New challenges

Roaming is something I missed doing, being stuck in one place for almost two years begins to grate on one. Specially if you led, then led again to leave leadership and return to a normal post. This is what happened and I don't really mind, I will forever know the innerworkings but I have realised that due to my current attitude I am no Walker. I went Caster and have happily stayed there wiling away my days, inputting when I needed to input helping out when I needed to help. Also at my present state of being in a rutt and being flawed, I am no leader and thus require no such role to occupy my time.

What does a demon do with too much time on her hands?

Prey has been in short supply as of late, since I am no longer bound to the island so I spent time in LA. Here I have had the fortune of new challenges, new foes, new admirers and new enemies to get to grips with. I have grown to feel I belong in this shell's family and thus I have stayed, the officiers and the leaders are all well tuned in to eachother. Something that a good family has well oiled team, reminds me of the family back home. Yeah... Toxia is still home in my view, LA is like a good vacation.

Brutality is a thing I am familar with its been all around me, I also have had the oppurtunity to deliver my own brand of pain upon the grand total of two victems so far. That and I scare the hell out of a couple of neko girls, two brand new scare toys for me to harress for my own amusement. Never judge a book by its cover, they found that out when I went full demon on their asses.

Chaos, blood, violence I find it here in great abundence, there is always a task to do if we so wish to do so when we're bored. Over the last few days I have fed well, the overload making my mind break in to its insanity. I have noticed also during my stay here that Dr.Stein is a very busy man, not only does he have the blonde thing to look after but he does a great amount of work for the undead here. Keeping them together mostly but he has competation from the flesh crafters in the ranks, regular ole medicine and experimenation verus the magikal art of crafting flesh. I much prefer a blade and my hands to do my work, I always was a hands on kinda girl its about to get me in to trouble.

That poor human girl I tore apart, she's now in the ranks of undead. Oh my the future will be fun, first I have to deal with the full moon if I step foot in LA tonight.

New Year's Eve... Full moon... Dendra wants out...

Lulz of the day:

[13:03] Nebiros Outlander would point out if his mouth is occupied, he cant sing.
[13:08] Celtic Destiny has the decision made then
[13:09] Blueray Darkes shoves a sock in Neb's mouth
[13:09] Blueray Darkes: See? Now its occupied
[13:10] Celtic Destiny: ?me thinks Blue is juust the shit from this point on and forever
[13:10] Blueray Darkes laughs

New land!

I was freed from Toxian City!

Stein and me we broke open my chest, tore out my heart and for the first time I could see it was black. Tampered with. Filling a jar with my own blood we placed the heart in to it, I entrusted myself to the doctor. Destroying my shell afterwards as I had dragged all the essence out of it, I will not be bound to this island anymore I needed more freedom.

My will is to serve the House, my desire to be all that I can, to be strong in all ways, I can not imagine why I trusted Stein to do this for me. He more than likely wanted to dissect the organ, to be fascinated by the way it would mend itself. Only other I would have trusted to take my heart anywhere would have been Pieter, but he never leaves the city and I like this human. Even if he is a monster.

Stein did his work in flipped out crazy mode, I could hear him as I beat inside the jar simply waiting. He spoke to me in that insane way he has when he's slipped, my blood on his hands falling between his fingers as he held my heart in his palms. I could feel myself seeping through his pores, burning a path to his brain infecting him with the madness I carry. In this state as just an organ with all but a little of sensory feeling lost, I had other ways to feel my enviroment and different ways to feel things. He placed me inside the body of a dead lycan, oh hell familar ground for me and I took to it like a duck to water. Fixing myself in place as my blood began the healing, with my weakened state I found I was unable to heal the surgical incision. The doctor got out thread and needle to sow me up neatly, while I spoke with a few members of the lycan's family.

For now I have been wandering around this new city and the delights it will have to offer up to me, I intend to fix the weaknesses that I have in this place to serve where I had no previous ties and where I am unknown. Too long have I had the prestige of respect from once being a Shadow Council member and one of the Seconds In Command, to return to humbler beginings where I had no such leadership and once more follow without expectations. I guess the urge to be where I feel belong to "pack" with others, is a thing I have been unable to kill off even with the months I spent as a demon.

My new playground - City of Lost Angels

My family while I roam here - Archaic Redemption

My future is in my hands, and I promise this. Skyler my brother dear I will always strive to remember my roots, to remember that people are tools and the way I used to use them. Hitaroki my friend and so much more, I will reach that full potential that you and others tell me I can achieve.

