was cracked up to be. He relied heavily on Leif I also think he looked for Shiloh among our numbers but he had flown off, Lizbeth gave Alastor an update and he comforted me somewhat before he left.
I only saw him once the following week, he had run off before I could ask about his health.
Friday rolls around again and Alastor had called for a council meeting, we attended as we should for we were all eager to strike against the Exalted in revenge for what was done to our General. I... Well not just me we all were worried about him when he was imprisoned, but we pulled together we managed to get through it. The news we wanted was never uttered instead he gave up his resignation, saying the mental damage that had been done is unable to heal right now. Alastor informed us he would be taking over Asylum club and we can still talk to him, so he would still be around in Charm and we can all visit. Well he did own that club... The goodbyes were tearful from us all and Damon walked out early, I can't get my head around that guy I don't understand him. Before Alastor left I hugged him tight he returned it and said I would do great things, that's twice now he has mentioned that. Vasha said it too at one point on the day I first met her.
History has repeated itself with Alastor now having left his position we are leaderless, thus the Abadons have taken charge of the Nephilim until a new one is appointed. When I joined the faction Sasha or Kesasha had been torn apart by the Exalted leaving the three Abaddons in charge, one of them was a complete idiot telling us to all whore ourselves out. We lost members for his stupidity and he was eventually driven out. Annika became General after that I had worked in the Fury department under her and Samuel for some time now, I was extremely fond of them both and they were happy with my work. When Samuel left it was then that Alastor was introduced to us as her new second in command, I remember the constant fighting we had because we never saw eye to eye at the time. Not long after Annika left I suppose she missed Samuel that much she went to find him, though I wanted to break over it Alastor kept me and the faction working. I know everyone will be upset about his leaving but he's not disappeared like Annika did and he's not dead like Kesasha even though she came back, the family has to be kept moving forwards to make sure we show no weakness regardless of what we feel. Even I can not show what I feel or the other Abaddons for we need to be the example and all of us need to lead, letting everyone linger on the feeling of loss would only stagnate us and make us targets.
I believe not all agree with that way of thinking...
Alastor taught me that the family should always come first, your personal feelings don't factor in to the safety and health of the whole.
On this same day more terrible news arrived at our doorstep, Pusher the newest childe of Zekkiel had been murdered by a mage. Her loss will be felt by all of us who called that woman friend, Zekkiel's of course will be the hardest of us all for he turned her to stop her death once already. Voltaire, Syrin and myself went to hunt down this mage, we found him yesterday and captured him. It was harder than we thought it would be though we were cordinated well, the mage had a knack for escaping that seemed almost impossible. Eventually he was taken to the manse underground and caged, while we waited for Zekkiel to appear Sorrow shared with me a porn book and her penis obsession. Syrin and Voltaire had already began torture when the prince showed up, he looked terrible his emotions felt even worse. I have never felt coldness and emptiness from him before, I can only imagine the pain he's going through. Pusher lost her soul when she got turned, but even if she had it there would be no where for it go. There is no afterlife.
Pusher will be avenged!
Alastor will be avenged when we have a new general to lead us, and perhaps then I can return to being just a mere soldier. However I doubt that will happen I need to suceed, I need to not let him down or the Generals before him. And to not let the down the Generals who will come after him.
My Emperor I will not fail you again.
Earlier this month I finally clashed with Xanith down in the subway, our fight was rather bitter and neither side won but he fled first. I would like to point this out again that Xanith fled first, our swords are a horrible thing to each other and to other Celestials. We both needed healing since we fucked each other up pretty bad, I couldn't fight for a week afterwards but I'm sure I'll fight him again some time.
Now for the important news I guess... A couple of weeks ago the Exalted managed to capture Alastor by springing a trap, its the only way I can imagine they got him as he's a formidable opponent. They wanted revenge for the murder of Shiloh, they pinned it on Alastor without any actual evidence. I remember the fight well enough trying to keep him, I was tackled by an angel who swung a hammer at me and I ultimately failed to save Alastor. They had also taken Oriax but he managed to escape at a later date, Kane hadn't organised the patrols yet so three of us went up there to get the stone man down. I heard him crying on our comm despite the order for radio silence. I remember before that silence too, Alastor spoke to me he said he expected great things of me. There's nothing like his words to put pressure on a woman to succeed.
We had a meeting during that week to figure out how to get our General back, people came up with good ideas even Leif did. We went with Leif's idea of talking to the new Legatus Priel, if that didn't work we had back up plans. Somewhere along the line Leif had Shiloh resurrected by Crio, said he would be a distraction for the Exalted if they didn't turn up with Alastor. Come the day of the trade the angels were all on edge, soon as Shiloh showed himself they went nuts started attacking all of us. In that midst of chaos the army worked well without much direction, Lizbeth and Bronson got Alastor away from the battle soon as he was bought to the scene. When he had him safe in the manse the order to fall back was issued, most of us made it away a few however had been waylaid by three lycans. Lycans of all fucking things I don't like them much as they're hard to fight being stronger than most other races, since we weren't allowed to leave anyone behind and I was the only one left after hammer boy flew off I dove in to help them. I think if it hadn't have been for Oriax who took Ashe to safety, some of us wouldn't have made it back to the manse even Lizbeth came back to find out why were slacking. Yeah she saw the lycans too and knew why I stayed, eventually the dogs called themselves off something about if the angels can't fight their own battles then they shouldn't have to either.
Re-grouping at the manse was a task but we managed it, Oriax bought Ashe straight to the yard and Zekkiel got to work on her mauled throat right away. All the vampire healers by now had been strained enough with the amount of injuries people suffered, I couldn't help but feel terrible for that the last battles went fine with barely a scratch on us all. I had gone wrong somewhere and my family laid battered and wounded around the manse lobby, as usual there's no time to linger on the emotions that come for there's work to do so I focus on that. Syrin says we should start patrols around the manse in case the lycans struck, Lizbeth and I agreed though I reckoned the lycans wouldn't attack the manse at all. Patrols were organised. Meanwhile Alastor was being healed up some by a fleshcrafter called Lin, Lin also gave me a new finger since that hammer angel crushed mine off during Alastor's capture. It was sickening and depressing to see the General in such a state the angels had put him in, but he was recovering and I could easily relate the suffering he was going through. After all that vacation at the lycan den wasn't all it was cracked up to be. He relied heavily on Leif I also think he looked for Shiloh among our numbers but he had flown off, Lizbeth gave Alastor an update and he comforted me somewhat before he left.
