Under pressure

I woke up too early this morning, but what do you expect when I can't really sleep?

The last week has been hectic to the point I've had so much pressure put upon me, I actually found a new breaking point for myself. I'm getting ahead of instead explaining what happened...

You see after I left Akiel that day when he took Minna away I did some more training, and got heckled by that prick of a demon Uri who is now dubbed Squiggles. The day after some of our allies showed up, I know I've been charged with training an army but our allies too is a bit much. Needless to say I got in to the swing of it inspecting them, Alastor was getting mad as Shinya was dropping maggots all over the lobby. I was leading them outside when some lycan idiot blew the fucking door out, then the lobby was full of lycans and dust and rubble and a blow up door. There was this huge battle, Oriax became a massive golem and made the bull come alive. Alastor captured Akiel, the rest of us captured any stragglers and that will teach you to attack demons on their home ground. MORONS!

I wonder where Annika is I haven't seen her since I made the golem blow up in temper at the lab, she kissed him I don't know why none of us know why. She's our general now she's meant to be around for these battles, but she's not been around I miss her. Sigh... Rules for the prisoners were established right off the bat, Alastor declared me his second and I wondered why that happened. I mean he's been putting a lot of pressure on me lately, master order to make chaos like I did for getting us to win our fight. Its not just that its now all this train the Furies, train the demons, make an army...

Tortured two of the lycans over the weekend one being Shae, the other being Jacqueline who unlike Shae really doesn't like pain all that much. In between these tortures I fed energy to Uri to get him to ward the Veritas building, so its no wonder with no rest and no food I became unhinged. This means I tend not to think straight either, insanity is never an excuse but I got it in bucket loads. Reeling from the fact I gotta stay home and not visit the manse, barely any sleep as I have to teach the training sessions and lack of food. I did something only the insane would do. Akiel has now been possessed by a demon called Aviel, in order to keep the vampires in the loop I took him to the dungeon. Course what did I expect when I show up with the alpha of the lycans? Oh man they drew weapons and were prepared to kill him on the spot, I showed him back out then went to see Zekkiel who was mad at me.

I broke then... I wonder if its all the extra work and everything else that made me break down and cry, or merely the fact I realised I screwed up so bad. Ugh there are times I really hate emotions and stress, this was one of them as I'm a demon I shouldn't be crying my eyes out. Zekkiel says I'm being overworked this has made me unwell, I explained to him everything that's going on and he like a lot of other people say. “Its alright Blueray you'll do an excellent job, you can do it.” If they all got together and broke out in to song, they could sing I believe I can fly or some other mushy shit they can think of.

I'm rather lost right now I don't know if I can do it all the time, one battle doesn't mean I'm cut out for this. I'm not allowed to fail I have to succeed in it all, I got no idea why I'm even in this position at all. Seriously I'm an insane monster who enjoys chaos whether by plan or by chance, here I am being forcibly tempered by a golem who loves order in every sense of the word. Do I have a big I'm fucking broken, please fix me sign on my forehead or something?

Anyway I left him a report, I'm merely awaiting his punishment now.

Lulz of the day:

[21:34]  Denenthorn Masukami: yeah that Lorne... such a cock.... oh wait oh my
[21:34]  Lorne Harlequin: hesays, as lorne appears in his cockless form
[21:34]  Pontifex Jenvieve: So...
[21:34]  Denenthorn Masukami: quoted