Let the cycle begin once more a new, in the body of a lycan called Dendra. Don't worry crazy little thing, we will be one completely and undeniably you will be mine.

Lulz of the day:

Do not give Blueray sugar and caffiene, the hyperactivity on skype scares the shit out of you!

Spiraling in to insanity

I never thought I'd go as far to say, I think I am mad completely mad. In this moment of lucidity I will write this entry, before I end up sinking back in to the insanity that has claimed me. There has been far too much chaos recently, I feed on it to fuel myself but I can't stop the intake I'm overfed. My own blood I think is also finally affecting me, the madness that it causes when in those not immune is now consuming my mind. I also got sucked in to this portal where the Toxic Queen was coming out from, that place where she is so fractured and chaotic I was overloaded to the point of losing my own mind.

Also hanging around with crazy people doesn't help me at all, Stein is rubbing off on me everytime I find myself stable he cracks and I go back in to the abyss alongside him. Two god damn lunatics one who thrives on all things medical, the other a hellbent creature intent on destroying the living things around them in any way possible. What a wonderful combination, with no boundries placed on me at all my violence leaks out more than usual.

~I want to break you~

I understand what Janvier meant by the weakness of the mind, for each of his children it has been different from himself. I can now recall the mental states that affected them all, accept Picket was always sort of nutty anyway. I suppose now that insanity is contagious, I'll enjoy this new wave of freedom and explore it to the fullest. I do love to learn.

The Queen is out and rampaging around the City, her children are out and rampaging. Chaos grows thicker by the second and by the minute, the blood flows along the streets and this madness, this insanity has once more been bought down on us by Dimentox. Why can't that guy stay buried? I don't think I can write anymore, I think I'm going to go back in to the derangement.

~I want to break you~

Lulz of the day:

[19:45] DCS2 2.46.1: Jax Stryker OOC: *makes a mental note*
[19:46] DCS2 2.46.1: Blueray Darkes OOC: *slaps Jax sane*
[19:46] DCS2 2.46.1: Jax Stryker OOC: *...blinks. Has a sudden urge to talk about politics and have a coffee with one sugar and two creams*
[19:47] DCS2 2.46.1: Blueray Darkes OOC: Okay that just made me want to kill you
[19:47] DCS2 2.46.1: Jax Stryker OOC: <3

Round three! DING DING

For whom the bell tolls...

A saying often used for purposes to signal death, either through a battle or natural causes. The bell tolled for me long ago, I mean I'm dead I don't really care about losing my shell. Essence goes to Hell and it can be pulled back, I wonder who would pull me back or could I do it on my own.

Martko challenged me to round three of our little contest, this time he was prepared with a sword imbued with holy power. So I too came prepared on top of the cinema with my own hammer, imbued and tainted with demonic energy and two different forms of blood.

The ultimate clash!

We fought in the pouring rain like kungfu fighting with our weapons, me with my dragon headed hammer and him with his sword. No idea where the rain came from. There was this one moment when we made a shockwave, all pretty colours and a large dust cloud. Watch anime that will give you a good thing to match it up with. Ugh.

Holy weapons hurt thats what they are intended to do, to burn and sear when the wound is already healed. Its never on the surface it sort of lingers inside, to cause agony beyond anything you thought possible. Like the holy water blood from Cid after I tore his face off, my stomach hurt so much that I barely left the Pit for a day and half.

I won this round or did I? I know I won the second one even with a smashed in face, cos I heard he was crying in the church from the visions caused by my blood. I did warn him this time not to make me bleed, I even infected a kitty cat a few days ago serves him right for asking for my blood. HA. Martko I think was more messed up than I was, I crawled home again writhing in pain to the volcano. I rested inside the lava to heal from the holy damage I recieved, til a noisey fucking bike woke me up.

Bloody fucking Imps need to learn their place, specially Imps that are not Shadows.

Lulz of the day:

[23:58] Big Kuhr: I need some badass nipple rings, where do I go to buy em
[23:59] Dracon Dyszel: this is gonna sound so fucked up Big but ask my mom

Quick update.. *sigh*

Yep yep one of those weeks, and damn I'm late at updating again but whatever. Its my journal and I'll update when I want to, simple as that anyone that doesn't like it... I will eat their face like I ate Pilgrim's face.

On to the quick update for whatever I haven't put in here yet.