I only saw him once the following week, he had run off before I could ask about his health.
Friday rolls around again and Alastor had called for a council meeting, we attended as we should for we were all eager to strike against the Exalted in revenge for what was done to our General. I... Well not just me we all were worried about him when he was imprisoned, but we pulled together we managed to get through it. The news we wanted was never uttered instead he gave up his resignation, saying the mental damage that had been done is unable to heal right now. Alastor informed us he would be taking over Asylum club and we can still talk to him, so he would still be around in Charm and we can all visit. Well he did own that club... The goodbyes were tearful from us all and Damon walked out early, I can't get my head around that guy I don't understand him. Before Alastor left I hugged him tight he returned it and said I would do great things, that's twice now he has mentioned that. Vasha said it too at one point on the day I first met her.
History has repeated itself with Alastor now having left his position we are leaderless, thus the Abadons have taken charge of the Nephilim until a new one is appointed. When I joined the faction Sasha or Kesasha had been torn apart by the Exalted leaving the three Abaddons in charge, one of them was a complete idiot telling us to all whore ourselves out. We lost members for his stupidity and he was eventually driven out. Annika became General after that I had worked in the Fury department under her and Samuel for some time now, I was extremely fond of them both and they were happy with my work. When Samuel left it was then that Alastor was introduced to us as her new second in command, I remember the constant fighting we had because we never saw eye to eye at the time. Not long after Annika left I suppose she missed Samuel that much she went to find him, though I wanted to break over it Alastor kept me and the faction working. I know everyone will be upset about his leaving but he's not disappeared like Annika did and he's not dead like Kesasha even though she came back, the family has to be kept moving forwards to make sure we show no weakness regardless of what we feel. Even I can not show what I feel or the other Abaddons for we need to be the example and all of us need to lead, letting everyone linger on the feeling of loss would only stagnate us and make us targets.
I believe not all agree with that way of thinking...
Alastor taught me that the family should always come first, your personal feelings don't factor in to the safety and health of the whole.
On this same day more terrible news arrived at our doorstep, Pusher the newest childe of Zekkiel had been murdered by a mage. Her loss will be felt by all of us who called that woman friend, Zekkiel's of course will be the hardest of us all for he turned her to stop her death once already. Voltaire, Syrin and myself went to hunt down this mage, we found him yesterday and captured him. It was harder than we thought it would be though we were cordinated well, the mage had a knack for escaping that seemed almost impossible. Eventually he was taken to the manse underground and caged, while we waited for Zekkiel to appear Sorrow shared with me a porn book and her penis obsession. Syrin and Voltaire had already began torture when the prince showed up, he looked terrible his emotions felt even worse. I have never felt coldness and emptiness from him before, I can only imagine the pain he's going through. Pusher lost her soul when she got turned, but even if she had it there would be no where for it go. There is no afterlife.
Pusher will be avenged!
Alastor will be avenged when we have a new general to lead us, and perhaps then I can return to being just a mere soldier. However I doubt that will happen I need to suceed, I need to not let him down or the Generals before him. And to not let the down the Generals who will come after him.
My Emperor I will not fail you again.
Tuesday, 25 December 2012
Merry Christmas
Its been a long time again since I got this journal out, while I'm sitting here at Asylum I might as well write something. I can never find the time anymore I'm always busy but this just means bigger updates, anyway its Christmas now here in Charm and its my first one. Only I'll be spending it alone I guess...
The storm that hit us last week plunged us in to darkness as it took out the electricity, food is running low there hasn't been any supply trucks to the city for a while now. To top it all off there are some sort of weird ghosts in the snow, it sings and stops your magic from working. One of them attacked me it left a burning handprint on my throat, Leif healed it its scarred but barely visible but its strange that it scarred like that. The thing had entered the manse it was looking for someone, I won't mention any names its all sacred vampire business. That's what is happening currently here in the city, I miss my family I don't know where they've gone. I miss Alastor too but Leif says he's staying warm at his house, they have a fireplace that must be nice and cosy.
Oh right if its dark how am I writing in the first place? Well for now the magic works so I made a fireball to see by, I'm at the bar with pen in hand and a bottle of vodka nearby. Lets get in to the what's been happening to me since my last entry.
Kalium fell after Zekkiel left as the Prince it took only two weeks, this was right after I won the Battle Royale of magic only. I beat a mage. However my prize had been rigged to unleash a potion that made everyone in to their true form, you bet none of us were pleased at being angels again in anyway. Alastor was the grumpiest of the lot of us at the feathers he had got, luckily it didn't last long and soon after the new Prince fled after he tore the faction apart. You can bet we got a lot of vampires joining us for a while, until the tattered remants of it were being pulled back together again. Then they all left. It has slowly been rebuilding ever since, I'm sure it will be full glory again once more.
Not too long ago just last month in fact I had the Exalted coming after me, demanding to know about my sword and telling me Shiloh wishes to speak with me. Two of them I sent packing both injured and had been waiting for the next wave of angels to come after me, it was as if the action had dried up and I got disappointed in the fact they stopped. In the meantime I suppose there is a traitorous Efreet to hunt down and kill, I will be extremely pleased when I finally achieve that goal.
Yeah... Spending Christmas alone today, Merry fucking Christmas.
Lulz of the day:
[13:00] Blueray Darkes: Its hot chocolate
[13:01] Blueray Darkes: Will there be marshmellows in it?
[13:01] Dr. Zekkiel Zerundi: Come now. This is the Kalium. Of course there will be marshmallows. We're not savages!
The storm that hit us last week plunged us in to darkness as it took out the electricity, food is running low there hasn't been any supply trucks to the city for a while now. To top it all off there are some sort of weird ghosts in the snow, it sings and stops your magic from working. One of them attacked me it left a burning handprint on my throat, Leif healed it its scarred but barely visible but its strange that it scarred like that. The thing had entered the manse it was looking for someone, I won't mention any names its all sacred vampire business. That's what is happening currently here in the city, I miss my family I don't know where they've gone. I miss Alastor too but Leif says he's staying warm at his house, they have a fireplace that must be nice and cosy.
Oh right if its dark how am I writing in the first place? Well for now the magic works so I made a fireball to see by, I'm at the bar with pen in hand and a bottle of vodka nearby. Lets get in to the what's been happening to me since my last entry.
