Blueray's ramblings

The tunnels

2012-01-28T18:26:00.000-08:00

(CoLA timeline)

We were going to go to the mountains, fucking mountains! Everyone in the family was preparing to go, we had food and backpacks even first aid kits. The zombies going on a field trip to recover some sort of artifact, I was pumped as other than some large hills in Syn I had never been to some mountains before. I made sure everything was fine with Xan, cut him open put food in his stomach then seal him shut. Even set up loads of wards of defence to protect him while I was gone, I was going to be away for a long time he needed protection. My love... Wake up soon.

First we gathered at the warehouse to make sure everyone was here, Cara was running late but that gave us plenty of time to sort ourselves out. Passing around packs, kits and various other things. Once Cara showed we were on our way through the lands outside of LA, that included the Pack lands we had to traverse through. At the tunnels we re-grouped and went in, dark, dank and gloomy in there my sort of place, no sooner had we reached the inner chamber and began to search one of my wards went off.

I ran out of those tunnels fast as I could to where I keep Xan's sleeping form, the ward being triggered was a false alarm. I relaxed. Yet by the time I had gotten back to his side it was too late to go back to the tunnels, I cursed my bad luck and felt like I abandoned them. Xan is family too he's part of the AR, and he's my husband. Never before has there been a tug like this in my life, family above all others family first.

What do you do when one member of that family is not only a part of yourself, but also your lover and husband?

Lulz of the day:

[21:29] Oliviana Firelight offers her some brown sauce with her meal
[21:32] Blueray Darkes: YOU MONSTER
[21:32] Oliviana Firelight: HAHAHAHA
[21:32] Oliviana Firelight dies laughing

Strange dreams

2012-01-04T09:00:00.000-08:00

(CoLA timeline)

When I'm not watching over Xan or hunting or even working for the AR, I tend to curl up beside my husband and sleep. My dreams are strange to me as I'm in another place, another time altogether that makes me pang for the ones I hold dear.

I'm an angel... My wings are mutilated my feelings are that I've done this myself, they keep growing back and I keep breaking them. I wasn't always an angel I was once a demon, this dream is familar to me somehow. I don't know why or how but I've been dreaming this a lot, and it just progresses along each time the dream comes to me. The first time this happened I saw Drake, then Savannah and Magpie, though everytime he shows up I get this coil of hatred, betrayal and anger towards him. Ah... The angel thing is his doing, how cruel to trap such a proud being in a body like that. Skyler won't talk to me anymore because I stink, I kill humans to

I see everything that happens, how it happens, why it happened. All I can do is watch as this isn't really me, this isn't even real its not really happened. Fuck I miss them. Days of being sick because of the change, days of wanting revenge for the hurtful condition. Time moves on I can see me standing with Savannah, I still want to grope her but we talked instead of old days. Seems anyone I meet I'm always talking about the old days...

More old faces they're now Kytara and Fraz, the pangs again even as we talked. Old days always the old days, they were wanting to rejoin the House and I still refuse. I wonder why I'm so adament on this refusal, I miss my family I miss my friends though I tortured my friends. Hehehe. Sigh...

Now I see Skyler, Asher, Dracon, Jules, Monk. People I spent time with as a family, Skyler wants back in and Asher is already there. After watching my brothers fight like toddlers I go to see Dracon, my bodyguard, my fighter, one of my own confidants. Where are the others? I didn't find Savannah or Jaco again, I saw Felice briefly before I attacked and ate some neko fingers. I don't like this dream anymore it causes me pain, I really should stop opening that door but...

I woke up and fell off the bed my face was wet with tears, I'm dead I shouldn't be able to cry anymore. I'm not just a demon anymore I'm a Risen, not the first hybrid but the first demon one. Demon zombie there's a first, I know I've been dreaming about something that's why I was crying. I sat on the floor for some time as Xan sleeps above me on the bed, eventually I drag myself up to look at him and smile. I gave up a lot to start here and gained a lot too, the laws of the Archaics are the same ones that I used to follow back in days past. Family before all others. I know I failed that law back then, don't ask me how I only just figured that out.

My heart aches though, I need to stop that. Its too human too emotional, and I don't have time to waste on that shit.

The summons

2012-01-03T22:15:00.000-08:00

(Toxian Timeline)

Jules called me to that city, the city that I mostly avoid now. Not even my monthly visits are worthy of that place, yet my family and friends are those that I left behind. Since they can't leave that island like I can.

Jules called me.

And I went.

My last visit had pulled me there to see Kytara and Fraz, I was happy to see them I really was it had been three years. We caught up on a lot of stuff that, old times that we all still shared. Today I couldn't find Jules at all at least not for a good several hours, in the meantime I pre-occupied myself watching two of my brothers mouth off at eachother. Skyler and Asher I never thought that two egos in the same place would be back, Lee a demoness I had met with Kytara and Fraz had a hard time stopping the fighting.

Skyler and me had a small disagreement about the Shadows, how the old is gone its time to start with the new. He didn't love Pieter like I did like I had used to and yes he left with us but he wants to return, I stand by my decision and by knowing I can't abide by false ones on the throne like Skyler can. Course when the current holder of the throne showed up I left, I could feel my brother Dracon near by. Jules was with me by then we caught up with both Dracon and Monk, I would have liked to go check up some of my other friends but its a matter of catching them around.

However I got distracted by a neko boy that decided to get too close, I had him flattened on his back and two fingers removed off him in almost no time at all. What? I was hungry! I told Dracon I could come back if he called for me, that would be the only reason why I'd visit at all. Fuck it even that traitorous Magpie could call for me if he wanted, I would proberly punch him in the face for the effort. Yeah friends and family can call me, if I'm there I've got a reputation to keep up. Simply put I'm free, the old values are gone. I'm not sticking around to make new ones, where's the worth in that?

Lulz of the day:

[21:29] Oliviana Firelight offers her some brown sauce with her meal
[21:32] Blueray Darkes: YOU MONSTER
[21:32] Oliviana Firelight: HAHAHAHA
[21:32] Oliviana Firelight dies laughing

The era shall continue, Legends never die they evolve

2011-10-29T09:05:00.000-07:00

(Toxian timeline)

It fascinates me to know even new residents have heard of me, I've always wondered why has no one heard of the others. Pieter has always been a legend in his own right, the one who fought and was never beaten. Guardian of the Shadows til he became the Lord, always working to cause fear and chaos. Not only my dearest friend and a few times my lover, but also one of my many teachers on how to tread the path of darkness. If anyone needed to thank anyone for me being such a terror, its Miriam for sending me to the Pack, the Pack for trying to break me, and the Shadows for making me what I am.

I'm sure that Janvier my father has been heard of as he had returned to the throne at one point, he didn't stay long in order to re-establish the Shadows as a force to be reckoned. Janvier is a legend as the dark Lord he who rose the Shadows twice, made them feared, made them strong, made me a demon. Just his mere presence sent people shrinking back in fear.

Jason the guy who can shoot you in the nipple from twenty feet away, who had such dastardly plans that took weeks to come to fruitation. Not only had he enjoyed playing them all for saps, but he made the entire populace terrified. The only known Shadow who was able to stand up to Rau toe to toe, for she is a fearsome fighter and gives no quarter as is Jason.

Dante who's gone missing was another fearsome warrior, he became Guardian when Pieter became Lord and I became Perceptor equal in rank to Dante. He knew battle tactics from every standpoint, he never lost a fight and us together pulled off one of the best Shadow rescues for one of our own ever.

No these people aren't mentioned.

I'm the only name that passes people's lips, the only name whispered in the dark, the only name that is spat with venom. Why should I alone take all the credit? Not that I mind I'll let you know, but there are other ex Shadows who deserve just as much vocal time as me.

Once more I visit the city on its island after two months of skipping, since I'm still pissed off at Magpie for what he did. The betrayal as that's what it feels like to me still stung pretty badly, rather than go to the church to seek him out I took to the bar instead. I found an interesting vampire who I spoke to with a while, he started to talking to me because he said I acted like I owned the place. I told him I been here before a long time ago, we dicussed the cunning of demons and how its good to let go. Going on to say how I ended up as an angel, dispising myself for this body I was now in and most of all about nothing at all. This vampire said he had heard of my name and the tales that surround it, he expected me to be a terrifying Shadow lord not some badass angel. I preened at that, had to admit the pride I had as a demon and a Shadow are still with me. Appearence may change but I never will.

Before leaving I asked him to tell Magpie I want my book back, and to tell who ever it is telling people he called Magpie; Magpie first, to stop taking my credit. Came out that it was Reaver and that guy knows better than to take my credit. Fucker!

Lulz of the day:

[10:13] Nibblit: I have two :o They are two male Meeroo's who are in love with each other, because the evil lampost across the Kingdom of Nibblits Room demands everyone be the same as Father Clock-on-the-wall.
[10:15] Nibblit: The king slaughters chickens for their love of lesbi-dom. They call theirselves GUICCI - Gay Understanding for Intrepid Chickens Chosen Into... Lesbianism..

Another OOC post

2011-10-10T04:11:00.000-07:00

http://ruthbell28.blogspot.com/2011/10/illness.html - another update on my health and other things.

http://araluiniel.blogspot.com/ - The journal of Ara Luiniel, she's a dracolich in Realm of Mystara.

OOC post

2011-09-10T17:38:00.001-07:00

http://ruthbell28.blogspot.com/

Dj booth

2011-09-09T08:38:00.000-07:00

(CoLA timeline)

You ever been inside a dj booth?

Some of those are pretty roomy well roomy enough, I remember the one at K-Tox was located at the top floor of the radio tower. This one though for KCLA is located inside the Zodiac, its got enough space to fit about six people inside if you want. I for one have a love of getting in to this dj booths, not only for doing my own thing but well hehehe...

Lets just say Xan and me were up to no good in that damn thing, man I haven't had this much fun in a long while. He had been sleeping what felt like centuries for me so I'm more than happy to entertain him, and get what I need out of him too. I love him so.

I think that booth smells like sex now, ya know I'm so damn glad music drowns out what you're doing in there.

Lulz of the day:

[23:37:19] JesSICKa: Not enough b-b-b-bitches in here!
[23:38:13] Blueray Darkes: Ppppfffffttttt
[23:38:52] JesSICKa: I spy one!
[23:40:10] Blueray Darkes: D:
[23:40:21] JesSICKa: She's a gud one though
[23:41:10] Blueray Darkes: :O
[23:41:56] JesSICKa: ;3
[23:42:56] JesSICKa: That, and the only one to resist Jessi's swagger
[23:43:22] Blueray Darkes nodnods
[23:43:42] JesSICKa shakes fist
[23:43:47] JesSICKa: How dare ye
[23:43:59] Blueray Darkes sticks her tongue out
[23:44:08] Blueray Darkes: I'm just harder to penertrate
[23:44:40] JesSICKa: OH COME ON
[23:44:48] JesSICKa: Don't you start getting all sexualized now xD
[23:45:41] Blueray Darkes: You walked in to that one
[23:46:48] JesSICKa: I'll walk into your cooter next
[23:47:06] Blueray Darkes: If it was that wide I'd have a revolving door fitted
[23:47:55] JesSICKa: Mmh, be sure to add a cripple button too.
[23:51:16] Blueray Darkes: And a disabled ramp?
[23:51:25] JesSICKa: Might be a good idea.
[23:51:28] Blueray Darkes: Lol

Xan awakes

2011-08-25T16:14:00.000-07:00

I barely have anything of importance to write, my husband awoke a few days ago. And today we re-consimated our marriage as only two hearts could, it was a glorious and loving time and I couldn't be happier. What more could an zombie demon wish for? I got a sisterdaughterwife, a loving husband, a wonderfully sick family, and the prime cut from every walking piece of meat. Hell I even have a piece of meat I can drag to me anytime and take chunks out of, and the damn thing screams everytime just to please me.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going back to bed, I have a lot of "catching up" to do.

Lolz of the day:

[10:07] Goa The Sin: heya blue blue how are ya?
[10:07] Blueray Darkes: I'm good
[10:07] Goa The Sin: glad to hear, rpin'?
[10:07] Blueray Darkes: Dking
[10:08] Blueray Darkes: Sjin
[10:08] Blueray Darkes: DJING
[10:08] Goa The Sin: lol you toss those barrels like a champ!
[10:13] Blueray Darkes: Lol
[10:16] Blueray Darkes stands on top of some construction made of metal girders, and tosses barrels so they roll down the slopes
[10:17] Goa The Sin: *starts to make his way to the ladder and already loses all 3 lives on the first level on the bottom girder, that's how bad he is at that game*
[10:17] Blueray Darkes laughs and roars like a champ

Divergence

2011-08-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

(This entry will inform you how one timeline became two creating a time paradox, and the differences that there are. The main timeline is Blueray Darkes who had left the House of Shadows, left Toxian City, and became a resident in City of Lost Angels even becoming a member of Archaic Redemption. Picket is a demon and the daughter of Blueray, before Blueray herself became a demon zombie hybrid. Her husband Xan is a zombie made of demon flesh and blood, making him a hybrid but also Blueray's creation.

The second time line is Blueray Darkes who had left the Archaic Redemption and the City of Lost Angels, she had taken to wandering the many lands with no ties to her loyality. Yet one fated trip back to visit friends and family in Toxian City got her killed, in turn she got redeemed the demon essence being purified. The last daughter of Janiver is no more yet her personality remains, Picket is a vampire and her husband Xan is a full fledged demon. Blueray is an angel.)

Denenthorn ah dear uncle Denenthorn the Magpie and the Stormbringer, yeah well I wanted to go to the island. Visit some of the friends that are still Shadows but Drake never seems to be around when I arrive, and I have had seen very little of those I know still in the House. Perhpas the missing Pit has something to do it that until it comes out of limbo, the Shadows will never seem to appear at all. So what do I do? I go making my way over to the church, bumping in to Savannah talking to some guy one of those many new faces.

I spoke to her a little bit before sending her to go find Magpie so I can say hi, I know he said he'd kill me but like I was going to listen because he hadn't been able to follow through. I never expected him to hit me full on with a holy based attack, getting blasted off my feet right on to my ass and that hurt. Of course I hadn't fed before visiting so my energies were low, as many battles I have won I have lost just as many. The battle was powerful with one side striving to win to keep being as she is, the other side striving to win in order to do what he didn't want to do. Hell I'm a young demon and have always known my energies run out quicker than older beings, I also know I shouldn't fight angels as they tend to hurt me more than other races. We both shifted forms me because I had to, him because I think it benefited him in the end. If he had stayed in his usual form I would have kicked his arse, just saying.