Maki bit me went crazy from my blood, ate Pilgrim's face and made her sick. Fight with Martko round two, I ended up with a smashed in face and one tenticle missing. On the upside he got my blood on him and went crazy. Fed a vampire some of my blood that she took willingly, had some weird man hunt my ass down and he never found me.

Halloween saw the city people being the polar oppersite of what they were, Pieter was an angel and Kash was Jesus. Doctor Stein was a pimp... Jesus made the nun Suyuan masturbate with a crucifix.

Tom died and went to Hell leaving his shell empty, opened up Hellgate used family members energies and thoughts to get him back. Cursed Suyuan to have a penis and a constant erection, payback for making Kash have a vagina and a period for something he did to her that she enjoyed.

Tangled with Doc. He sought me out for payback and tried to look tough, played it off then the THING interrupted. Stein caught up with me to force me to give him respect, he earned it by all rights and has it now for evermore. Fucking human is agile even when he is healing, bloody bastard that he is.

Feeling of demise sweeps the city's nations, odd behavour from Pix and other individuals. A strange email shows up and some odd writing, clues elude to something big happening. On going process to make chaos and trouble, church doesn't like me I'm dubbed the ruthless Shadow... I'm happy.

Long live the Shadows, now recruiting dark peoples.

Lulz of the day:

Jules Carami: You can't clone Blue cos there is only one, everything is just an off color

The darkness

I had wanted this.... The complete darkness, to be engulfed entirely and be free of any flaws. No humanity, no weakness to be strong and be above all others that were not Shadow. Not only am I in the darkness, I am a part of it inseperatble from it. I can't seem to get a handle on it, to use the power that flows within me.

Sort of like being on the bottom of a well, with no way out but up. I don't want to go up I want go down further, in to the comfort of damnation I have sought for. I hated humanity hated the mortality that coiled around me, choking me making me weak to cry in terror and fear. Now I'm better than that once more strong, unbroken and unfettered ready to take on the city.

My Lord is the path to the new ages and I walk beside him, old days flooding my mind like they happened yesterday. Everyone is expendable and the city will tremble before us, for we are the House of Shadows.

Corruption

Lulz of the day:

RockPup (In Skype): Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle AGH PIETER'S CROTCH!!!

Reborn the Monster

Kaira killed me... Gutted me right there and then on the Pit floor, she had her reason I did torture her a bit on the alter. Killing me? Is that really justified?

~Cut to the part of being well dead~

I looked around in that familar blackness, my body was dead and honestly this was the second time I lost it completely. Fourth death though ha I'm getting a good track record.... Death was there in its male aspect, you ever seen Hades from Greek mythology? He was looking like that not something I normally go for, but meh I was already comfortable with Death so what the fuck ever.

"We really have to stop meeting like this".

"You're telling me"?

Death moved towards me, "It is not time for you to die now is it? Never is since you are not meant to be dead, you are going to wake up sooner or later. Ahh Misato always the one that got away".

"I've been damned since the first time I went demon, you telling me that I will never truely die"?

"Thats the gist of it", he said. "That little heart of yours, it wasn't as human as you thought it was".

I blinked, "Excuse me"?

He seemed to laugh then, "Eeehhh... Well the confines of humanity actually made its demon nature dorment, when your body was ended it freed it to return to what it was. Oh child of Janvier".

"I have a question".

"Yes"?

"That demoness who killed my parents, she isn't really me is she"?

Death got a serious expression, "You've seen there are other dimensions and realities, imagine that particular demoness came from one such dimension.... That is the you who was BORN a demoness, pure demon and true as you will be soon".

As the light or should that be a blacker black than the blackness I was already sitting in, suddenly invaded my personal inner sanctum I sat down to take that in. Death embraced me in the way a lover would, in the way I wish a certain one would do every day.

~End scene~

All I could feel was heat immense heat all around me, coursing through me and I was just floating in this heat. I don't know does a heart actually feel anything at all? I crawled out of the volcano my hands grasping for the edge to drag myself free of the lava, I crept over the floor hissing in my own violent re-birth towards my Lord. He ordered me to go out and feed to not take too long either, with Jason by my side I went out in to the city and mananged to feed off a couple of kitties.

Afterwards I tested the blood of my lineage on Stein, it seems it still works though a lot less potent. I can't figure out why the rest of my old powers will not work, perhaps because Belial abandoned my father... Janvier.

Lulz of the day:

Kashgari: Who are you raping?
Pieter: Your sister