Kalium fell after Zekkiel left as the Prince it took only two weeks, this was right after I won the Battle Royale of magic only. I beat a mage. However my prize had been rigged to unleash a potion that made everyone in to their true form, you bet none of us were pleased at being angels again in anyway. Alastor was the grumpiest of the lot of us at the feathers he had got, luckily it didn't last long and soon after the new Prince fled after he tore the faction apart. You can bet we got a lot of vampires joining us for a while, until the tattered remants of it were being pulled back together again. Then they all left. It has slowly been rebuilding ever since, I'm sure it will be full glory again once more.
Not too long ago just last month in fact I had the Exalted coming after me, demanding to know about my sword and telling me Shiloh wishes to speak with me. Two of them I sent packing both injured and had been waiting for the next wave of angels to come after me, it was as if the action had dried up and I got disappointed in the fact they stopped. In the meantime I suppose there is a traitorous Efreet to hunt down and kill, I will be extremely pleased when I finally achieve that goal.
Yeah... Spending Christmas alone today, Merry fucking Christmas.
Lulz of the day:
[13:00] Blueray Darkes: Its hot chocolate
[13:01] Blueray Darkes: Will there be marshmellows in it?
[13:01] Dr. Zekkiel Zerundi: Come now. This is the Kalium. Of course there will be marshmallows. We're not savages!
Friday, 2 November 2012
Too much work
I guess I finally got some time today to write in here, its been weeks I reckon since my last entry. As usual so much happens its hard to keep track of what is going on, for instance the biggest thing that happened was Annika left and Alastor is now in charge. Who gets to be shoved from the council to his second? I do! Like I didn't have enough to worry over or focus on, then he's there with his damn spade shoveling on more work.
Lately its all been work work work and I miss the old Alastor the one that would stop work for just a few minutes to indulge me, rather than just keep on working and being all serious face. A smile, a hug, a touch of comfort, something to let me know he's not as cold as he portrays. I suppose though he needs to be, now more than ever danger is present and we must try to keep that demeanour. I'm not so good at it being an emotional being and highly hot tempered, we had no threats before now not any serious ones anyhow. With this appearence of Shiloh the threat level went up and the angels are more active, we no longer have time to dally off and do what we like we have to focus. So I've been working, always working but getting drunk on the sly. Or getting drunk at the club when Alastor keeps filling my glass on request.
What is this about Leif? That fucking pansy ass is always trailing along behind him, according to the General he's the personal aide. He didn't need a personal aide he has an Abaddon two of them in fact, pick one and use them but don't bring in some shit head of an angel with no backbone. That's not the only change there are others, some I aint gonna mention because it would be silly to put it in; in case someone finds it. Never put it in the same place twice anyway! Bunch of vampires with us now ever since the change in Prince happened, you got no idea how overjoyed I am at having Zekkiel closer to hand. So much to repay him for, so few ways I can.
In the meantime I should stop getting drunk specially with Shiloh continously trying to get me in to his office, alone I might add and that's scary in itself but he says he wants to know me. Must avoid Shiloh at all costs, I don't want to forget myself or forget my family.
Lulz of the day:
[15:44] Duncan O'Malley fucks off on his wings of glory, not really caring who is around to see.
Lately its all been work work work and I miss the old Alastor the one that would stop work for just a few minutes to indulge me, rather than just keep on working and being all serious face. A smile, a hug, a touch of comfort, something to let me know he's not as cold as he portrays. I suppose though he needs to be, now more than ever danger is present and we must try to keep that demeanour. I'm not so good at it being an emotional being and highly hot tempered, we had no threats before now not any serious ones anyhow. With this appearence of Shiloh the threat level went up and the angels are more active, we no longer have time to dally off and do what we like we have to focus. So I've been working, always working but getting drunk on the sly. Or getting drunk at the club when Alastor keeps filling my glass on request.
What is this about Leif? That fucking pansy ass is always trailing along behind him, according to the General he's the personal aide. He didn't need a personal aide he has an Abaddon two of them in fact, pick one and use them but don't bring in some shit head of an angel with no backbone. That's not the only change there are others, some I aint gonna mention because it would be silly to put it in; in case someone finds it. Never put it in the same place twice anyway! Bunch of vampires with us now ever since the change in Prince happened, you got no idea how overjoyed I am at having Zekkiel closer to hand. So much to repay him for, so few ways I can.
In the meantime I should stop getting drunk specially with Shiloh continously trying to get me in to his office, alone I might add and that's scary in itself but he says he wants to know me. Must avoid Shiloh at all costs, I don't want to forget myself or forget my family.
Lulz of the day:
[15:44] Duncan O'Malley fucks off on his wings of glory, not really caring who is around to see.
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
Under pressure
I woke up too early
this morning, but what do you expect when I can't really sleep?
The last week has been
hectic to the point I've had so much pressure put upon me, I actually
found a new breaking point for myself. I'm getting ahead of instead
explaining what happened...
You see after I left
Akiel that day when he took Minna away I did some more training, and
got heckled by that prick of a demon Uri who is now dubbed Squiggles.
The day after some of our allies showed up, I know I've been charged
with training an army but our allies too is a bit much. Needless to
say I got in to the swing of it inspecting them, Alastor was getting
mad as Shinya was dropping maggots all over the lobby. I was leading
them outside when some lycan idiot blew the fucking door out, then
the lobby was full of lycans and dust and rubble and a blow up door.
There was this huge battle, Oriax became a massive golem and made the
bull come alive. Alastor captured Akiel, the rest of us captured any
stragglers and that will teach you to attack demons on their home
ground. MORONS!
I wonder where Annika
is I haven't seen her since I made the golem blow up in temper at the
lab, she kissed him I don't know why none of us know why. She's our
general now she's meant to be around for these battles, but she's not
been around I miss her. Sigh... Rules for the prisoners were
established right off the bat, Alastor declared me his second and I
wondered why that happened. I mean he's been putting a lot of
pressure on me lately, master order to make chaos like I did for
getting us to win our fight. Its not just that its now all this train
the Furies, train the demons, make an army...