You ever been just a heart? I have at least twice and now a third time, cos he pulled it out of my chest then destroyed my body. That body wasn't mine it was some hapless lycan Stein put me in to, technically the heart isn't mine either at least not originally. I tore that organ out of some demon I beat down, if you want specifics that's my second heart. My first one having been pierced by Delrith's sword and then half of it fused with half of his heart, when I got the new demon heart to hold my new demonic essence my old one was ripped out. Nothing about me is original anymore except my essence and my personality, yeah just because the outside changes doesn't mean I'm gonna change who I am. Fuck you lot!

I'm not quite sure what happened one moment I was only sensing things waiting to be sent to Lucifer, to be in his cells for the rest of time being tortured for his delight because I stole from him. I had to get those Shadows back, three of them in total if I remember correctly. Not an easy job getting in to Hell or back out again, Magpie went in once to get Picket back. My demise never came instead if I could feel pain I'm sure I would have done, because the fucker was purifying my essence as he created a new body for me. No I aint his child I'm just purified...

Think it's understandable then that the first thing I did soon as I fully formed was that I punched him in the face, I hadn't realised when I took off that my shadow had spat up Dimentox's tome either. My mind was a mess, I been made in to something I was revolted by, so much so my own stomach agreed with me and made me retch. I had nothing in the damn thing so I just dry heaved for hours on end, til eventually my body thought that was pretty stupid, fuck you, live with it. All in all a terrible day... And to top it off at least my wings were dark grey instead of white, it means I'm not a do gooder type of bird and I will never be one. I got no conscience at all, its been proven I can smack angels about. Or maybe that's just the not innocent ones... Either way I get to carry on what I was doing before, only now I disgusted myself in this form.

Thursday 25th August 2042:

Picket had decided to drag us back to Toxia as she wanted to look around, like me she complained about the change of layout. There was a small group of us myself, Picket, Xan and Kaine, we didn't do much at all apart from talk to a few people. Picket didn't even ask why I was an angel at all, I guess we both had changed races so often it didn't even matter anymore. I managed to find that one demon the Righteous had caught a month back, I was glad to find he was still around as I found him interesting. We sort of picked on the guy and then we all left, that will be that pretty much until the next month and then I have to speak with Magpie. I think I need to punch him some more.

Lulz of the day:

[12:59] Blueray 'Ara' Darkes then magically molests Jackie
[12:59] Rebelesk Frostbite paid you L$500 for Meeroo Nest ID #326974.
[12:59] Jackie Mondalimare: Rawr
[12:59] Blueray 'Ara' Darkes: Molesting Jackie got me money o.o

Spoken betrayal and the undone deed

2011-07-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

Hack, slash, cut, rip, tear, break, torture, take, dismember, rinse, repeat.
Hack, slash, cut, rip, tear, break, torture, take, dismember, rinse, repeat.
Hack, slash, cut, rip, tear, break, torture, take, dismember, rinse, repeat.

That's my life... My life in a nutshell that torture has become more of a chore than a pleasure, that those that are taken off the streets to be harvested no longer fear. The pain is momentary they can get healed, no matter what twisted things we inflict on them its never enough. Last one I got to maim was a vampire woman, I drilled a hole in to her spine. She screamed a lot I loved it, but as usual my joy was short lived. Then there was Mir a pet of the AR he used to be a Brood pet, but I see him more as food than a pet as pets are meant to die not live. I tore off his flesh and devoured it, he screamed for me only in order to please me.

I liked it!

I wish Xan would wake up, he's been in his coma too long.

Even with the recent wanting to eat some strange cream coloured cubes (tofu), cherry blossoms and urges to rape Lacey on the streets I seem to be okay. I also forgot to mention that I've started to whine like Bryan and stick close to Lacey when she's around, in the same notion though Bryan is acting like me and hating on everyone. In some way I'm amused.

As my monotone existance continues only broken up with the verbal fight with Alandriel, she called me fallen and a pet I told her to get out of the bar before I hurt her. I actually begin to question myself as I often do, but I know I'm perfect and that's all that matters. So what if things end and I'm left alone on the streets? Nothing new doesn't mean I'll complain about it like she did, waah waah I'm alone and I guess that's how its meant to be. Suck it up seriously. If there's no worthy places to be then being on your own is the best thing ever, I've always worked alone I do better that way.

I suppose my line of thinking is what took me to back to Toxia in as many weeks as I had left it, my last visit I had my sisterwife Picket in tow who had demanded we visit the shit hole. Looks like a lot of the old faces returned as if the outside world had given its all, and they had grown weary of it as I grow weary of it now. Yet my loyality keeps me working for the zombies, perhaps this is why Alandriel wishes my work will end soon. Its odd to say that the island changes as much as one changes the colour of their hair, there's no reason or rhyme to it it just does. First it expanded to allow the growing population to overspill in to new areas of the city, now it has once again deflated to the size it once was but the layout has changed completely. I blame magick for these occurances as there's no other explination, since I was now lost in the place that I used to know so well I stumbled in to the library.

Upon entering the scene was tense right from the start, Magpie was floating with skin as black as those of Belial kin. He had some sort of strange halo and was threatening the Illuminati with violence, something to do with someone attacking angels. Savannah was there too and I just had to go over and pester her despite the atmosphere, a feline showed up and ordered me to go outside if I was going to fight with the angels. Seeing Sav as an angel was a shock in itself, I had more on my mind with my own things and the fact Magpie had used my first name. Pisses me off I hate that name. Apparently there is some war going on between angels and demons which, in my own valid opinion is a pretty pointless war and about as usefull as a hole in your head. I know in the past that angels and demons had always have had their differences apart from fallen angels that is, they are pretty much the same attitude as demons and are easier to deal with... I digress; but anyway we've had our differences but there's never been a war. Conflict yes as we clashed since we're the embodiments of sins and they're meant to be all holy and shit which, again is pretty much codswallop because they're about as holy as a random porn magazine.

War though?

There's no need for a war or even an attempt to wipe out what can't be wiped out, for as long as humans sin they will never be innocent and demons will always exist. So this whole thing ties in with the fact Magpie has told me twice now he will save me or kill me, the change in him is a shock because he was once a lover of demons. He was also the one who told me I could rely on him and he was one of the few non Shadows I trusted, yet here he is standing in front of me saying he was going to toss that all aside for his stupid petty war that shouldn't exist. If I could feel the sting of betrayal anymore I suppose I would be offended, on the other hand he's been all words so far and hasn't a laid a finger on me. We've got three choices, redemption that I don't want or need because I'm happy as I am, killing me that will send me to Hell and in to the hands of Lucifer to be punished for stealing from him, or the last one to cease existing altogether.

We bantered for a while him threatening me and me just pointing out that he can't, I'm the past and the past of all old Toxians in this city. Why else would my name still be whispered as if I was the bogey man? Once a commotion began behind us I left the church, not without saying that if he ever took me down he could say he took down a legend. Hahaha there goes my ego again!

Lulz of the day:

[18:36] Blueray 'Ara' Darkes rumbles as she stalks about making as much noise as a herd of elephants, rampaging through several china shops. Yes she is that noisey.

[2011/07/23 20:46] Blueray 'Ara' Darkes walked non-chantently in to the library as if she had never left the city at all and all things are hers, though the lay out and the buildings had changed dramatically that disorientated her altogether. She needed a break from the monotone of cut this, cut that, hack this up life she gotten in to, but hey Magpie is stirring up trouble and Savannah who she wanted to grope mercilessly. Either way she made not a sound as her uncle was grumpy very grumpy as a matter of fact he was so grumpy he was making a herd of rampaging elephants in china shops look tame in comparision.

(Yeah I like the term rampaging elephants through china shops :P)

The Risen Monster

2011-05-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

My day finally arrived...

There was no fanfair or party for me but I didn't really expect one, Tempest was already hungry and nuts from being away for so long. I hadn't seen her in ages I hadn't I ran around her welcoming her home in my own way, today was my day the one I been waiting for to become more of a member of my family. As I became demon for Shadows I now become Risen for the AR, I could feel the insanity all around me from both Tempest and Elam.

Elam carved away my breast, to carve off my flesh, to snap each rib from its cage to get to my heart at her orders, my claws found his stomach while he cut in to me to tear out my one precious organ I sliced him open. Our blood spilled on the roads then Tempest was at my upper arm slashing her fangs up to my neck, my skin tearing easily at her advance the virus from her bite soaking in to me. Oh fuck so much blood the chaos among us, it was pleasurable I enjoyed it I did the scent of iron filling my sense of smell.

And then the burning hit...

Virus itself it doesn't like fire so my infernal heat was causing me pain as the virus imsimulated the body I possessed, a body I didn't realise til far too late was still very much alive. My fire was quenched with the severe cold burning through me, no longer would my fire be as hot as the fires of Hell but instead be colder than the coldest of places. So cold it burns. Parts of me rotted away leaving behind only the bones in its wake, my feet, my hands, my wings all were stripped of flesh as the infection progressed. My heart was placed back in to my chest and the darkness came and I knew I had died once more, or at least Dendra's body had finally died.

I saw Death once more!

"Misato it is you again, do you try to infuriate me with the amount of times you die"?

"No its not like that and you know it".

"Yet here you are in my domain once more, and I am still unable to take you to your final resting place". Death once again took me in its arms today it wanted to appear in its female guise of Kali, the darkness of dieing is never a bad thing I like my conversations with Death. "Misato you won't be here for much longer, I'm still waiting to take you when it is time for you".

"I don't know you make it sound like a bad thing", I grinned at her with that cocky smile I have. "I'm sure I'll see you again at the end of the world maybe, or possibly before that if you screw up and take me over coming early like last time".

Death rolled her eyes at me, "Mistakes happen we do not know when things will end, we are just commanded to go when it is time. The command we had that day had been falsified, we are not perfect as people make us out to be". She smiled back, "Goodbye Mistao, I'll be waiting".

"Goodbye? Already"?

I woke up with a clawing hunger in my stomach a hunger I hadn't felt since the Lunacy sickness, I was ravenous and the only person near me was Alandriel as Tempest and Elam had run off possibly effected by my blood. I had enough sense left in my mind to know I needed meat I heard enough of the Risen to know this, I shot up to run in to the streets to hunt down some food for my body wouldn't relent til I had fed. Hunting with ragged wounds and one breast upside down is a sight to see, if I intented to heal then food was the next thing on the agenda.

Lolz of the day:

[19:50] Blueray Darkes: I'm an undead zombie demon and you're totally staring at my tits
*Marv plays a gesture*
[19:50] Marv Whittaker: Ahh, sorry..I didn't hear you. I was staring at your breasts.

The weary

2011-05-07T16:37:00.000-07:00

I've been away...

Half the time I don't even recall where I've been or where I'm going, but the thing that stays with me is that I'm worn down and worn out. Sure a wedding was a great thing to break up the monotone of my current existance, that my time spent with my husband has also broken up my days in to a whirlwind of pure love and longing. An embracement of fullfillment I haven't had in such a long time, I digress from the topic at hand though I forget what it was I was meant to say.

What am I supposed to do?

Once more it seems that history repeats itself that while I idle away somewhere, my family seems to be doing even better without me. Elamyrath has been promoted to Obscurum a role I wanted for myself, Lacey and Jessicka have become Matriarchs. I wonder where I fit now when I'm being left behind, I'm running the Black market and doing my duties that I have currently abandoned in order to have a break. Such is the way things are even demons get tired, I happen to do so when I have worked myself to the point of being unable to carry on.

I will recover my energy, I will begin to work once again.

Just not right now!

Lolz of the day:

[17:26] Asher Blitz: hit wrong button can you tp me back?
[17:26] Asher Blitz: not sure how that happened
[17:26] Blueray Darkes: I tped you where now?
[17:26] Asher Blitz: gah
[17:26] Asher Blitz: !
[17:27] Asher Blitz: nvm
[17:27] Blueray Darkes: Hi to you too
[17:27] Asher Blitz: i apparently am a born again noob
[17:27] Blueray Darkes: Congratulations, here's your robe and bible
[17:28] Asher Blitz: thanks :P

[OOC: I've been out of CoLA for a couple of weeks now, ever since I almost had a third black out my head has been funny. Its been constant for one week then I had pills, now its on and off as if someone is playing with a switch in my head. Half the time I can't even concentrate on roleplaying, I have continued to try and find some outside the sim in other places. If I feel capable enough I will drop in to LA to roleplay, otherwise I'm not there and I'm on a break til I'm a hundred percent better. Thank you!]

Weddings and submissions

2011-04-23T15:27:00.000-07:00

I remember the first time I got married at least two years ago almost three, Picket simply said lets get married and that was that it became so. That woman I marvel at how she had the gall to even organise her own wedding, yet she did it simply because it had to be the best non mushy wedding ever.

We had gore!

A blood fountain, black satanic bible, roasted humans both on a spit fire and on the table, our priest was the one and only Dimentox self proclaimed ruler of Toxia. He even allowed us to use his castle for our honey moon, we were grateful and allowed him to see pictures of ourselves on every surface in that place. Why everyone got naked after the wedding still baffles me, our vows were the most unique ever. Such as vowing to cheat on one another, with as many people as we can. Hehe.

Time passes I love and lost but that is such as things should be, that fate is at times a cruel creature who dangles such pretty things only to snatch them away. I often thought that my love for my Lord could never be dampened or quenched, I had been most terribly wrong about that when I had gotten close to Xan. Xan that man I ate and re-built with my own body's flesh, Xan that zombie who showed me that love isn't just pain and sadness. Xan the one who always makes me smile who is by my side at all times, in person or in spirit for he lives in my heart that place I once had reserved he now fills. Xan he may not be romantic or a mush filled pile of puss, he shows me the greatest of affections in his own way. He knows my needs and wants without me even speaking them, then he is made from me so what better person to understand me.

Xan my love who makes me want for no other, who has my attention so completely my eyes do not wander.

Such is a demon's devotion once found and earned.

And because of all this Picket with no malice at all in her being for she had become my daughter, well those were strange circumstances of how my sister becomes my daughter but I digress. Picket decided that Xan and I should get married, without any need of him proposing for she had said so therefore it shall be. Once more Picket organised my entire wedding, I made it perfectly clear she would still be my wife. Can't get rid of me that easily I still love Picket as I have always loved her, we knew these things might happen eventually. While she got all things prepared I went around inviting friends old and new to the ceremony, even those from other factions I respect and tolerate yet wouldn't hesitate slicing a new hole if the opportunity arose.

Pieter my Lord also appeared to witness this event, my father couldn't make it so my step mother was there. When he got attached to that demoness whore I will never know, for the last time I saw her and Janvier together he was adamant she should go back to Hell and rot. Archaic Redemption and Shadows both my new family and my old one had come together, the wedding itself had a circus theme with performers dieing in grisly ways. Our priest this time was the lich Kaine McCallen, a being who had been missing for almost as long as we had been in Toxia up to the year we abandoned it and the time there after. In short three years. Our vows were dark, our rings pleasant, we made out at the alter then we dropped the entire congregation three thousand feet to end the ceremony altogether.

Best wedding ever.

Now I shall talk of submission a thing I had often come to clash with as demons do not submit, not in any fashion and to nobody at all for it means slavery. What I have come to realise is you don't have to be a slave in order to submit to someone, to submit is to put everything that you are in to someone else's hands. To let them have your body, your heart, your soul (if you have one) in to your lover's hands, for them to keep you all of you safe from harm to love and cherish you as only they can. No you don't have to be a slave to be forced in to this, you can do it willingly if that is your desire.

Don't you dare tell anyone or I will rip your tongue out from your head, I submit to the only man who has been deemed worthy enough for my submission. I am no slave, I am no servant. I simply trust him that much. And yes Picket might growl for all she is worth at this...

Xan Portal the man who tamed the wild creature who was untameable, it is he who has her heart and all that she is. He who laid claim upon her silently but had another demand he do it publicly, the one who sits to have a demonic beast rest her head upon his lap.

Unity at its finest...

Lulz of the day:

[10:12] Death Cookie: (Insert Random Cheery Greeting Here)
[10:13] Blueray Darkes: (Insert random response involving barbedwires and turtles)
[10:13] Death Cookie is stunned that Blueray was able to describe CoLA in a single random response!

What do they know?

2011-04-06T05:25:00.000-07:00

I turned my own wife in to a demon one of my own kind, til I had made her thus Janvier's bloodline had stopped at me. In this world I am no longer the last of my particular bloodtype, I can make others and that in itself makes me happy.

Though there are demons in this city I have come to live in, to them I am nothing more than a stupid thing and utterly worthless. To me they are nothing more than self pompous imps who have forgotten, that evil is more than what they are and goes beyond orgies and sucking on your own cock. I pride myself on being one of the few female demons who doesn't have meat swinging between her legs, also pride myself on being higher than a lowly Succubus and Incubus of which sort seems to populate the very corner where the demons live. It's no wonder that sex is so previlant among their members...

If I was an older demoness I might be able to stand against them to prove myself, but I've been one for three years almost four I think. So though I know I'm powerfull by right of heritage they are older by millions of years, they are also Hell born unlike myself and therefore they already know the things I should and can make me eat road. How I envy such power and age.

They mock me...

Back in Toxia there is a Pit that is built over the most wonderful volcano, in this Pit is a faction called House of Shadows and for two years I served it well even leading it at one point. Most of us were demons with a few creatures of a darker nature dwelling with us, we ruled by dealing out fear by attacking from the shadows by our deeds alone it made the locals hate us and fear us. We were terror we were fear we were evil we were Shadows... I wanted so badly to have the ability to rip all the LA demons apart for mocking that House, it used to be great so sad it has fallen in to such disrepute even on the island it resides in.

Now we come to the last of myself being mocked mostly by Michel, if his words were true that all demons are trapped in Hell... Then how come so many of them have managed to escape to the current plain we live on? If Lucifer oh uncle Lucifer was so decidely trapped down there, then how come the bible states he spoke to this Jesus in the desert? Even if I had done what Michel demanded of me none of them would even listen or even heed my requests, but would most likely resort to nothing but more laughing and calling me a fool. Do you really think I think its that easy?

I've done it! Everything I know and learned I've taught myself over the years after I was turned, I have created the ritual circle that not only combines blood, fire, demon runes and the points of the compass; but also two of the Sixteen words taught to me by the fallen Arch angel Soriel himself. I don't know what language these words are perhaps it is one used before time began, I had seen Soriel open a portal to the Cthulu that ended with one of them possessing one of the very last babies born in Toxia. Saying all the words together sends you to the Dream realm, its not the best place to go if you have a dysfunctional past... Going through these portals means I have to fight my way in, fight my way out and even sometimes fight the very person I'm trying to bring back. Its not easy... It is also a risk to myself since I leave my shell behind using it as an anchor, if I don't have enough people feeding me energy then I may end up trapped in Hell myself without even saving anyone.

The LA demons have done no favours for me, and I see no point in doing any for them at all. Besides they aren't my family and if they are so fucking great they can get their own tool back, I don't assist outsiders here and I certainly didn't back in my old home either. Fucking go rot all of you, you will never listen to me at all or learn from me. I will always be a traitor to our kind, because I want to eat chaos and I am a monster. I know my skills, powers and acomplishments mean nothing to anyone here other than the ones I live with, I will endure the mockery til I'm strong enough to smash all their stupid faces in to the sidewalk. Yet I know what I've done!

Have you ever felt like you're a sailor lost at sea? When you come to port it feels like home so you stay til you go out again, the next time you return it doesn't feel familar anymore so you wonder if this is home. So you go out again and the next time you come back that home feeling is there, and this is the place you belong to. I am losing that feeling of belonging, I sometimes feel I don't belong with the zombies and dead anymore than I don't belong with the demons. I'm that sailor lost at sea with no directions home.

*She then casts a spell of replication upon the journal page before tearing it out of her book, another spell of protection to stop it from becoming unreadable. The demoness digs a deep hole in the sand of the beach at SMD and buries it, so if anyone that finds it may see her own taunts and mockery to those around her. It will also replicate itself unless someone breaks the spell.*

Lulz of the day:

In skype:
Picket: Who's Tim Westwood?
Blueray: He's a white rapper
Xan: No he isn't he's a prick

OOC info: Doing this just to generate a small bit of roleplay, only those who are sensetive to demon magicks or very strong emotions can actually find this journal page. The emotion felt would be Hate. Also the page will disintergrate after four days, and the original will return to her journal.

Wet willy

2011-03-15T16:25:00.000-07:00

Reenie goaded me in to pranking Elam not that I need much goading in to anything, she increased the volume of some water and I manipulated it. Wrapping it around my adopted brother slowing the molucles in the liquid to make it solidify, I encased him inside a block of frozen ice until he woke up at least. At that point I decided to beign to let him go, soon as his head was free he began screaming he was going to kill us.

Well I aint one to run from a challenge or a decent fight, specially not among my own family members. I hadn't expected him to leap at him and knock me on to my back, I was expecting a punch to the face or something like that to be honest. Elam sucked on his finger then shoved it in to my ear yelling about a "Wet willy", now I've had a few lovers but what he did is certainly not a wet willy. It doesn't feel all that fun either actually it feels really weird, I guess this thing is a human concept... I never heard of one before.

My first wet willy... Fuck that shit aint even funny.

Lulz of the day:

Xan hands on hips: Super penis

Sooooooo. . .

2011-03-14T13:23:00.000-07:00

I guess it's time for some sort of an update in this journal, not that I have much to write right now. Days have dragged on in slow motion, with few oppurtunities to hurt something living. I have managed to mangle something that screams, also assist in cutting up a dead Hell dragon. I never thought I would see one ever considering my first sire had the heart of one, its that what can be seen in me as draconic traits.

I have had no time to sit down and ponder over the various pieces of information about demons I have received, Michel fitted in another piece of the puzzle. Not all demons in the Brood are just one sin, many of them are combination of sins but prefer one as their main. Like me... With things how they are thinking on such things hasn't been permitted, its sort of been shoved to the back of my mind til I can find some peace and quiet to dwell on it.

Recently we have had a new batch of recruits come in, some of them new altogether some of them I know from Toxia and glad to have around. These newlings will need to be whipped in to shape, I'm certain will be able to do that pretty soon and do a good job.

Necroville currenly has a king of liches living in our well, I never mess around with liches let along a king of them. If our leader Tempest has knelt to it in honour and respect, I suppose I better do the same if I ever see it. We are to make sacrifices to it in order to gain beneficial things, and I suppose to feed it too since it must be hungry. Anything for power right?

Lolz of the day:

[22:14] ℰℓąო nods at that and said casually "Oh, hey....well let me convey my apologies for that. We over here at the Chop Shop take pride in our maiming, and for you to not be maimed properly is just...it's just not right. So, what i'm gonna do for you here is I'm going to give you the maiming of your life, so you can see how we've improved, sound good?" he said almost too calmly.

Its the things I don't know...

2011-01-24T17:06:00.000-08:00

Yeah its the things I don't know that get to me, like when Domino says demons make the most sinfully delicious human type food. Or when Omen says a Lord will help siphon off my madness and keep it under control, to be told that there is a way to be under one of the Seven without following.

Omen and I we're both related to Belial not as followers but as spawn, though Omen is older than I and perhaps a son of Belial one that both my uncle and father don't know about. Though it doesn't surprise me that the bastard would have spawned more than two sons, as Belial like his son Janvier are hornballs specially if they get whiskey down their necks. I'm no exception either its why I try not to drink...

A few days ago one of our new Risen had shown up again, Sky Foehammer. I offered him a chance to see some things no one else gets to see, he accepted it since he was curious and I bid him to drink my blood. We spoke for a while on the street about what has been going on, who joined who left afterwards he suggested we go for a drink unless I wasn't interested in hanging out. I accepted the offer we went to the bar, getting our drinks to then sit at a table to talk of other things.

I got no idea why I opened up to Sky perhaps because I knew he wouldn't tell anyone, or that he is rarely around so would be unable to tell no one of my current concerns. I suppose in some small way he reminded me of Skyler, who had dropped in once for two weeks now to pester me while I dj for KCLA. I needed to talk... I needed Skyler to re-inforce to me that my decisions were just, that I shouldn't doubt myself. Skyler wasn't there and neither is Pieter, the two men in my life I had often turned to for advice were no longer a constant. One who tells me to return to the Pit, the other long since vanished. Its a hard thing to swallow when I'm so used to relying on them, over the last year I have had to rely on myself to tell myself I'm doing fine. In truth I am except when things shift and change, to throw me curveballs that cause me to stumble and then second guess myself.

So here I am in the Zodiac with an atmosphere similar to the Haven, strange that this place is actually two years behind the island I left. I poured out every word I could of everything that I been told by Omen to me, he saw the scarring on my right arm demanding to know who hurt me. I told him it was Omen he done it months ago after we fought, he healed my injuries when I wouldn't back down and submit to his collar but he left me that scar. I have only dealt with Hell ice once that was when I had to get Tom back, he was an ice demon who had lost his shell he ruled over the ice level in Hell itself. I never fought Hell Ice I never seen ice that doesn't melt when thrown against Hell fire, it was a vicious fight caused by Omen not understanding that my true form was a sign of hunger not of war. However I relished that fight the violence, I had wanted to be fucked by him so bad back then for I was miserable with my marionette. Alone, unwanted, miserable. That blasted thing only showed up when I was at the end of my tether with dire need, I had nothing else to releive myself with other than my scaled tail.

How things change... I'm happy now!

Sky didn't care that it was months ago he was furious I got hurt at all, I had Shadows who were like that with me back in the day. Now I got AR who are like that now, it still amazes me how I can install such respect and fury when I'm defeated or injured. I don't like a lot of people though I despise them, my family however I will protect and adore perhaps this is why. I heal though I always heal, that is the one thing they forget. Part of the heritage blood that heals, blood that causes others to see the other plain, blood that makes the mind weak that can cause easy possession or some form of insanity. What strange and wonderous blood. Eventually Sky ran out the bar with full moon so close ad his Risen temper, I think it was best he did that. I won't have him starting a war with Brood for something that was already sorted, some people are just hot heads at the end of the day.

The question that now hangs between him and me is "Do I want to learn"? The thing I can't figure out is what is it that I want to learn of my own kind, that I haven't already learned from Pieter and Kishi or by observing the other demons? A lot of the antics they get up to are common, base and crude. Rarely have I seen a Brood demon tear another apart though I have witnessed once, I was happy to see it for finally I thought they were being demons. It was shortlived. Far too many demons deal in Lust while other sins are overlooked, it has gotten to the point where people assume I am a Succubus therefore I must deal in Lust first and primary that means I fuck.

These people are so very wrong, that their assumptions make me sick.

I'm a royal blood, high demon, my main sin is Pride the second is Wrath. The last and final one is Lust, I save that for my mate and my sisterwife. Even if I wasn't mated I would be saving such things for those I deemed worthy of it, to be fucking honest not a lot of people in LA are worthy of my last sin.

Lulz of the day:

[14:22] Mac Gaelyth: i see 'Blueray Darkes' and i think 'craaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy bluedemon lady.'

I do not know

2011-01-13T15:54:00.000-08:00

Working class demon... A demon demands all working class demons are given more imps, riches and freedom, I sort of laugh at that kind of thing as I am neither working class or restricted by such servitude. Unlike my brethen I retained freedom a royal blood descended, perhaps my decision not to abide by the Seven has left me more alienated than I thought.

I'm also extremely unique I know that, there is no demon that is just like me. I am being told so many things, its started tugging at me yet still I refuse to listen. Stubborn I dig in my heels in once more unease settles in, I begin to feel out of place. It will pass...