Tortured two of the
lycans over the weekend one being Shae, the other being Jacqueline
who unlike Shae really doesn't like pain all that much. In between
these tortures I fed energy to Uri to get him to ward the Veritas
building, so its no wonder with no rest and no food I became
unhinged. This means I tend not to think straight either, insanity is
never an excuse but I got it in bucket loads. Reeling from the fact I
gotta stay home and not visit the manse, barely any sleep as I have
to teach the training sessions and lack of food. I did something only
the insane would do. Akiel has now been possessed by a demon called
Aviel, in order to keep the vampires in the loop I took him to the
dungeon. Course what did I expect when I show up with the alpha of
the lycans? Oh man they drew weapons and were prepared to kill him on
the spot, I showed him back out then went to see Zekkiel who was mad
at me.
I broke then... I
wonder if its all the extra work and everything else that made me
break down and cry, or merely the fact I realised I screwed up so
bad. Ugh there are times I really hate emotions and stress, this was
one of them as I'm a demon I shouldn't be crying my eyes out. Zekkiel
says I'm being overworked this has made me unwell, I explained to him
everything that's going on and he like a lot of other people say.
“Its alright Blueray you'll do an excellent job, you can do it.”
If they all got together and broke out in to song, they could sing I
believe I can fly or some other mushy shit they can think of.
I'm rather lost right
now I don't know if I can do it all the time, one battle doesn't mean
I'm cut out for this. I'm not allowed to fail I have to succeed in it
all, I got no idea why I'm even in this position at all. Seriously
I'm an insane monster who enjoys chaos whether by plan or by chance,
here I am being forcibly tempered by a golem who loves order in every
sense of the word. Do I have a big I'm fucking broken, please fix me
sign on my forehead or something?
Anyway I left him a
report, I'm merely awaiting his punishment now.
Lulz of the day:
[21:34] Denenthorn Masukami: yeah that Lorne... such a cock.... oh wait oh my
[21:34] Lorne Harlequin: hesays, as lorne appears in his cockless form
[21:34] Pontifex Jenvieve: So...
[21:34] Denenthorn Masukami: quoted
Lulz of the day:
[21:34] Denenthorn Masukami: yeah that Lorne... such a cock.... oh wait oh my
[21:34] Lorne Harlequin: hesays, as lorne appears in his cockless form
[21:34] Pontifex Jenvieve: So...
[21:34] Denenthorn Masukami: quoted
Thursday, 30 August 2012
The long winded entry
I'm going to start with
last weekend that Zekkiel returned home but still had a limp, he was
mostly healed and everyone in the manse was happy to see him back. He
came home at perfect timing it was also him who set up this baby
shower, the shower was held on Sunday and I vow I have never seen so
much pink. I hope I never see that much again, my fucking eyes
burned. There was showering in baby blood that disappointed me, but I
did manage to scare the shit out of the albino human. Cute as she is
I couldn't help myself! Earlier in the week I had invited Alastor to
the party in order for him to meet Zekkiel, I knew the prince would
want to see the new second in command. As predicted though Alastor
pissed him off, shouldn't be surprised the man pisses me off to no
end. Clover tried blood bonding me to stop me from eating her baby,
and Alastor had a run in with Elijah because the golem looks a lot
like Adin... Maybe that's Oriax's fault...
Right after the baby
shower there was a sacred ritual that I got invited to, I attended it
in mask and robes among other Kalium members who had been invited
also. I was the only outsider among them I really shouldn't call
myself that, after I became the ambassador the vampires have been a
second family to me. I should perhaps say honoured guest? The ritual
was to sacrifice the mage known as Talaith for her crimes against
Zekkiel and the Kalium, we shed our blood to spill upon the floor and
all of us but one offered up forgiveness for her crimes. She blew up
the prince she doesn't deserve forgiveness, besides that shit is for
angels to do as demons don't forgive. Right before she died
completely the walls and floors bled, and a dreadful prophecy fell
upon our heads that the prince would kill his entire household and
burn the manse down. I don't believe in such shit he was the one man
keeping the manse and vampires going, anyone who believes the dieing
words of a mage is a fool. Though I have become curious about their
blood god and wish to learn more, its references like these along
with the name Lydia that make me curious about this cursed race.
During the week I made
a vow to Clover to not eat her child or family, I even got down on
one knee and said my true name. Only Clover heard it as Yui was
preoccupied with sexually tormenting Pusher, who did seem to like it
a lot and I've become worried if the woman is woman at all or man
trapped in a woman. Mostly because Pusher had a strap-on on... There
was a meeting between demons and the lycans Akiel and Sayde in order
to discuss war, Alastor has decided to base this war on our alliance
with vampires and the fact Pack tortured me. According to Akiel the
Pack alpha those who tortured me are no longer pack, the declaration
of war is void and moot but needless to say the report loving golem
pursued the war like a dog in heat. Once the two had left Oriax gave
me my own pet rock to keep, he told me this one talked a lot and it
will help me hear it a lot easier. Its a smooth obsidian stone, I
called it Oliver as the name starts with an O as does the type of
stone it is. Oliver now rests in my belt pouch near my hip at all
times, except when I've shifted. Alastor makes Oliver scream at me...
I was also told to babysit our new librarian called Nigel, if I could
spit fire I would have done.
Walter finally
manifested. In case you don't know Walter is a skull in the candy
jar, on display in the manse's parlour, he has now gotten himself a
ghostly body in order to float about the manse sucking up sanity like
a Cthulu. When I met and spoke with him I could feel my sanity
slipping away every minute, sanity is a precious thing to me yes I
enjoy being in my madness but recently I've needed to stay sane. The
release of the sane boundaries was a small blessing for me, I perhaps
needed the break more than I let on in the first place. I've decided
I only love Walter for his skull and madness, for there is little
else he can offer except companionship. He's a ghost he can live with
it!
There are some things
that even I'm unwilling to write about. I will omit these for the
benefit of myself mostly, I will say that I was ecstatic when Uri got
hurt in the battle against the Abyssal demons. I'm even happier we
injured several angels in the process of that battle, but they can't
do shit about it as we were attacking the invaders too. Collateral
damage birdies! Uri has a new tentacle form I have dubbed him
Squiggles, I also now refuse to raise to his bait as I got more
important things to do. I will also say that Narci came up to me to
ask if I could sneak him in to the manse to look at teasets as he's
looking to buy, he wanted to check their worth before even
considering buying anything. I thought nothing of it and suggested if
he wanted to see them that badly, then I can get him through the door
in an honest fashion rather than a deceitful one. Anything to make
sure our alliance stays strong, I'm just glad he didn't get us killed
by Yui when he told her she has grey hairs!!! Along the same lines of
that oddness, Lix asked me if I knew any Charm celebrities so she can get their autograph.