Lulz of the day:

[15:09] Mac Gaelyth: oh dear god
[15:09] Mac Gaelyth: my typo made a new word that's perfect for cola
[15:10] Mac Gaelyth: Extrapeolating.
~~~~
[17:39] Xombie Khaos: If Blue committed a crim and left behind a ton of evidence would we have to label them as Blue's Clues?
[17:39] Xombie Khaos: crime*
[17:39] Cat Helse: ...yes
[17:39] Maiel Edenflower: well then...just let me get my Handy Dandy Note-book!
[17:40] Cat Helse: And we'd have to sit down on our thinking chair and think.
[17:42] Blueray Darkes stabs youall
[17:43] Xombie Khaos is stabbed. It's hawwt.
[17:43] Rhaeon Thor loves it
[17:43] Cat Helse: Do it againnn
[17:43] Blueray Darkes stabs you all again, "Now Picket is singing the think song"
[17:44] Maiel Edenflower is stabbed and keeps talking. "so what would Blue wanna do with a knife, blood and a list of all our names. *pauses* That's it! Murder!"
[17:45] Xombie Khaos: Let's all sing about murder, kids!

Its that holiday cheer

2010-12-23T20:57:00.000-08:00

With the ritual of trying to get rid of my shadow's sentience going wrong and backfiring, I spent a week flat against walls and grounds watching my shadow in my place. Course the damn thing didn't care about the goings on inside the family, it complained about being expected to be an officer.

It had gotten in to conversation with an ice demon who is called Omen and a follower of grandfather Belial, I was annoyed because Omen believes I should be nestled in the arms of the Brood. Saying there is call inside me that I refuse to listen to, but with a Lord's guidence my madness and violence can be siphoned off can be controlled. The talk rolled on to the fact I didn't need to serve a Lord in order to respect them, my temper got the better of me for there is nothing that Belial has done for me other than drop us like a hot potato. When I say us I mean myfather that also includes myself, I did take heed of some of the words for my lessons on demons had been few. Few and yet they had stuck with me even with my moving from the toxic dump to Lost Angels, never submit to never have a master for no demon has one. I do wander if there is a call deep inside me, if there is I will find a way to silence it. I do not mingle well with my own kind, yes I can speak with them when I'm calm but even then I can only stand so much time with them.

Far too different, but perhaps far too much the same?

To give me a break from being dis-placed we went to visit Toxian City, my visit as always short and to remind those I still call friend that I do still exist that I have not perished yet. Seeing those who are Shadows bow before the current Lord of the House and even use his title, sickens me to my very core that my tongue would start verbally lashing at them. Shadows do not bow or at least are not meant to, for respect can be shown without such submissive actions. It also reminds me of the Brood how every demon will submit to those who are ranked higher than them in their ranks, using titles and always asking for permission to leave their presence in much the same as the vampire Coven do. Disgusting. Once more I was asked to return to stop being the Shadows critic and instead be their sister, several of them murmered agreement to this but I refused as I always do. For those of us who left under Pieter's banner, most had returned to the Pit and I remain in LA with my family. Happy and mostly content. I can't visit the place that often for one I can't stomach it often and two I'm extremely busy, either dealing in body parts for the market or various other things connected to Archiac Redemption.

I never stay at the bottom.

I have retaken my place from my shadow I have been starving for a week, my form became its hunger form and I was unleashed upon the streets. Streets are empty I took to the outskirts of the city to hunt in greener areas, I found several animals to devour eating their bodies and their fear. This was after our own Tony (not Bouchard) fed me some meat from the freezer. I wanted to talk to Avian and Jessica ask them what they think demons do, ask about the demons they follow for I find myself now confused. Contracts are another thing that bother me completely, Brood demons are always making contracts rather than doing things on their own accord. I asked an imp once why he needed a contract in order to guard a door, why couldn't he just do it by himself without being told? The imp had no answer.

Chaos requires no contracts and neither does loyality... I won't let Omen convince me to leave my family and join his, I refuse to be among the common Succubus and Incubus with their puffed up and self proclaimed titles. As a royal blood even though I was made in to a demon, by heritage and right alone I'm higher than them. Strange how I was meant to be lower but a turn in events proved to be in my favour, father didn't want competation but I have a better grasp on most of my powers than he does now. Simply because I learn, I like to learn.

Well the human holiday of Christmas is upon us again, ugh the good will to all men is a horrible and disgusting concept. I hate I mean I really hate Christmas I hate the way everyone is so happy, or they want to be nice and helpful it's sick it's gross. People need to stop spreading their cheer and their goodwill around, go take it and shove it up their ass its a humanity ridden and terrible thing. Give me Halloween any day of the year but Christmas... Christmas needs to fucking burn and cease to exist, I swear I will fucking kill anyone who wishes me a merry christmas. FUCK OFF! Stupid fucking humans and their stupid holidays, hey that doesn't stop us making horror scenes with snowmen and decorating a tree with intestines.

I would like to spend some of the holiday with Picket...

Lulz of the day:

[16:29] Blueray Darkes: [My first came on that 64 was Hangman and astronaut]
[16:30] Blueray Darkes: [game*]

When Wormwood passed over

2010-11-26T18:51:00.000-08:00

[I never had time or the inspiration to write this for the CoLA contest when it was up, so now I'm just writing it here]

You want to know what I was doing when Wormwood passed over? I don't even remember what year it was, actually to be honest I never kept track of years... I had no need for such things as years, weeks, days or even hours, every day was the same a hardship to keep on living. Humans make me laugh sometimes they are so terrified of dieing, always scared of the unknown and petrified of me. I was one of the few lycans that showed themselves on a regular basis long before Wormwood, I was no longer human I didn't want to stay looking human. I was no longer weak as they are, I was better than they were.

London at least I think that was what people called the city, a pretty prosperious place if you got a job, money and a car. If you were like me a homeless streetrat iking out a living, it was nothing more than one giant trashcan. Its a filthy city from its very bowels to the surface those humans walked on, disgusting filled to the brim with humans who took everything for granted. Wasted their lives, their food and killed themselves slowly or quickly. I never cared for them I took what I could from them in anyway possible, hey I had to survive somehow ya know.

Night is a time I can be found hunting either for those rodents that scurry through the alleyways, or searching for scraps in the trash cans and skips. I hadn't gotten the taste for human meat yet I wasn't that bad back then, I had murdered a gang but it was self defence you can't blame me for that. After getting food I then pad along walls and fences with tail wagging behind me, mostly searching for my missing twin who had abandoned me since the werewolf attack on us that changed me and I guess him too. My ears pricked forwards before swivling as I got that sense something was terribly wrong, that was when this huge orange and blue tailed comet thing streaked through the night sky. It lit up everything on its way blazing like that, something still wasn't right something was horribly wrong. I remember tensing up listening to the sudden hush that had fallen over the entire city, it wasn't long before I heard rushing water.

The river Thames had swelled in to what appeared to be a raging ocean, bursting its banks flooding every street and alley. People drowned in their beds they didn't stand a chance, those that didn't drown were crushed when buildings fell on top of them. Yeah I remember seeing a lot of London falling apart the ground cracking, all those things you never thought could exist turned out to be real. Well I suppose considering I was a lycan I shouldn't have been so disbeliving, but you never really stop to think what if vampires are real. I knew demons and anthro felines were one of them was my pet I saved from the train wrack, I ran hard that night back to where we slept together when I wasn't hunting. Luckily he took to the rooftops as I had, I found him safe and sound I was fucking relieved. Disater after disater struck the cesspool, humans running scared all over the place being hunted by demon and vampire alike. Hellfire scroching bodies souls being stolen, blood drained from people. I gulped I didn't really like demons not since one killed my parents, I couldn't help but watch the chaos unfolding.

On that night I decided I wanted to be stronger than a lycan, I wanted to become a demon I wanted that power. With the streets heaving with the dead and dieing, Ashura and myself made our way to anywhere that was still relativily untouched. Course it was another few years after that before I got the ferry to Toxia... Yeah I saw Hell open up to spew forth its denizons that night...

Wormwood...

I want it!

Lulz of the day:

[17:44] Blueray Darkes is now getting a blowjob on her tail...
[17:44] Jessica Susser: just don't spooge from it. I seriously had someone do that.))
[17:44] Blueray Darkes: [wtf]
[17:45] Jessica Susser: leonora had an orgasm from Jess sucking on her tail one day))
[17:45] Blueray Darkes: [right...]
[17:45] Jessica Susser: yeah :/ it was odd)
[17:46] BG Quicksand raises an eyebrow, 'Demon essence orgasms? what are those for?'
[17:46] BG Quicksand: err, *stones
[17:46] Blueray Darkes: [Now look what you done]
[17:46] Jessica Susser: freudulan slip))
[17:46] BG Quicksand: ((too many details, yeah))
[17:46] Blueray Darkes: [I loled]

Xan Portal

2010-11-16T08:47:00.000-08:00

I met him as part of the family I had joined, that strange mask covered his face. One of many zombies, one of the Archaic Redemption. I suppose I never noticed him much, he was sort of always there in the background. Til the day he got burned his mask welded to his face, I used my blood on him and as predicted he went mad. After three days he returned to me asking me for more, he had met a demon on the other plain and spoke to him. Xan wanted to see him again but the only way was my blood.

Then the lunacy came...

The disease of hunger and insanity hit hard, not only did I fight Stein but I devoured Xan. I left his skeleton to let it wander the city, til a cure had been found, made and given. At that point he was just a skull, so began my task of re-making Xan. He took my blood and ate my flesh to re-build his body, I had made something unique a being who is a part of me.

Demonic qualities in an undead showed unexpected results, a legion of demons used Xan as a gateway and possessed him. I removed them then sealed him so he could not be used again. So time moves on Xan provided me with a meal of lust, since then desires for Stein and my Lord have been pushed aside. For now I want for no other, he is mine and I am his. I wonder if this is how Picket felt when she was with Magpie...

Lets dance together in the darkness my love, we'll make chaos among the masses!

Lulz of the day:

[11:36] Beauty Batriani pictures Mac dressed like William Wallace from Braveheart, with the makeup, sitting at his computer.
[11:36] Mac Gaelyth: ((you can take my life, but you can never take my broadband.))

Quiet days

2010-11-02T17:48:00.000-07:00

As the days get shorter and the nights longer, it appears to be quieter around the city. Halloween has passed and gone, I did enjoy a few parties including a wedding. Pack weddings I think are stamped as being dysfuntional, the first one I had atteneded certainly was. I think wolves should not do things the traditional human way, they should perhaps stick to their own ways might go better.

A lot of ghosts came to the city before Halloween, some of the Brood opened up a portal to let in the Wild hunt. They rounded up the ghosts but have stayed themselves, now some of us are feeling the allure to join the upcoming hunt. I look forward to the chaos to be honest.

A few weeks ago I unbound my puppet since I have found someone, who makes me wish for no other that he even pushes my feelings for my human and my lord away from me. All I want is him, no one else will do and all temptation for now has fled.

Lulz of the day:

[16:38] Makalia Firethorn: Most people do it discretly but this Vendor just HAD to shout it
[16:39] Aeon Zero: lol
[16:39] Aeon Zero: yeah
[16:39] Blueray Darkes: Public humilation
[16:39] Makalia Firethorn: Wonderful thing.
[16:39] Blueray Darkes: YOU BOUGHT A PENIS LETS TELL EVERYONE!!!
[16:39] Aeon Zero: yay!
[16:39] Aeon Zero shouts: i Also bought 3 cans of epic soup today
[16:39] Makalia Firethorn: Woot
[16:39] Blueray Darkes: It should yell, "CONGRATULATIONS NOW YOU CAN HAVE PIXEL SEX WITHOUT BEING A KENDOLL"!
[16:40] Aeon Zero: XD!!!

The law

2010-09-25T10:45:00.000-07:00

When I joined the House of Shadows there was two laws we learned, the first was family before all others. Second law was bleed for the House, die for the House. I was a lycan back then and three of my sisters wanted a little fun, they captured Delrith who at the time was my lover. That was the day I got in to breaking bones, we chained him to the Pit floor. I broke every bone in his body while my sisters did vile things to him, Ava actually fed him a half rotted fetus. Should I have whined and told them no? Should I have sat back and cried? No! I followed the law the family came first, and I will be redeemed if I didn't join in. I enjoyed hurting him.

My uncle Magpie or Denenthorn an angel with one wing of black and one wing of white, he had crossed a Shadow so I went and exacted revenge. Beat him threw him down the stairs, while he asked me to kill him I refused. Grr a were coyote yes I might have trusted him, that never held me back when I got ordered to hurt Omegans. I betrayed my spirit sister Joah, refusing her access to the Pit when she requested it. I was simply backing up my superior.

Bato also known as Cinn a friend of mine I have clashed with, fought him and tortured him on at least two seperate occasions. Hahahaha no no one was safe from the double edged blade of knowing me.

Now I'm Archaic Redemption the law is simple and the same as one I followed before, family before all others. I follow it as I have done before to the letter, everyone be they friend, blood relative, adopted relative, my own spawn, they have no protection as I once threw said people to the Shadows I now throw them to the Archaics. My sisterwife Picket was skinned in front of my eyes by Ishiko, Picket was not in our family and I stood watching it happen. Sure one of them won't believe me but there is no evidence that I guard non AR, if the family wants these beings then the family shall have them.

Go ahead little one find one of them, bring them to the warehouse. I will show you my calliousness, I will show you who I am and what I am. I will tear them apart myself, I will let you do what you want with them. I am not ruled by my heart there is no clouded judgement or trying to protect, there is only the family they come first in all things. Everyone else regardless of their ties regardless of what they are, are expendable, inferior and food. Have fun won't you?

Lulz of the day:

[13:27] Elamyrath Bracken stands....and stands well
[13:28] Blueray Darkes goes to shove him, and make sure she aims his face for the DIRT!
[13:29] Elamyrath Bracken dies....game....over
[13:29] Blueray Darkes shakes her head at the lameness of her brother, he used to be awesome so awesome that it froze your panties to your cooch.
[13:30] Elamyrath Bracken lost his awesome when he ate that twinkie that one time

Hide away...

2010-09-09T16:30:00.000-07:00

There are times that even I as a not very people demoness, have to secret myself further away from people. When the rooftops no longer prove safe and I wish to get away, I simply vanish from the places where I am usually seen. Even then all accounts of seeing me are null and void, for if they look they will not find me at all not even in my haunting grounds.

The essence of being alone is something not many enjoy, I happen to have grown used to it even come to love it. I am alone in every sense of the word for I am the last of Janvier's daughters to remain a demon, and I have only one descendant whose birth is odder than anything I've ever heard before. My daughter is a halfbreed since I never knew of her existance til she found me, I had been blissfully unaware of her mysterious birth and upbringing.

I think my current need to be away from everyone is due to the fact, I can't seem to get a minute to myself or having to suffer the amorious advances of the male population. My mate has left me almost constantly alone, I grow weary of waiting and grow even wearier of fighting off these whores.

When will they learn I am not a Succubus?!

Such are the tribulations and trials of a High demon, that no matter how many of them you slaughter they deem it to be foreplay. Seriously I been having such issues since long before I entered LA, at least some of them in the toxic dump got the idea and backed off.

I want to be alone right now...

Yes I know I'm shirking my duties, but the way I feel right now. I wouldn't get anything done anyway.

Quote of the day:

Dancing in the madness, living among the dead. Risen are the zombies, filling you with dread.

Belong

2010-09-04T12:34:00.000-07:00

I took my usual once a month visit to the toxic dump near the end of August, in order to see old friends and old enemies once more quell any homesickness. To re-assert the fact that where I am now is my home, no matter how the new false one protests and begs I will not return for any length of time. For there is no Lord who will take the place of my own, unless my Lord personally installs his successor. Since that won't happen then anyone who sits on that Shadow throne, is nothing but a pretender with no true understanding of what it is to be a Lord. I can do a better job.

Before I left I tore up some hapless human who thought it was a good idea, to suggest lurid and sexual acts he can do to me. Being that I'm above a Succubus in every way and picky about who I bed, I showed him the error of his ways by shoving a beer tap in his groin. Felice tried to placate me for the sake of an old favour I didn't kill him, but informed her that in this place I had no such ties to hold me back. That if I am to be crossed by a Shadow and I attack them, I expect a Shadow to retaliate by following the one law that has been there since the foundation of the House. I said almost the exact same words before hand to Pilgrim who tried to appeal to my sense of family, that surely I would understand the loss of her son like the Shadows did. I scoffed that Shadows comforting an angel, I with no binds could care less.

Time moves on...

I've been busy as per usual in my officer role for the Archaics, we have a lot of hunts to do and chaos to spread. I rarely have I gotten a break specially since there have been attacks on us, or factions asking to be neutral and us denying them that right. We need to hunt. Over the last two weeks we were getting Lacey ready to become a Risen chosen by Tempest herself to replace Kaz, the week after that we were swamped with Sins from some strnage creatures. I have to say I had a good fight with Stein I did some serious damage to him, the bastard was lucky he caught me after an extremely large meal and I was sluggish to move in any rapid way.

Friday of this week I took a walk with Hamlet, he is concerned he has no place to belong or someone to belong to. Such matters never really bothered me for I know my place, and my puppet belongs to me though he is rarely around thus I am neglected in every sense. Seems to be a regular occurance with me. I either have to wait for months on end for someone to be in the mood (or even want me), or my mate is never around to satisfy my needs. Oh there are plenty of people to choose from don't get me wrong, that whole picky thing means I aint interested in a lot of those who try to get in my pants... Morons! Honestly I couldn't tell Hamlet what he wanted to hear or know, concerns of such a nature don't bother me. Besides whatever that had been in my drink was making me terribly sick, I lost my composure as my body purged the poison via vomiting.

Even if I had no place could I ever find one? Will I truely find someone to belong to? I wish to belong to my human or to my Lord, such things are not to be. I also wonder since the disapperance of all those who left with my Lord where they are now, even my Lord and his wife have vanished I am left as usual upon this plain. Also due to this vanishing the soul stone that contains my sister wife Pickat has returned to me, unsure of what to do I simply keep it close to me to know that I once had a special someone to turn to when the world and men fail me.

Lulz of the day:

[14:54] Lucifrage Koray hearing the song starts to wiggle and dance, knowing the lyrics and beat off by heart now, there was death, there was decay, and then there was 80's pop, and all was evil ...

Update of events

2010-08-10T10:50:00.000-07:00

After the tension became threatening to be almost overwhelming I left the confines of AR, for about two weeks I spent the time merely drifting. I either hid away inside my shadow or visited Toxia, to see old faces and those I would still call a friend. I took Tokii there to show her my legacy that I left behind there, the innocents still whisper my name in fear and the darker beings exhalted me in praise. I can never return for long periods or even permentally, once the burned bridges had been somewhat fixed I returned to LA and my family there. Since then thoughts of setting foot in the Toxic dump are a great distance from my mind.

Kytara the one I know arrived pretty much after I fallen in to my old role of officer, she informed me that her Lich self had been torn from her and was wandering about on her own. She was seeking this missing piece in hopes to be made whole, but the lich was doing her best to avoid Kytara at all costs. Eventually though the two were re-united.

Following on from that came an influx of power endowed to me, strange tattoos had appeared on various members of the public increasing our own powers and skills. Some of them were unhappy and wary, ever hungry for power I accepted it as it is and used it. However after a few days the toll upon me was evident, I hadn't needed to eat I always needed to move. Yet with this surge of power there came agony, a constant pain in my muscles and in my head, I even started to sweat soon even using my powers became an extertion on me. Some of the family tried to corner me to assertain why I was becoming sick, I put up a fight with minimal effort and escaped. All the while Stein simply watched as he neither cared or was concerned over my plight, sometimes just sometimes I wish he would see me more than as a specimen. I want to be what he called me once, a friend. When my condition got worse Tony which, is short for his full name Anthony had stepped in to converse with me, lost inside my own insanity to quell the constant pain even I couldn't endure I listened to him and almsot bent to his request of getting rid of the tattoo. He passed out and I slunk away only to be impaled by Jo the darkest being I ever did encounter, then ganged up on by the madman doctor who was on his own verge of insanity. Once my blood had sprayed over him from the spikes in my body he went crazy completely, a strange woman was nearby one who made Stein twitch with anxeity. Stein hacked my arm off with a scalpel (not before impaling him on earth spikes) and I woke the next day in his lab upon a slab, my bearly healed body sporting more cuts and a sense I been violated in the medical fashion. My arm was still missing. It took further coaxing from Tony for me to have the marking removed from my other arm when it appeared, soon as it was gone I felt myself return to normal or as normal as I can get. We found out it had been a parasite, for some reason I felt deprived of something great.

After that Tempest's father came to collect her, there was rumours of High demons coming to turn us against one another. Avian was one of them who had betrayed us and even murdered one of our own prospects, Kaz too who had always been somewhat rogue now openly declared her rebellion. I didn't spend too much time trying to help or figure this out, mostly because when I was awake I had no idea what way to turn. Most of the events happened when I was resting inside my shadow, when our leader had returned to us fully I severly punished Avian for her treason. I now call her Pinata.

Recently though a group of old people have shown up, they are extremely rude and crass with no sense of decency or morals. They no longer follow the normal set pattern of their own human society, they stink of insanity and chaos along with other things I would rather not smell.

Yesterday I finally caught up with the mad Thorne Demon called Murdoc, like myself he does not conform to normal demon society that resides in this city. I have two sins my primary is Pride as is my father and his father who is Belial along with my father's brother Vulcan, my secondary sin is Lust that is to be expected since one I am female and two it would fit due to my past torments I went through. My third is not original to me it comes from my Lord, the sin of Gluttony that causes me to feed even when I am not hungry. My main priority is Chaos for those of us from Belial's bloodline tend to be chaotic in nature and therefore we do not conform, even my uncle who is usually so calm in composure has a chaotic nature. I guess that is why Murdoc likes to be around me, he is born from madness itself and thus has more chaos than anyone. In a way that is why I like him, so mad so insane so much chaos. Anyway I ramble I found him yesterday writing on a wall his mask almost completely broken, I bid him to teach me the runes he alone knows so I can help him. I learned and it made my head hurt to do so, but that is a price I paid and will pass soon.

In the meantime I have also had Tokii make a request of me, Hiffaro or Hiffy has also requested to spend more time under my tutorlage for Red hands. I even have more to learn from Murdoc, and Caiaphas has been missing for a while. Skitzo is in our prison after he got tortured and flayed...

No rest for the wicked!

Lolz of the day:

Anthony Brownrigg: Don't poke the lens! There is millions of people in there and you're poking them, you're also poking three fingers back at yourself.

Tension rises

2010-07-07T08:03:00.000-07:00

After the fight between Stein and Caiaphas, things settled for a while. Yet the dust was kicked up again relativaly quickly, unable to withstand the growing coldness of Stein towards me... I did the only sensible thing I could forsee to do, I abandoned my family for his sake. Whether or not my puppet follows is up to him, I do not hold any power over him at all.

Unless things are settled I will wander the lands, missing in turn my old family, my new family and my human. Forever losing something is that what it means to be a demon? To never remain in one place too long or to hold on to something forever? I am always loosing something precious to me, though I claim no emotion I have an unending well of utter sorrow. Gain and loss a constant cycle, I'm immortal with the pains of a mortal.

I do nothing but tear at the world around me for my own satisfaction, to torment it and cull the numerous populations that inhabit it. When I want something for myself I end up with nothing, my wife is dead I retain her soul stone. My human who I adore has turned his back on me for the love I have for my puppet, I did not choose a lover over a friend the choice was made for me.

Ah dear undead if I can I will return for I have no where else to go to, perhaps I will visit my old home for a day or two. Or maybe I can find a way to leave this place altogether, destory myself and end my suffering. Leaving only my hate, rage and sadness to rain upon the land.

Lolz of the day:

Today there is no lulz... Instead I cried myself to sleep

Torn

2010-06-29T20:08:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in here a while, there is chaos and tension brewing. My human refuses to get along with my marionette, I do not care much if Stein wrecks the puppet. I have already warned said toy if he harms the human, I will make sure that he is dismantled personally by myself.

Charmed I may be perhaps, playing with simple toys perhaps. He never really did think better of me, he suffered my advances because there is no stopping me. Least he can go study now...

Lulz of the day:

Choppy choppy

Reprieve/Short story of flashbacks yay!

2010-05-30T18:59:00.000-07:00

Even monsters need breaks from the on-going chaos, slaughter and mayhem, I'm no exception that sometimes I crave nothing more than peace and quiet. I left without a word with those memories and flashbacks crowding in my head, the things remembered far too human for my own liking. I destroyed my own humanity, it still insists that it is there. Emotions...

Devotion
Loyality
Wrath
Envy
Pride
Hate
Love
Care
Affection

The last three don't really fit in with a demon, but such things happen and sometimes more regularly than the race allows you to think. I doubt I will be missed much in my departure, there are a few who I wish would miss me. That is like asking a mountain to get up and walk, it's just not going to happen no matter how much you wish it. Besides my head is full, full of things I don't want to recall.
~~~
London... over the years she had been away from this city, it hadn't really changed at all. The people were different there was more humans around than anything else, always moving and milling about like ants looking for food. It didn't seem to matter where she went in this world, the blue demoness always ended up in polluted air and walking on dirty streets. With an oof she shoved her left shoulder against a wall, leaning on it from the fact her weakened body couldn't hold her up. Dragging herself along on her clawed feet to find a dark place to hide away in, sound of spikes scraping on bricks a horrid screeching noise. Darkness always seeking darkness, for how long now had she sought to hide from light?