Shinya is a nosferatu
from the manse it was an odd thing that he invited me to come break
the mind of his childe Thursday, I was more than happy to aid him in
this as Thursday's snivelling after the ritual pissed me off. As I
was about to head off to Thursday's apartment Oriax appeared being
spat out of the pavement, he looked worse for wear since I adore the
imbued greatly I went to assist him. However he said he needed to eat
me and my magic was torn from me like taking candy from a baby, also
at the time Nigel was trying to leave Veritas without a bodyguard. I
had enough to deal with so let him off the hook and took Oriax home
wit the help of Lula, Nigel decided he was annoyed at being babysat
and returned to the Veritas library. Oriax informed me he ate my
magic as he needed to, I got little else out of him and made him go
to sleep as he sank in to the ground he says “Don't let the
lycans.” Don't let them what? Done with that I proceeded on my
original course to the apartment and met up with Shinya, Vector and
Rina. Thankfully my magic had returned some by the time we began
breaking Thursday's mind, it took a long time and a lot of her
screaming I was pretty much drained at the end of it. So you can
understand when I passed the garage and Akiel decided I wasn't worth
the attack, lycans are pretty odd if he had been a demon he would
have attacked anyway. Akiel said he was going to poke things up my
butt, I hope that never happens.
With a week of peace
between us and lycans Alastor saw fit to ask me to start training
everyone in Veritas, a heavy task I was unsure I would be able to
accomplish but had to do anyhow. He also asked me to stay at Veritas
more and to stop spending most of my time at the manse, he knows my
job there is important but right now I got things to do. Task set I
was committed to it... Zekkiel finally managed to leave the manse to
come see our lab, he was awed by its magnificence and extremely
pleased we had such an awesome lab. I made Lula our new hell-hound
recruit stick around to meet Zekkiel, I'm trying to get her to
overcome her bred in hate and its going to take some time. I might
have to take her to the manse with me on occasion when I go for
official business, I want to see how far I can push her before she
shifts and goes rampaging. After the lab I took Zekkiel down to the
dungeon as Alastor had made Oliver scream once again, I led my dear
friend down to where we're keeping Shamus. Shamus is a lycan one of
the LeBlancs and currently gracing our cells, because Alastor wanted
a pet so he collared him. We arrived while the golem was torturing
Shamus and found out it was him who gave the layout of the Pack den,
hearing him scream so loudly got me pent up and that made me angry.
Same thing happened at the ritual after the prince tore out Talaith's
heart, only I didn't deal with it I took it out on Thursday by
slamming her against a wall. Zekkiel saw I was getting angry as
before I went off to go sleep he gave the finger he had been wearing,
he thanked me for showing him around and said I shouldn't be angry.
If he only knew my anger came from my frustrations perhaps he would
understand, I got all serious, bowed and told him he was welcome it
really was a pleasure to show him my home. I found a place to sleep
but before that I had to relieve some pressure.
We almost caught the
traitor Minna but she managed to be taken away, mostly because Akiel
showed up and for some reason he seemed to be more powerful than
usual. I really didn't want to tangle with him as one I didn't want
demons injured, and two I didn't want me injured either as I had a
training session to do. From what I could see of the alpha if I
fought him today I would have been seriously injured, and possibly
have something up my arse curtsey of a hell-hound. Alastor missed the
training session even though he was meant to be a target, for some
reason he never showed up for the entire day and that's odd as he
loves his paperwork more than himself. Not many showed for the
training either but I taught those who did turn up, it was rather
successful and I'm really pleased with Kali's progress. I recruited a
greyman it was then that the bloody golem showed up acting grumpier
and weirder than normal, course this pissed me off specially when he
tells me he'll buy me shirts that fit.. I like this shirt. The
reaction I got out of him about what Uri did two months ago was a
shocker, the entire ground re-acted to his anger that's something
I've never seen before. Even though he was being entirely weird we
agreed to do the Veritas warding and tactics talk tomorrow, it will
probably be done after the day's training session.
So much to do...
Lulz of the day:
[18:36] Blueray Darkes: Walter isn't gay though
[18:36] Dr. Zekkiel Zerundi: I can talk to straight people. Geez.
[18:36] Dr. Zekkiel Zerundi: Wait a minute...
[18:36] Dr. Zekkiel Zerundi: I'm arguing about the sexuality of a skull....with Blueray.
Lulz of the day:
[18:36] Blueray Darkes: Walter isn't gay though
[18:36] Dr. Zekkiel Zerundi: I can talk to straight people. Geez.
[18:36] Dr. Zekkiel Zerundi: Wait a minute...
[18:36] Dr. Zekkiel Zerundi: I'm arguing about the sexuality of a skull....with Blueray.
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
Giant flying fish monsters, bombs, losses and promotions
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Wednesday, 15 August 2012
Someone...Anyone
Its early morning I can tell because the manse is quiet, though I think I've been screaming again. Shit... I'm not supposed to be screaming at nightmares, I'm not supposed to have nightmares either. Fuck just fuck. I think I'm out of it really I do that pain I went through, yeah most demons would take it in their stride I guess. I'm an emotion addict and I eat sin, emotions run rampant that much I
know.
Annika and Samual mean well but they are emotionless so don't understand things on the same plain I do, I honestly can't handle human emotion all that well. No one is around for me to talk to right now, I slide off the couch to say good morning to the skull Walter. He just sits there grinning he's no help either useless bastard! Walking is a bit tough still as my healed body is stiff, I aint surprised its stiff I had to have skin regrown, bones fixed, talons regrown. That shit aint easy to do not even for Zekkiel.
Sore all over too... Ugh and these nightmares really? I'm just re-living it all like I'm some sort of screwed up human, I need to talk to someone, anyone I want to be understood. I want help to understand these... feelings. I'm not scared don't be silly. Pain all I feel is pain not as bad as before, but spikes of it still stab through the human host I inhabit. My wings still need fixing that will have to be done soon, I can't fly right now not that I'm going anywhere soon. Too weak to really move far without having a date with the floor, the floor seems to be happy about this. Sadly the floor isn't huggable...
After I've made this sandwich and eaten it I'm going back to the couch, might as well pass out again and hope no one sits on me. I hate being alone though I've been alone for centuries, I should make amends with Edeline or something. I know how she feels to be alone all the time, its not fair on her that I picked on her but she made it so easy. I think I will get a pie dish when I wake up again.