"Hhhnnn I don't want... don't want to remember"!!!! Grasping her clawed hands in to her hair, stumbling til she fell to her knees in a place she had lived since been five. A non descript alleyway with a dead end to help shield against weather, damn the place still had their makeshift tent they built together. Pathetic. She crawled in to it though curled up on the ground, her tail coiling about her ankles as she went in to the fetal position. Sleep... That sounded good right about now.
~~~
A male voice woke her from her slumber, "Misato, Misato wake up already! If we don't get a move on we won't get any food at all today, you've started to get really lazy".

There came a grunt of acknowledgement as the male's companion rolled over under the dirty blankets, followed by "Five more minutes" but it was hard to tell. When the tickling began she was wide awake and laughing, "Alright damn it! I'm up sheesh Partak, you sure know how to ruin a good sleep".

"Serves ya right", he responded sticking his tongue out. Partak is an albino though that has never really stopped him in life, he's kind, good natured and a little more mature than his twin sister. The twin in question is a slender well formed woman, her hair is what made her a freak its a dark blue to match her sapphire eyes.

These two are the Darkes twins the only lone survivors from a demon attack, their parents brutally murdered in front of them by an unknown demoness. When they could see past the grief, Partak would often tease his sister that the demon looked a lot like her. Of course she would just call him silly and to stop joking around like that, in response he tended to laugh at the faces she made at him when she said. Partak Darkes and Misato Blueray Darkes, she preferred Blueray or just Blue.

"Agenda for the day"? She asked. Getting out from under the blakents to retreat further in to the alley, to do her bathroom routine and you can imagine what that is like without an actual bathroom. Street kids couldn't complain or fault their luck, they made do with what they had and made use of what they got.

Partak leaned against a nearby wall with his arms folded over his chest, he half pouted his lips as he thought or tried not to think of his sister in a perverted manner. Not that either of them knew their thoughts were taboo, all they had were eachother. "Hmm first we hit the regular joints for free food, if they got nothing its to the skips you know that".

"I know, I'm keeping you on your toes is all".

"Hmph".

Blueray walks up to him kissing first his cheek then his lips, "Aww don't be like that, it makes you look sexy".

"You are a tease", he smiles wrapping his arms around her.
~~~
Clasping a hand to the side of his face he keeps the torn flesh in place, blood welling around his fingers to drip upon the ground. He stood in front of his sister to defend her, his left arm outstretched to make a human barricade. Beast in front of them wasn't human nor it was a demon, it was a full grown raging lycan that attacked them.

"GET OUT OF HERE"! Yelling at her to escape.

"No I can't lose you too, I won't leave you". Gritting her flat teeth together, her hands clenching in to fists. She was the fighter not him, he didn't need to do this. She didn't need saving...
~~~
The days simply meld in to one until she no longer remembered what day was what, since that night a few years ago she'd been alone. No matter how hard she searched for her twin, she couldn't find him at all. Night after night she listened to the night sing to her, she could hear it now because the lycan bite had changed her. Changed them both. How long had she been walking along like this? Blood on her hands and matted black fur? How many had she killed? They deserved to die, they tried to kill her first without knowing what she is. Idiots. Moronic humans... how she despised them.
~~~
Ugh this boat is terrible she wished it would stop rocking all over the place, tossing up more of her stomach contents over the side with a wretched hhrrrkkkk noise. If she known she was going to be sea sick she would have never deicded to get on this ferry, some of the Drow she met were being really kind. Apparently only certain Drow are nice like they are, the rest are a bunch of ruthless murderers. They were teaching her how to speak their language, while looking after her once she finished upchucking. It's a long journey to Toxia she would get sea legs eventually, she got told a few of them were the same the first week or two.
~~~
"I want some potatos, gravy, green beans, chicken annnnnnnd a glass of milk", she beamed up at her mother from sitting on the floor. She was playing with her wooden blocks, her brother was beside her doing some colouring. Their mother was cooking dinner for them, their father was outside working the fields and checking up on all their livestock.

Mother hums cheerily, "Mhm alright kiddo, you forgot the magic word".

"Now"?

"Brat", she laughed ruffling up her daughter's dark blue hair. "Try again".

Pouting up at her mother, she huffs but she wasn't really annoyed. "Please"!!

Lifting one finger in to the air mother grins at her two children, "Much better, dinner is ready in a few minutes so go get washed up".
~~~

"I don't... want to... remember, I hate the light", mumering from under those dirty blankets as she turns on to her side. Even in sleep the flashbacks didn't stop, it had to stop soon or she would go mad. Forgetting that she is mad already due to her demon blood, the light of humanity threatened her and thus she sought to bury herself further in to the shadows of that make-shift tent.

Trying not to linger on the images, trying to forget. Trying to kill her humanity, that constantly seems to return. Damning her soul for all eternity, the soul she died to get rid of.

Lulz of the day:

[15:26] Lucifrage Koray: "I thought i saw a dinosaur once, it turned out to be sloan, i was so dissapointed" luci said.

War, flashbacks, radiation and The Glow

2010-05-28T07:21:00.000-07:00

War was declared last week upon The Brood, so far there have been defeats and victories on both sides. In the city tensions rise high with ever present threat of attacks, violence begets more violence and it continously esculates. I would prefer to have next to nothing to do with said war, but what the leader wants the leader gets so march in to war I do.

Oh those demons can indulge themselves all they want with the Seven Sins, I prefer the chaos this conflict brings for me to feed on. I have my sins that I embody, but I'm more chaos than anything else. Nope won't tell you who took that imp's wing, can't weasel that out of me.

As per usual there is something odd going on inside my head, often I have forgotten that LA is my home now and not Toxia. The scenary all around me keeps changing, a lot of my memories are mixed up together. I have done the best I can to ignore it and remain in a functioning mode, I mean its just another form of insanity and somehow some of these memories are comforting to me.

Radiation seems to be a big concern for the mortals these days, so much so that Stein has taken to wearing an outfit that covers him head to toe. There is also rumour of a weird cult worshipping something called The Glow, the city rose up to beat them down and a bomb went off. I don't even remember where... Oh yeah I was picking on that wanna be applicant.

Not much to say, too much happening. Too long have I forgotten to write in my journal, maybe I can write more soon.

Lulz of the day:

[15:17] Blueray Darkes: "She aint the warehouse"?
[15:17] Blueray Darkes: ini the*
[15:17] Blueray Darkes: in*
[15:17] Blueray Darkes: [wow don't tell her that I just called her a warehouse]
[15:17] Usagi Shinn: [[ LOL thats great ]]

Meltdown!!! Oh noes...

2010-05-16T11:47:00.000-07:00

Lost Angels is on meltdown or at least the nuclear re-actor in Tempura is, so far I've seen no panic about the situation at all. Maybe even the mortals are not afraid that they will become nothing more than a crater, I have nothing to worry about if I get destroyed I can go see grandpa even though he hates me.

Travelling from LA to Tempura by Stein's side was a quiet walk, he didn't utter a single word til we reached the plant. It's like watching a kid who just walked in to a giant ass candy store, his whole face lit up at the sight of the building and all that science laying inside. When the woman Bomb arrived to let him in he began to rattle off all this nerd speak, okay admitedly I'm average with my nerding and he made me feel stupid. Really stupid...

I can see why I shouldn't bother with him at all, why I shouldn't keep trying among various other things. He makes me curious, he's violent, he's intelligent, I can hold conversation with him when we're on the same level, we share an interest in taking things apart. We're insane... There is no other human who gained my respect in the way he did, no other human I can tolerate to get away with the things he does.

Yet he made me feel like I was somewhat retarded, he's so beyond me there is no point in striving. Sigh... I might not be able to keep up with him in the science stakes, but I'm sure there are other subjects I can keep level with.

The plant is a lot different than the factory, though I would love to explore the area and see its wonders. Stein is going to be here for two weeks, two long weeks but at least he will be happy.

Now the big question is, can the nuclear team prevent us from blowing up?

Lulz of the day:

[20:23] Jax Stryker: [ *summons a Blueray, loses 250 MP*]

[20:34] Blueray Darkes: [on a roll ne?]
[20:35] Jax Stryker: [ Like a katamari, baby. ]
[20:35] Blueray Darkes: [*laughs*]
[20:36] Bombalurina Catronis: (( If I keep facepalming I'm seriously going to poke an eye out. ))
[20:36] Blueray Darkes: [You get used to him :)]
[20:36] Atrius Bellic makes a little machine with a flyswater to let Bombsie do her facepalming with "There you go, no eyepokage with this" lmao))
[20:37] Bombalurina Catronis: (( Thank you. I'll never be afraid of mosquitos getting in my face again. ))

Lunacy

2010-05-10T03:23:00.000-07:00

So... hungry... hungry...

i FeEl ThE mAdNeSs

LuNaCy

I think... I'm dieing... hungry

Of monsters and madness

2010-04-27T04:14:00.000-07:00

The days pass by like any other day, here in this bustling city people rush through life. Rarely is the place empty or silent, and I walk among them the darkest of monsters in their midst. Few have learned of my temper and fewer still of what I'm capable of, the sickness in my head that makes me take pleasure in others pain. Or the weakness in my mind that I turned in to a strength, it this very thing I made a benefit that has become a liability.

I been spending the week looking after Stein, keeping an eye on him or generally following him around. He lost his legs and his obsession with them has led him in to the deepest recesses of his insanity, so I began work when I could to track down his legs even toying with some of the Syndicate members. See they took them hacked them off. My playing caught the attention of several people, and warned by at least two of them to lay off one particular Syn member. Not only that I was warned off the Choir too, simply because a Choir member is connected to the Syn member I made go on an acid trip. Amused to say the least, that one man can cause such an issue.

During this time the lab experiments that Stein had made, had been set free from their cages and were set lose in to the city. I only came across one, I was disappointed.

My trails were dead ends my toying an apparent waste of time, even when we ransacked their base it was useless. Eventually the good doctor lost it completely and got tied up then locked inside the cage, that is where I found him as per my orders of keeping an eye on him. Seems that while I rested he caused enough trouble to get incarcerated. Perhaps I shouldn't have sat down with him, the insanity he had was like a physical weight pressing on me.

So I fell...

In to my own abyss of demented laughter and thoughts, there we sat together two beings locked in madness. Til I found a will to move to go out and do as Tempest bids, in my madness I harvested in the name of the AR.

When I return to being alone I mourn once more the loss of Picket, she who I can no longer rescue from the clutches of death. Lucifer my uncle will have her locked up tighter than ever, and I am unwilling to risk my power against his. On a happier note I have returned Jason to our plain, calling him from his condo on the shore of the river Styx.

Supremacy through Insanity...

I really do love it here.

Lulz of the day:

[10:35] Kaz Pexie decided to have a staring competition with Blue. Even if the Necrillia didn't look back, Kaz would glare like there was no tomorrow.

A month passes

2010-04-16T04:23:00.000-07:00

It has been a month since I left Toxia for good, never returning to its grimey streets and dirty air. Occasionally I miss the Pit its screams, whispers and the volcano, I also miss the voices inside my head our voices. In this place we travelled to I have come upon what is called a Deer, there are animals here things that never existed where we came from. There is a lot of greenery too from grass to trees, here the wolves run in what is called a forest. Cats live in trees...

We the Hellions moved from the hospital to the mental asylum, for a lot of us I think such a move fits including myself. A portal leads from there to Pieter's throne room, I would say enter there at your own risk. My current time there has been peaceful to say the least, recently I attacked Kashgari under orders to make him hurt. I ripped off his penis and replaced it with a stick, since he shoved his hand in my mouth he lost that too.

Nomnomnom

Over in the City of Lost Angels things have been busy as usual, killings, maimings, donations to the Black Market. We had our special made bullets in crates placed out all over the city, have seen the re-awakening of Emeth aka Gaary. He's an abomination that we in the Archaic Redemption made, by harvesting various body parts and Tempest infused it with dark magicks of necromancy. There is the experiment of mind linking that should be ending today, bosslady was trying to see if this would be a benefit to us rather than using comms. I actually look forward to see if the results will have her refine the potion, as I have been happy to have Dralk's voice in my head despite the odd side effects.

Unlife goes on...

At least I'm having fun, and I'm moving on!

Lolz of the day:

[18:49] Elamyrath Bracken: DO YOU LIKE MUDKIPS!?!?!
[18:51] Blueray Darkes: YEAH I DO
[18:51] Elamyrath Bracken: knew it
[18:52] Blueray Darkes: ARE YOU A MUDKIP?!?!
[18:54] Elamyrath Bracken: ya damn right i am

Memories

2010-03-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

So it came to pass we who were once loyal Shadows are now loyal Hellions, this city is unlike the island and its toxic air we left behind. In fact there is something about it that I can not put my finger on, I suppose a human who knows no better would call it fresh.

As with all turmoilious events we arrived in fashion, instantly spreading our domain over the place and making havoc. Some of us had forgotten the old place the memories of it shattered, some of us had returned to previous forms or changed completely. I myself seem to have a few gaps but I remember most of it, as I had become a historian somewhat for the tales I picked up over time.

I've barely had time to explore but taking the sky tour I been able to see lots of green stuff, trees and grass that tries to take over what little is left of the urban side of this place. I don't like all the green stuff it bugs me, then I been in cities all my life since my parents murder so it makes sense. No time to really explore since our arrival, trouble brews completely and we ended up having to rescue Pieter.

Funny how things turn out it was him who saved me on two seperate occasions, I finally was able to pay him back for one of them...

I continue my travels between the two families, my ties to both strong as ever now since being free from the island. I often find my mind travelling back to that place, wondering if the people will be glad we are gone. Perhaps they are, I hope they all rot.

End of an era

2010-03-10T19:08:00.001-08:00

I had determined to leave and be done with it, the rumours that struck me through the legion were whispering a new Lord. There was no new Lord in my mind and Pieter had not been de-throned yet, I returned to the island to see who had the audacity to take over. The coupé de grace was almost perfect, the false one tried to tell us our Lord was in the Abyss. False one had no hope of keeping the truely loyal to the House and those loyal to both the past and current Lord, hissed and spat words at the one who tried to control the situation.

We left the island through the volcano as something eventually called us, those who stayed behind to continue serving are traitors to the family.

Thus we found ourselves somewhere else, with people we used to call friend and foe they joined us in to our family. We will start anew here under our Lord, and I have already informed him I will travel between my places. When he is awake I will be there, and when he sleeps I will head for LA.

I like the sudden ability to be able to use my wings, I never knew the sky had such freedom to it.

Lulz of the day:

[11:01] Blueray Darkes: "You are hardly a casanova".
[11:02] Valentine Shilova: I know
[11:02] Valentine Shilova: its like I never get laid
[11:02] Blueray Darkes: Oh joy you can join the "Never get laid by immortals" club with Fraz.

What lies beneath

2010-02-17T19:25:00.000-08:00

What lies beneath the skin of the demoness, apart from her anger and her hate? What lies under the terrible squall she keeps conquered, and the burning lust that demands she satisfies herself?

In this city of LA under the magicks of the powerful Tempest, all that she had buried is now at the surface. Her tormented memories, her trauma, her fears and her desires along with a rage that knows no enemy or friend. Unfettered pride, and completely unstable along with her chaotic nature.

Help me...

Lulz of the day:

[18:19] Blueray Darkes: [*flips him off*]
[18:19] Elamyrath Bracken: [total invitation there]
[18:19] Blueray Darkes: [Nadda]
[18:19] Jax Stryker: [ Children. Don't make me turn this car around.]
[18:19] Blueray Darkes: [But daddy, he started it]
[18:19] Elamyrath Bracken: [she started it]
[18:19] Jolene Merlin: ( lol )
[18:19] Blueray Darkes: [xD]
[18:20] Elamyrath Bracken: [LOL ^5!]
[18:20] Dralkanen Hextall: (( Can we stop at Mcdonalds; Im huuuuuuuuungry))
[18:20] Blueray Darkes: [Can we have icecream? *highfives Elam*]
[18:20] Jax Stryker: [ *just dies* ]
[18:20] Elamyrath Bracken: [i wanna chocolate shake!]

Weakness of the Mind

2010-01-25T18:53:00.000-08:00

“Weakness of the mind, its different for each one of us”, the black demon Janvier tells his newest daughter. “For me it is the fact I am easily controlled”.

The newly completed demoness lifts her head to view her father and sire, her tongue licked over her lips before she makes a response. “I’ve got strong mental barriers; I’ve had practice thanks to Drake”.

Janvier laughed then in amusement at her as if what she had said was funny, though to her it was not and later on stood her in good stead. Unlike her father she was not a puppet to anyone, except perhaps Dimentox who was able to overcome her defences. Pieter also had done the same but he had been allowed in, in a counter to it she became more cautious to who she let in. Her mind, her sanctuary. Blueray was not safe from the weakness of Belial’s bloodline; her existence was driven by hate, rage and basic carnal needs. Then there were the times before the foul and bad temperament took over completely, she would randomly be seen running through the Toxian streets and around people. Her voice lifted in to song that spoke of random things, when she dashed off once more people wondered about her state of mind.

It was clear to those around when she had the chance to hurt another that clearly she was not alright inside her own head. Torture of the living things often got the demoness worked in to a frenzy that she would lose control over her held shape and her true form is on show. Oh how she did enjoy to hear the cracking and breaking of bones, something that she had picked up before she became a demon. Her weakness was the instability of her mind; she suffered the need to be covered in blood. So close to being a clone of her father, perhaps such a thing was inevitable.

Terrox himself had called her insane.