Clover is due soon...
Lulz of the day:
[13:30] Yui Senjouhara: That kiss was so good, we gave him a ghost a boner.
Annika and Samual mean well but they are emotionless so don't understand things on the same plain I do, I honestly can't handle human emotion all that well. No one is around for me to talk to right now, I slide off the couch to say good morning to the skull Walter. He just sits there grinning he's no help either useless bastard! Walking is a bit tough still as my healed body is stiff, I aint surprised its stiff I had to have skin regrown, bones fixed, talons regrown. That shit aint easy to do not even for Zekkiel.
Sore all over too... Ugh and these nightmares really? I'm just re-living it all like I'm some sort of screwed up human, I need to talk to someone, anyone I want to be understood. I want help to understand these... feelings. I'm not scared don't be silly. Pain all I feel is pain not as bad as before, but spikes of it still stab through the human host I inhabit. My wings still need fixing that will have to be done soon, I can't fly right now not that I'm going anywhere soon. Too weak to really move far without having a date with the floor, the floor seems to be happy about this. Sadly the floor isn't huggable...
After I've made this sandwich and eaten it I'm going back to the couch, might as well pass out again and hope no one sits on me. I hate being alone though I've been alone for centuries, I should make amends with Edeline or something. I know how she feels to be alone all the time, its not fair on her that I picked on her but she made it so easy. I think I will get a pie dish when I wake up again.
Clover is due soon...
Lulz of the day:
[13:30] Yui Senjouhara: That kiss was so good, we gave him a ghost a boner.
Monday, 11 June 2012
He did what?
[Fallen world]
I've had one hell a day yesterday that's for sure, I had found the Rev in order for me to exact some vengence. Things didn't go as planned at all, the mutated thing that he is had skills I was unaware of. Sure I've seen him melt in to fridges and walls, but I had no idea he could try to fuse with living things. That's what happened. Soon as I was going to wrench an arm off he became an oozing mass, that wriggled its way in to my host's body. Once inside he explode some of my organs, not massively important ones but they had their own things that are dangerous for the body when let out. I used fire to cover my body to burn him out, he came out of my back causing several holes that bled profously.
Unlike some of my kin I don't leave the host until its dead, it takes me forever to change back as I got to get the legs fixed. Sadly the more I shift and break the bones the more calcium builds up around the bones, by that time the host would be unable to walk and it would be time to get a new one. I'm always loathe to leave a host it provides me with a shell, along with an anchor that usually keeps my mind somewhat stable. The Rev and I ended up badly hurt me from my internals and holes, him from the fact he was so badly burnt. That didn't stop us we were going to carry on fighting til one of us gave up, I won the battle by impaling him on earth spikes but not before he got an axe in to my neck. Just about as I was going to finish him off for good, some people showed up to stop me and began to protect him.
One of them was a cloud or mist I can't remember but I think she was the nun, I seen that same form in the library in the haze of red I saw for days because of the red light. There was a winged woman proberly an angel, and some pink haired chick I remember calling a tadpole. The mist threatened to sufficate me, I threw myself off the edge of the building I'd been fighting on. That's when Annika found me with the mist woman standing over me going to make good on her threat, don't worry grey cloud I'll remember you and then you're going to get it. Annika had scared the woman away thank fuck for that, then I saw Uri was with her that arrogant, fucking bastard. Was not up for his crap today at all... And yes I'm a badass but you try being in a host body with EXPLODED ORGANS!!! I guess he knew how badly I was fucked up on the inside due to that because he stopped making snide remarks, Annika told him to start healing me but all he could manage was to scab me over and stop the internal bleeding via holding my stuff together.
I mean okay we've been butting heads for a while now showing eachother we can both be mind fucked, the fact is if I really wanted to I could unleash half the city on him and be done with it all. Why go to all that effort for just one demon? He gave up what he could to keep my host going, Annika finished it off telling me I would be sore for a few days so no shifting or fighting... She's right about that my body aches but its the ache I can live with at least, then she drops a bomb on Uri and I telling us we got to work together. Work together?! Okay I mean I know she wants to capture a couple of people, but seriously work with that arsehole? He doesn't even want my help or my contacts, he thinks I'm just some ingrate that he can kick around like a football. Well fine if he comes BEGGING for my help I might give it to him, I don't have much of a choice really I owe them both and Annika is an elder Fury...
I really hate my life.
Lulz of the day:
[17:12] Roan Lighthouse shouts: I don't think you understand... THAT GIRL RUINED SOME OF MY INTERIOR WITH HER VAGINA!
I've had one hell a day yesterday that's for sure, I had found the Rev in order for me to exact some vengence. Things didn't go as planned at all, the mutated thing that he is had skills I was unaware of. Sure I've seen him melt in to fridges and walls, but I had no idea he could try to fuse with living things. That's what happened. Soon as I was going to wrench an arm off he became an oozing mass, that wriggled its way in to my host's body. Once inside he explode some of my organs, not massively important ones but they had their own things that are dangerous for the body when let out. I used fire to cover my body to burn him out, he came out of my back causing several holes that bled profously.
Unlike some of my kin I don't leave the host until its dead, it takes me forever to change back as I got to get the legs fixed. Sadly the more I shift and break the bones the more calcium builds up around the bones, by that time the host would be unable to walk and it would be time to get a new one. I'm always loathe to leave a host it provides me with a shell, along with an anchor that usually keeps my mind somewhat stable. The Rev and I ended up badly hurt me from my internals and holes, him from the fact he was so badly burnt. That didn't stop us we were going to carry on fighting til one of us gave up, I won the battle by impaling him on earth spikes but not before he got an axe in to my neck. Just about as I was going to finish him off for good, some people showed up to stop me and began to protect him.
One of them was a cloud or mist I can't remember but I think she was the nun, I seen that same form in the library in the haze of red I saw for days because of the red light. There was a winged woman proberly an angel, and some pink haired chick I remember calling a tadpole. The mist threatened to sufficate me, I threw myself off the edge of the building I'd been fighting on. That's when Annika found me with the mist woman standing over me going to make good on her threat, don't worry grey cloud I'll remember you and then you're going to get it. Annika had scared the woman away thank fuck for that, then I saw Uri was with her that arrogant, fucking bastard. Was not up for his crap today at all... And yes I'm a badass but you try being in a host body with EXPLODED ORGANS!!! I guess he knew how badly I was fucked up on the inside due to that because he stopped making snide remarks, Annika told him to start healing me but all he could manage was to scab me over and stop the internal bleeding via holding my stuff together.
I mean okay we've been butting heads for a while now showing eachother we can both be mind fucked, the fact is if I really wanted to I could unleash half the city on him and be done with it all. Why go to all that effort for just one demon? He gave up what he could to keep my host going, Annika finished it off telling me I would be sore for a few days so no shifting or fighting... She's right about that my body aches but its the ache I can live with at least, then she drops a bomb on Uri and I telling us we got to work together. Work together?! Okay I mean I know she wants to capture a couple of people, but seriously work with that arsehole? He doesn't even want my help or my contacts, he thinks I'm just some ingrate that he can kick around like a football. Well fine if he comes BEGGING for my help I might give it to him, I don't have much of a choice really I owe them both and Annika is an elder Fury...
I really hate my life.
Lulz of the day:
[17:12] Roan Lighthouse shouts: I don't think you understand... THAT GIRL RUINED SOME OF MY INTERIOR WITH HER VAGINA!
Sunday, 10 June 2012
Lost, found, alone
[The Fallen world]
Down there, down there its terrible. I'm surrounded by four walls with no way out, its dark there's no light, there's no sound, no contact from others who had been thrown down from heaven. I was alone. I remember screaming, throwing myself against the walls, clawing at the surfaces with nails that had become claws. All the while I screamed as I tried to get out. How long did I rage at being captive? How many days, weeks, years, centuries? I'm considered a danger to everyone because I been made psychotic, suppose they were right as I injured myself frequently on the unforgiving walls. Strange how one loses all sense of time, and in it has a complete loss of sanity once and for all. A gibbering wreck wanting blood, alone in the dark surrounded by four walls.
I forgot myself, I forgot heaven, I forgot my name.
My purpose however remained.
Chaos, blood shed, pride...
And then... Everything cracked open, I crawled out to the surface world. A place ripe with sin, emotion and order I wanted to smash.
Many things have happened since I got out of Hell. My first host was a lovely creature, she was not easily subdued however and I merely slumbered. I think she knew she was no longer alone in her own body, but acted normally despite my presence at the back of her mind. I needed time to gain strength from my long imprisonment on my own, while she wandered around I slept, gained information, I grew. I was happy to be free. However she ended up being smacked upside the head with a hammer carried by a red headed woman, that was when I was able to wake up to take over the body to shift it to my form crafted by my time in the cell. Safe to say that woman hadn't expected to be attacked by one such as myself, though still weakened I managed to put up a good enough fight. A house is now minus one window.
Over the course of my time on the surface I have gotten in to trouble which, is a most delicious thing to do. I have found I like to eat pride, pride links with wrath when wounded, and someone who prides their appearence often makes lust. I hate lust. I had been on my own trying to find others who were like me, not the angels for though we were once kin they are now hated. Like how human families always have one disgusting uncle, they exile him from their presence. That is what it is like with the angels, those twats who stayed in heaven to blindly follow God. Fights were a common thing, I was chasing a man who resemembled a beast known as a pig a thing domesticated by humans. I was shot by some interfering woman who I then attacked til she misted, insane at the time I didn't bother to question it so intense was the need to hurt something.
I also tangled with two groups of angels at two seperate occasions, the last encounter ended up with the loss of my host. I was forced to flee it to find another for me to take over, lest I go back to the depths from where I came from. Oh there was this amazing demoness called Sasha I forget her full name, but she invited me to visit Veritas where the demons live! In the porn shop used to be Crio but she's gone now, I miss Crio I also miss Berith or Pieter that I met. He helped me out after I got chocolate in my hair, because for some reason I thought a chocolate teapot would make a great hat. We all hung out together to do all sorts of crap, it was fun but they're gone now and Pieter is in some other faction. I think he ate the demon that was in him, Missy wouldn't explain it.
Missy is a lust demoness she likes to get all hot and bothered, when ever she's getting naughty I don't want to be around. Her lust is forcefed to me that makes me horny, I have no wish to go copulate with some poor sap. That's what tails are for. Mephis and Oriax are a couple they both have their amusing qualities, in order to keep up to date with news I got my self employed in to their services. Aegis Security what a perfect job! Oriax is occasionally annoying he keeps trying to convince me to do dirty things with him in alleyways, recently he's taken to try leaping on to my back after the stones incident. He's... "Special". Mephis is the more sane of the two but I have noticed he can go a bit nuts as well, I've grown on that demon like a cancerous growth but Mephis is a good friend. Anyway I'm going off track I think. There was this other demon called... I will recall his name when I see him but he always appears to be haggard, as if his host can't cope with whatever demon resides in there. He must be of immense power to make that happen, or just incompetant and can't take over. I like Annika, Pi, Cember, Missy and Sam... Though Sam has moments of where I feel he's a complete ass, but otherwise he looks after the family. Kaze aka The Advocator was the one who suggested I become a Fury, in that role I have done a lot that has been appreciated. Kaze has gone now so has Sasha, I heard the angels dismembered her. Butcher was also lost to the angels despite the amount of information I gathered to try and orginise his rescue, we're broken now not as united as we used to be. That will change we will become whole again soon.
I missed something... Oh the shelter where Adin, Elijah and Bastian are. Adin is an angel he's Elijah's lover, Elijah is a demon maybe that's why Adin acts part demon. Unusual for an angel but that is proberly why I like the pair of them, Bastian however is an enigma though he's a clergy man of sorts he's in to romance novels and used to be dead. Ugh those two though soon as Adin gets frisky he doesn't care who's watching, he's all over Elijah and the demon lets it happen. Proberly for shits and giggles... They hump more than rabbits do!
My web over the city has been sprung and I'm still working on it, when my madness allows me to be sane I can get a lot done. How do I know I'm even insane? I have gained relations/contacts within the House of Kallium, I'm rather fond of Zekk the vampire prince. He's creepy I like that and he has sharp, pointy things that can cut people. I've seen his wrath, tasted it but we work for eachother for mutual benefit, I do tasks for him and in return I can have favours or gain information that is much needed for the demons. Though I believe he tricked me last night. I'd been invited to see something that would make me happy, the general talk when it began was to lure in The Retriever that grabs marked souls. I think Pi and I had gleaned that once there they would then lure in angels to rescue the captives the vampires had, then the spiked demon would eat them all for the benefit of a good show. However I been asked to make illusions to hide the mass of people from sight except Cassandra, I did as I was asked because I wanted to see the angels suffer. Once Retriever had shown up the command to subdue the beast was cracked out, at this point I was too drained to be angry over the trick at all. I never got to see the angels suffering I passed out, I just hope that when Pi reported back she skipped over the illusion part.