Blueray was to be found sitting on the edge of the volcano which, is inside the bowels of the place everyone called The Pit. Her blue, clawed feet splashed in the boiling lava un-phased by the heat, surrounded on all sides by dark walls with the usual whispers of spirits by her ears. Hands stretched out behind her, she had her head tilted up to view the glass ceiling that was also the floor if you stood up on that level. Blue irises constantly drowning in a black abyss of her eyes, flickering her gaze as if she could see things that weren’t there. She was thinking back upon the forms of insanity she had seen in her family, Kishi was prone to extreme violent outbursts and Nuku was a schizophrenic. Picket well Picket was already extremely unstable; perhaps she wasn’t as affected as the others.

Since she has been taking in more chaotic energy that had begun to unravel her sanity more and more, then there had also been the arrival of Doctor Franken Stein whose madness infected her own. Those two often spiralled one another down to insanity fuelling each other, she mutilated and devoured herself while the human madman had the visions he alone could see. Her violence had increased especially when she became unstable, coming out in bursts that would be directed at targets for her hate.

Her thoughts now upon her own blood that causes horror visions, allows people to see demons from the other plane. Little vessel of madness that she was immune to her own effects, she was perhaps considering that maybe just maybe the weakness of the mind was caused by this blood. Why else would the children of Belial that were once stable of mind, become such demented creatures when they are turned?

It made sense... If she thought about it, it really did make sense.

Blueray’s own catalyst that broke her mind in to pieces was chaos, helped along to complete its shattering by Dr.Stein.

Why that human?

Slipping further in to the volcano to submerge herself completely in its heat, she pondered upon this one insignificant being that had gained her respect and friendship. For her time among the House of Shadows she been surrounded by varying degrees of madness, dementia and insanity, she could not place her finger upon it why it was he who dragged her down the rabbit hole. Heaving out a sigh the demoness of black and blue hues began to swim down through the hot depths, the questions asked by herself with no actual answers nor were they to be found.

Why not Vistyne? It was obvious the red demoness herself was crazy, with a temper that matched or perhaps outmatched her own. Would she not have been a better and more worthwhile one to be breaking her mind? Or Emmelia half brain dead, and had messed with Blueray’s mind causing agony for days.

“I’ve lived with insanity all my life; your blood does little to affect me. I think they keep my own visions in my head company”, words of a madman.

Was that it then? The fact he had been mad since the day he was born, is that why it had been Stein and why they infect one another?

Tucking her knees up under her chin, her tail curling about her ankles and her arms wrapped about her legs. She now floated inside that lava to get some rest and feed from the spirits that flowed from its hellish mouth opening, those thoughts and those questions still whirling around and around in her head.

Besides being around insanity wasn’t so bad, being completely insane was rather refreshing.

Limitless...

My scapegoat

2010-01-15T16:55:00.000-08:00

In my grasp of mind control that I am once more excerising to its full extent, I have had the Righteous human girl Roxy as my new puppet. When she failed me I abused her for it, punishment to hope she doesn't fail again.

She failed!

Two failures and I was not happy with her I was already one step ahead, going to the church I was hoping to get hold of the book of Stryke myself. However a nice turn up for my own books was pilgrim's willingness to help our Lord Pieter, who was suffering from the fact he couldn't feed. So I made a deal with her. If she could get me a bone from Calleigh's mother, I will release Roxy from my control and pilgrim would be helping Pieter to be free of the curse.

The idiot agreed to the deal as willing as I was to free the human right there and then pilgrim said upon her succeeding for Roxy to be released. Fine with me means I get to keep the little mugworm for longer. Little does the angel though that her task would set her up nicely to be the fall man, or in other terms in some cultures called a scape goat.

Pilgrim succeeded and handed me a finger bone, I thus recieved the item and freed their comrade. Awwwww sometimes it is so good to be me, and that babypyre Kash decided to keep insulting me.

Beat him down and infected him with my brand of madness.

Serves him right.

Lulz of the day:

[20:10] Marv Whittaker: Bye the power of Greyskull...
[20:10] Blueray Darkes: I jizzed in my pants

He drives me nuts

2010-01-14T16:44:00.000-08:00

I have nothing much to say...

Except...

Stein drives me crazy he pushes me in to my insanity, so much so that I want to scream and gouge out my brain matter. Claw open up my own head and scoop out the mess, throw it across the walls and ground in gruesome fashion.

This is what he drives me to...

I want to murder him, I want to break him, most of all I want to learn from him. There is no other human that I respect as I respect him. I let him get away with so much, fucking god damn monster Stein.

Lost inside my insanity, I will mutilate myself.

Lulz of the day:

[11:59] Spawn Rieko: Just because you don't do it now, doesn't mean you're not going to do it later
[11:59] Spawn Rieko: You can't trust yourself in this kind of situation. Something could come up that you weren't expecting.
[11:59] Spawn Rieko: How do you solve this problem?
[12:00] Dakira Seetan: with cheese
[12:00] Spawn Rieko: I'm being serious right now.
[12:00] Spawn Rieko: But yes, cheese helps.
[12:01] Spawn Rieko: Think for a second lol.
[12:01] Spawn Rieko: What would you do?
[12:01] Spawn Rieko: What SHOULD you do?
[12:01] Dakira Seetan: you want me to use my brain now?!

Try me

2010-01-14T10:36:00.000-08:00

Upon one of my incursions in to the LA base I found Jess taped, tied and chained in the cage at the back of the base. Intriquied I made my way over and woke her up from her slumber, she stirred briefly to try and convince me to free her.

Now if I was stupid perhaps I would have just freed her on her word alone, that just because the host is an officier doesn't mean anything. If you're sitting there chained up there has to be a damn good reason for it, I do love to overstep my rank boundries and take matters in to my own hands. The taste for taking command and leading still fresh, though occasionally it turns stale in my mouth and grows bitter. If the AR was smaller it might be easy to go above my own rank, this family is huge and growing all the time doing so could get me in trouble. Specially since Tempest doesn't mess around when it comes to dishing out punishment.

Pain is fun in the right situation but not the way Bosslady deals it.

Banter between small, short and sweet if ya can call it sweet, I said I would tell our leader that Trime as she now calls herself wants to be free. I guess no one really knows that caging something wild, generally ends up killing them on the inside out. We as demons have to be free. I left her there in the cage, to go and find Bosslady or at least an officier. So far no luck. Oh well Trime maybe later.

Lulz of the day:

[15:43] steyr Shutt: Mine eyes have seen the glory of the insides of da Blue, she has a toaster in there and a vacuum cleaner too, but the rat cage and the rodent i dont know she got from where, but when i looked inside yesterday i swear it wasnt there .... lalalalala ((continues singing))

Fairy tales and unseen horrors

2010-01-11T09:28:00.000-08:00

Not quite sure how I ended up speaking with a fairie, or as I have dubbed her butterfly simply because her wings remind me of such. I saw some butterflies once and her wings were just like them, I wanted so much to grab a hold of them and pull them off. Butterfly wandered away leaving me behind with Dux and some feline girl, typical that my bad mood always drives away victems. *sigh*

The cat was being an irritant though I actually expect that of felines, I shot a spitwad out of the air with a fireball. Fucking immature bitch. Reluctantly I went over to her and the demon Dux, both proceeded to think of ways to cheer me up. *Yeah like I need that* Or they were just pissing me off by discussing my heritage, I was made in to a demon not born I'm a full blood and royality at that. Fastest way to piss me off other than some other tactics, yes yes I won't relate that here not right now. Is to call in to question whether I am part demon or part something else, if I recall that Delrith my first sire had the heart of a dragon inside that body made of demons. I can only assume the draconic traits come from that, but my father's essence is what runs rampant and makes me who I am.

DO NOT ASSUME MY DEMONIC HERITAGE!

Fuck you all just because you got no idea how to make your own spawn without fucking someone, doesn't mean you got the fucking right to pull my own bloodline and family in to question.

I am going to poison that girl with my blood make her see all the things that no one can usually see, she seems willing to be shoved on to an adventure. Hey at least it will be her fault and not mine. Hehehehehehehe

Lulz of the day:

[20:42] Marv Whittaker: omg, cake ate me
[20:42] Jax Stryker: In soviet Russia, cake eats you?

Old faces

2010-01-10T09:59:00.000-08:00

I figured I have been neglecting my journal again, since Bosslady has requested that we write in them for a week... Well what better time to once more pick up my pen and my journal to write, my history and my thoughts since coming to LA and joining the AR inside a lycan's body. Like I ever needed an excuse to write anyway.

I had spent a few hours in the bar called the Zodiac listening and drinking, I have a thing for vodka its a potent drink but not as strong as say absythne. Damn love that stuff but having it in my bloodstream is not a good idea, specially not in my current condition that will once again take time to calm down. My body is on fire the needs and urges of it enflamed to dangerous levels, I was glad for this growing cold that was happening inside the bar as I leaned against the pillar.

Going to have to find Stein I have things to work out with him, I want to tear him and break him thrash him to an inch of his life. Then drag him back to health only to do it all over again, the thoughts of such make me shiver in delight.

~Violence excites me~

Upon just being observent the bar is still somewhat empty, its at a comfortable level of people right now. I hear a familar voice and a familar name, it came to right then I recalled a certain frog with a soul trapped inside it. Poor taste in joke that was it made Hitaroki so mad to have seen that, eventually after I spent days looking after the thing he stepped on it. Anyhow my old friend Elamyrath Bracken, a person who escaped Toxia just like I did and we know the wanton desctrution of the fiend that believes he controls the city there.

So we spoke of the Kindred Allience of Dimentox and I clued him up on some recent events, I felt his anger and I did as I always did I fed on it. I think I am becoming a glutton, I wonder if that is another of Pieter's influences. Never the less the energy was stored, I grew weary along with my frustration and usual bad temper coming in to play as the bar filled up. Out out I had to get out, making my exit I left that place stepping out in to cold air. This place is full of people I used to know.

Following morning I found out we got to keep a journal for a week, I guess that's why I can find myself writing this now leant up against a lamp post near the LA pack den. Maitso is sitting on the magazine stand just kicking back, I hadn't seen him since he left the family I hadn't gotten any orders to get his head on a platter so I generally left him be. Yeah I know my first entry of the week isn't all that sick or twisted, I'm just putting pen to paper right now while talking to the vampire about a few things. Nothing important nothing even serious, idle chit chat to be honest. I got mildly amused at the Pack getting victems near their base, they seem to be a bit brighter than the ones back in Toxia.

I hate the Pack in that city, at least these ones here I can tolerate. They seem to be able to think for themselves, and not base everything upon their own instincts. Such is the way I see things that if your IQ is so low then don't bother me, if you can hold a decent conversation I will welcome it. That does not mean I will like you, I generally hate a lot of things... I wonder what else can happen this week, I hope to be able to write something interesting at least.

Lulz of the day:

[12:28] Jax Stryker: [ Piet's presence is so strong it causes my DCS to reset? ]
[12:29] Blueray Darkes: [XD]
[12:29] Pieter Seelowe: ((yeap, epic Pieter))
[12:29] DCS2 2.46.10: Suyuan Quan OOC: He's epic like that.

New challenges

2009-12-31T08:47:00.000-08:00

Roaming is something I missed doing, being stuck in one place for almost two years begins to grate on one. Specially if you led, then led again to leave leadership and return to a normal post. This is what happened and I don't really mind, I will forever know the innerworkings but I have realised that due to my current attitude I am no Walker. I went Caster and have happily stayed there wiling away my days, inputting when I needed to input helping out when I needed to help. Also at my present state of being in a rutt and being flawed, I am no leader and thus require no such role to occupy my time.

What does a demon do with too much time on her hands?

Prey has been in short supply as of late, since I am no longer bound to the island so I spent time in LA. Here I have had the fortune of new challenges, new foes, new admirers and new enemies to get to grips with. I have grown to feel I belong in this shell's family and thus I have stayed, the officiers and the leaders are all well tuned in to eachother. Something that a good family has well oiled team, reminds me of the family back home. Yeah... Toxia is still home in my view, LA is like a good vacation.

Brutality is a thing I am familar with its been all around me, I also have had the oppurtunity to deliver my own brand of pain upon the grand total of two victems so far. That and I scare the hell out of a couple of neko girls, two brand new scare toys for me to harress for my own amusement. Never judge a book by its cover, they found that out when I went full demon on their asses.

Chaos, blood, violence I find it here in great abundence, there is always a task to do if we so wish to do so when we're bored. Over the last few days I have fed well, the overload making my mind break in to its insanity. I have noticed also during my stay here that Dr.Stein is a very busy man, not only does he have the blonde thing to look after but he does a great amount of work for the undead here. Keeping them together mostly but he has competation from the flesh crafters in the ranks, regular ole medicine and experimenation verus the magikal art of crafting flesh. I much prefer a blade and my hands to do my work, I always was a hands on kinda girl its about to get me in to trouble.

That poor human girl I tore apart, she's now in the ranks of undead. Oh my the future will be fun, first I have to deal with the full moon if I step foot in LA tonight.

New Year's Eve... Full moon... Dendra wants out...

Lulz of the day:

[13:03] Nebiros Outlander would point out if his mouth is occupied, he cant sing.
[13:08] Celtic Destiny has the decision made then
[13:09] Blueray Darkes shoves a sock in Neb's mouth
[13:09] Blueray Darkes: See? Now its occupied
[13:10] Celtic Destiny: ?me thinks Blue is juust the shit from this point on and forever
[13:10] Blueray Darkes laughs

New land!

2009-12-23T18:17:00.000-08:00

I was freed from Toxian City!

Stein and me we broke open my chest, tore out my heart and for the first time I could see it was black. Tampered with. Filling a jar with my own blood we placed the heart in to it, I entrusted myself to the doctor. Destroying my shell afterwards as I had dragged all the essence out of it, I will not be bound to this island anymore I needed more freedom.

My will is to serve the House, my desire to be all that I can, to be strong in all ways, I can not imagine why I trusted Stein to do this for me. He more than likely wanted to dissect the organ, to be fascinated by the way it would mend itself. Only other I would have trusted to take my heart anywhere would have been Pieter, but he never leaves the city and I like this human. Even if he is a monster.