I was tricked...
Two can play that game!
Lulz of the day:
[16:35] Blueray Darkes: [just say when I can post in :D]
[16:36] Father Sebastian: ((NOW. We need more Blueray.))
Down there, down there its terrible. I'm surrounded by four walls with no way out, its dark there's no light, there's no sound, no contact from others who had been thrown down from heaven. I was alone. I remember screaming, throwing myself against the walls, clawing at the surfaces with nails that had become claws. All the while I screamed as I tried to get out. How long did I rage at being captive? How many days, weeks, years, centuries? I'm considered a danger to everyone because I been made psychotic, suppose they were right as I injured myself frequently on the unforgiving walls. Strange how one loses all sense of time, and in it has a complete loss of sanity once and for all. A gibbering wreck wanting blood, alone in the dark surrounded by four walls.
I forgot myself, I forgot heaven, I forgot my name.
My purpose however remained.
Chaos, blood shed, pride...
And then... Everything cracked open, I crawled out to the surface world. A place ripe with sin, emotion and order I wanted to smash.
Many things have happened since I got out of Hell. My first host was a lovely creature, she was not easily subdued however and I merely slumbered. I think she knew she was no longer alone in her own body, but acted normally despite my presence at the back of her mind. I needed time to gain strength from my long imprisonment on my own, while she wandered around I slept, gained information, I grew. I was happy to be free. However she ended up being smacked upside the head with a hammer carried by a red headed woman, that was when I was able to wake up to take over the body to shift it to my form crafted by my time in the cell. Safe to say that woman hadn't expected to be attacked by one such as myself, though still weakened I managed to put up a good enough fight. A house is now minus one window.
Over the course of my time on the surface I have gotten in to trouble which, is a most delicious thing to do. I have found I like to eat pride, pride links with wrath when wounded, and someone who prides their appearence often makes lust. I hate lust. I had been on my own trying to find others who were like me, not the angels for though we were once kin they are now hated. Like how human families always have one disgusting uncle, they exile him from their presence. That is what it is like with the angels, those twats who stayed in heaven to blindly follow God. Fights were a common thing, I was chasing a man who resemembled a beast known as a pig a thing domesticated by humans. I was shot by some interfering woman who I then attacked til she misted, insane at the time I didn't bother to question it so intense was the need to hurt something.
I also tangled with two groups of angels at two seperate occasions, the last encounter ended up with the loss of my host. I was forced to flee it to find another for me to take over, lest I go back to the depths from where I came from. Oh there was this amazing demoness called Sasha I forget her full name, but she invited me to visit Veritas where the demons live! In the porn shop used to be Crio but she's gone now, I miss Crio I also miss Berith or Pieter that I met. He helped me out after I got chocolate in my hair, because for some reason I thought a chocolate teapot would make a great hat. We all hung out together to do all sorts of crap, it was fun but they're gone now and Pieter is in some other faction. I think he ate the demon that was in him, Missy wouldn't explain it.
Missy is a lust demoness she likes to get all hot and bothered, when ever she's getting naughty I don't want to be around. Her lust is forcefed to me that makes me horny, I have no wish to go copulate with some poor sap. That's what tails are for. Mephis and Oriax are a couple they both have their amusing qualities, in order to keep up to date with news I got my self employed in to their services. Aegis Security what a perfect job! Oriax is occasionally annoying he keeps trying to convince me to do dirty things with him in alleyways, recently he's taken to try leaping on to my back after the stones incident. He's... "Special". Mephis is the more sane of the two but I have noticed he can go a bit nuts as well, I've grown on that demon like a cancerous growth but Mephis is a good friend. Anyway I'm going off track I think. There was this other demon called... I will recall his name when I see him but he always appears to be haggard, as if his host can't cope with whatever demon resides in there. He must be of immense power to make that happen, or just incompetant and can't take over. I like Annika, Pi, Cember, Missy and Sam... Though Sam has moments of where I feel he's a complete ass, but otherwise he looks after the family. Kaze aka The Advocator was the one who suggested I become a Fury, in that role I have done a lot that has been appreciated. Kaze has gone now so has Sasha, I heard the angels dismembered her. Butcher was also lost to the angels despite the amount of information I gathered to try and orginise his rescue, we're broken now not as united as we used to be. That will change we will become whole again soon.
I missed something... Oh the shelter where Adin, Elijah and Bastian are. Adin is an angel he's Elijah's lover, Elijah is a demon maybe that's why Adin acts part demon. Unusual for an angel but that is proberly why I like the pair of them, Bastian however is an enigma though he's a clergy man of sorts he's in to romance novels and used to be dead. Ugh those two though soon as Adin gets frisky he doesn't care who's watching, he's all over Elijah and the demon lets it happen. Proberly for shits and giggles... They hump more than rabbits do!
My web over the city has been sprung and I'm still working on it, when my madness allows me to be sane I can get a lot done. How do I know I'm even insane? I have gained relations/contacts within the House of Kallium, I'm rather fond of Zekk the vampire prince. He's creepy I like that and he has sharp, pointy things that can cut people. I've seen his wrath, tasted it but we work for eachother for mutual benefit, I do tasks for him and in return I can have favours or gain information that is much needed for the demons. Though I believe he tricked me last night. I'd been invited to see something that would make me happy, the general talk when it began was to lure in The Retriever that grabs marked souls. I think Pi and I had gleaned that once there they would then lure in angels to rescue the captives the vampires had, then the spiked demon would eat them all for the benefit of a good show. However I been asked to make illusions to hide the mass of people from sight except Cassandra, I did as I was asked because I wanted to see the angels suffer. Once Retriever had shown up the command to subdue the beast was cracked out, at this point I was too drained to be angry over the trick at all. I never got to see the angels suffering I passed out, I just hope that when Pi reported back she skipped over the illusion part.
I was tricked...
Two can play that game!
Lulz of the day:
[16:35] Blueray Darkes: [just say when I can post in :D]
[16:36] Father Sebastian: ((NOW. We need more Blueray.))
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