Stein did his work in flipped out crazy mode, I could hear him as I beat inside the jar simply waiting. He spoke to me in that insane way he has when he's slipped, my blood on his hands falling between his fingers as he held my heart in his palms. I could feel myself seeping through his pores, burning a path to his brain infecting him with the madness I carry. In this state as just an organ with all but a little of sensory feeling lost, I had other ways to feel my enviroment and different ways to feel things. He placed me inside the body of a dead lycan, oh hell familar ground for me and I took to it like a duck to water. Fixing myself in place as my blood began the healing, with my weakened state I found I was unable to heal the surgical incision. The doctor got out thread and needle to sow me up neatly, while I spoke with a few members of the lycan's family.

For now I have been wandering around this new city and the delights it will have to offer up to me, I intend to fix the weaknesses that I have in this place to serve where I had no previous ties and where I am unknown. Too long have I had the prestige of respect from once being a Shadow Council member and one of the Seconds In Command, to return to humbler beginings where I had no such leadership and once more follow without expectations. I guess the urge to be where I feel belong to "pack" with others, is a thing I have been unable to kill off even with the months I spent as a demon.

My new playground - City of Lost Angels

My family while I roam here - Archaic Redemption

My future is in my hands, and I promise this. Skyler my brother dear I will always strive to remember my roots, to remember that people are tools and the way I used to use them. Hitaroki my friend and so much more, I will reach that full potential that you and others tell me I can achieve.

Let the cycle begin once more a new, in the body of a lycan called Dendra. Don't worry crazy little thing, we will be one completely and undeniably you will be mine.

Lulz of the day:

Do not give Blueray sugar and caffiene, the hyperactivity on skype scares the shit out of you!

Spiraling in to insanity

2009-11-23T09:52:00.000-08:00

I never thought I'd go as far to say, I think I am mad completely mad. In this moment of lucidity I will write this entry, before I end up sinking back in to the insanity that has claimed me. There has been far too much chaos recently, I feed on it to fuel myself but I can't stop the intake I'm overfed. My own blood I think is also finally affecting me, the madness that it causes when in those not immune is now consuming my mind. I also got sucked in to this portal where the Toxic Queen was coming out from, that place where she is so fractured and chaotic I was overloaded to the point of losing my own mind.

Also hanging around with crazy people doesn't help me at all, Stein is rubbing off on me everytime I find myself stable he cracks and I go back in to the abyss alongside him. Two god damn lunatics one who thrives on all things medical, the other a hellbent creature intent on destroying the living things around them in any way possible. What a wonderful combination, with no boundries placed on me at all my violence leaks out more than usual.

~I want to break you~

I understand what Janvier meant by the weakness of the mind, for each of his children it has been different from himself. I can now recall the mental states that affected them all, accept Picket was always sort of nutty anyway. I suppose now that insanity is contagious, I'll enjoy this new wave of freedom and explore it to the fullest. I do love to learn.

The Queen is out and rampaging around the City, her children are out and rampaging. Chaos grows thicker by the second and by the minute, the blood flows along the streets and this madness, this insanity has once more been bought down on us by Dimentox. Why can't that guy stay buried? I don't think I can write anymore, I think I'm going to go back in to the derangement.

~I want to break you~

Lulz of the day:

[19:45] DCS2 2.46.1: Jax Stryker OOC: *makes a mental note*
[19:46] DCS2 2.46.1: Blueray Darkes OOC: *slaps Jax sane*
[19:46] DCS2 2.46.1: Jax Stryker OOC: *...blinks. Has a sudden urge to talk about politics and have a coffee with one sugar and two creams*
[19:47] DCS2 2.46.1: Blueray Darkes OOC: Okay that just made me want to kill you
[19:47] DCS2 2.46.1: Jax Stryker OOC: <3

Round three! DING DING

2009-11-19T09:27:00.000-08:00

For whom the bell tolls...

A saying often used for purposes to signal death, either through a battle or natural causes. The bell tolled for me long ago, I mean I'm dead I don't really care about losing my shell. Essence goes to Hell and it can be pulled back, I wonder who would pull me back or could I do it on my own.

Martko challenged me to round three of our little contest, this time he was prepared with a sword imbued with holy power. So I too came prepared on top of the cinema with my own hammer, imbued and tainted with demonic energy and two different forms of blood.

The ultimate clash!

We fought in the pouring rain like kungfu fighting with our weapons, me with my dragon headed hammer and him with his sword. No idea where the rain came from. There was this one moment when we made a shockwave, all pretty colours and a large dust cloud. Watch anime that will give you a good thing to match it up with. Ugh.

Holy weapons hurt thats what they are intended to do, to burn and sear when the wound is already healed. Its never on the surface it sort of lingers inside, to cause agony beyond anything you thought possible. Like the holy water blood from Cid after I tore his face off, my stomach hurt so much that I barely left the Pit for a day and half.

I won this round or did I? I know I won the second one even with a smashed in face, cos I heard he was crying in the church from the visions caused by my blood. I did warn him this time not to make me bleed, I even infected a kitty cat a few days ago serves him right for asking for my blood. HA. Martko I think was more messed up than I was, I crawled home again writhing in pain to the volcano. I rested inside the lava to heal from the holy damage I recieved, til a noisey fucking bike woke me up.

Bloody fucking Imps need to learn their place, specially Imps that are not Shadows.

Lulz of the day:

[23:58] Big Kuhr: I need some badass nipple rings, where do I go to buy em
[23:59] Dracon Dyszel: this is gonna sound so fucked up Big but ask my mom

Quick update.. sigh

2009-11-12T19:22:00.000-08:00

Yep yep one of those weeks, and damn I'm late at updating again but whatever. Its my journal and I'll update when I want to, simple as that anyone that doesn't like it... I will eat their face like I ate Pilgrim's face.

On to the quick update for whatever I haven't put in here yet.

Maki bit me went crazy from my blood, ate Pilgrim's face and made her sick. Fight with Martko round two, I ended up with a smashed in face and one tenticle missing. On the upside he got my blood on him and went crazy. Fed a vampire some of my blood that she took willingly, had some weird man hunt my ass down and he never found me.

Halloween saw the city people being the polar oppersite of what they were, Pieter was an angel and Kash was Jesus. Doctor Stein was a pimp... Jesus made the nun Suyuan masturbate with a crucifix.

Tom died and went to Hell leaving his shell empty, opened up Hellgate used family members energies and thoughts to get him back. Cursed Suyuan to have a penis and a constant erection, payback for making Kash have a vagina and a period for something he did to her that she enjoyed.

Tangled with Doc. He sought me out for payback and tried to look tough, played it off then the THING interrupted. Stein caught up with me to force me to give him respect, he earned it by all rights and has it now for evermore. Fucking human is agile even when he is healing, bloody bastard that he is.

Feeling of demise sweeps the city's nations, odd behavour from Pix and other individuals. A strange email shows up and some odd writing, clues elude to something big happening. On going process to make chaos and trouble, church doesn't like me I'm dubbed the ruthless Shadow... I'm happy.

Long live the Shadows, now recruiting dark peoples.

Lulz of the day:

Jules Carami: You can't clone Blue cos there is only one, everything is just an off color

The darkness

2009-10-26T19:42:00.000-07:00

I had wanted this.... The complete darkness, to be engulfed entirely and be free of any flaws. No humanity, no weakness to be strong and be above all others that were not Shadow. Not only am I in the darkness, I am a part of it inseperatble from it. I can't seem to get a handle on it, to use the power that flows within me.

Sort of like being on the bottom of a well, with no way out but up. I don't want to go up I want go down further, in to the comfort of damnation I have sought for. I hated humanity hated the mortality that coiled around me, choking me making me weak to cry in terror and fear. Now I'm better than that once more strong, unbroken and unfettered ready to take on the city.

My Lord is the path to the new ages and I walk beside him, old days flooding my mind like they happened yesterday. Everyone is expendable and the city will tremble before us, for we are the House of Shadows.

Corruption

Lulz of the day:

RockPup (In Skype): Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle AGH PIETER'S CROTCH!!!

Reborn the Monster

2009-10-03T08:48:00.000-07:00

Kaira killed me... Gutted me right there and then on the Pit floor, she had her reason I did torture her a bit on the alter. Killing me? Is that really justified?

~Cut to the part of being well dead~

I looked around in that familar blackness, my body was dead and honestly this was the second time I lost it completely. Fourth death though ha I'm getting a good track record.... Death was there in its male aspect, you ever seen Hades from Greek mythology? He was looking like that not something I normally go for, but meh I was already comfortable with Death so what the fuck ever.

"We really have to stop meeting like this".

"You're telling me"?

Death moved towards me, "It is not time for you to die now is it? Never is since you are not meant to be dead, you are going to wake up sooner or later. Ahh Misato always the one that got away".

"I've been damned since the first time I went demon, you telling me that I will never truely die"?

"Thats the gist of it", he said. "That little heart of yours, it wasn't as human as you thought it was".

I blinked, "Excuse me"?

He seemed to laugh then, "Eeehhh... Well the confines of humanity actually made its demon nature dorment, when your body was ended it freed it to return to what it was. Oh child of Janvier".

"I have a question".

"Yes"?

"That demoness who killed my parents, she isn't really me is she"?

Death got a serious expression, "You've seen there are other dimensions and realities, imagine that particular demoness came from one such dimension.... That is the you who was BORN a demoness, pure demon and true as you will be soon".

As the light or should that be a blacker black than the blackness I was already sitting in, suddenly invaded my personal inner sanctum I sat down to take that in. Death embraced me in the way a lover would, in the way I wish a certain one would do every day.

~End scene~

All I could feel was heat immense heat all around me, coursing through me and I was just floating in this heat. I don't know does a heart actually feel anything at all? I crawled out of the volcano my hands grasping for the edge to drag myself free of the lava, I crept over the floor hissing in my own violent re-birth towards my Lord. He ordered me to go out and feed to not take too long either, with Jason by my side I went out in to the city and mananged to feed off a couple of kitties.

Afterwards I tested the blood of my lineage on Stein, it seems it still works though a lot less potent. I can't figure out why the rest of my old powers will not work, perhaps because Belial abandoned my father... Janvier.

Lulz of the day:

Kashgari: Who are you raping?
Pieter: Your sister

Padded room

2009-09-27T08:06:00.000-07:00

Aaww Martko is so mad and he got madder when he saw, after a brief encounter he stormed off growling. I hadn't meant to find him in the hospital, I was busy remembering things that happened here. He was chanting to himself -I hate this city-, I only paid him attention when he growled.

We began to talk through the grating, he irritated me because people like him don't think I know pain and loss. He invited me in and I sat down, he gave me a chocolate bar. I value sugery foods not having them when I was a kid, he told me his story telling why he hates people like me. In turn I told my life before Toxia, I told him how I had changed due to Pack. How Shadows had saved me.

So easy to just give me a label rather than see the cause, I respect strong people like Martko. Both Jonathon and Griffith were Righteous, abuse taken and abuse given with decent conversation after. Martko will now be the same as them in my eyes, he is best left where he is. I'm created by this city I stand for everything he is against, I never broke I embraced the darkness.

I enjoy life with no light

Lulz of the day:

Blueray: You're taking up my server space!
Kashgari: I'm not taking it, I'm just borrowing it.

I returned to where I belong

2009-09-24T19:08:00.000-07:00

I had quietly left the group of cybernectics yesterday, installing Kishi as their new leader and folding up my coat. Putting it on a table placing my comm unit on top of the coat, I knew I wouldn't be needing them anymore where I was going. I made a last sweep of the factory, taking it all in with a fondness that was there just not so strong. I had done all I could while longing to be elsewhere, I had worked hard to pull them together but Kishi she would do a better job. I gripped the railing of the railing that was around the hole, I threw myself over it to land with a thud and walk off.

I looked back once heaving out a sigh, I may not have belonged there or felt a complete part of them. Still leaving out of the blue was a wrench for me, I made a vow a heartfelt vow that will stay etched on my heart for all time. I will never harm a Continuum member. I turned my back on them I was going to be happy for once, and be damned if its something I want and had wanted.

The steps of the Pit looked like a large tongue that lolled out of the maw of a giant beast, my heart beat so fast I was scared it would burst inside my chest. Slowly I walked up the steps taking each one with each stride, til I was inside the Pit and stood before Pieter.

"Yes Bluebie"?

"It is time, I want to come home".

He went to his throne motioning me to follow, I was half behind him half at his side as is usual for me. He ordered me to kneel before him, I pointed out we established a year ago I don't kneel. I got my insignia of the Shadows back, I was part of my old family again. I couldn't hear the voices as I did the first time round, I wasn't part of the telepathy that we all shared. Either way I felt more at ease than I had in a long time, I was finally home and the Shadows they all welcomed me back in to the fold. They had missed me too. I guess though I have to work my way back up to my old place, no worries I didn't mind having to earn my rank back. Gives me something to do.

After I was back in we went out in force to FishCo, we picked up Kaira who had been corrupted by Pieter to see the darker side of life. Kaira I know how my Lord favours her, as ever I will wait I will be there when its done and over. I like Kaira despite me breaking her, she was a monster a thing twisted to be what we all are. Free. Kaira joined us too became a Shadow, the day was an overall win for us.

Soon the darkness will spread over the city, we will create fear like no other. I will regain everything and become the terror that stalked the streets, it will be always behind my Lord's wake. Pieter.... The man that done more than anyone for me, saved me, raised me, led me, drew me in when no one else would. Moulded me to be the epitome of what a Shadow is, almost perfect he called me this time I will be perfect.

Soon its the begining of the old, only with a brand new twist.

Lulz of the day:

[15:11] Martko Swords: ok ok
[15:11] Martko Swords: hows about
[15:11] Martko Swords: Sainsburys Mastercard
[15:11] Martko Swords: there
[15:11] Martko Swords: :D
[15:11] Blueray Darkes: :P
[15:11] Martko Swords trys to find bluerays Card slot
[15:11] Blueray Darkes: LOL I shop at Tesco
[15:12] Martko Swords pulls out his tesco mastercard
[15:12] Martko Swords: wheres the slot?
[15:12] Esso Brezoianu: im pretty sure you would have the same chance with a library card
[15:13] Blueray Darkes: Rofl

The Continuum

2009-09-23T04:32:00.000-07:00

I had my time in The Continuum over the months I was there, I made sure to do what was best for the group as a whole and for its individuals. It often made me upset despite the fondness for the group, it wasn't my group and I did my damnedest to make it mine. In the end where does it lead you?

My RP has been conflicting I miss what I no longer had, while trying to make something of what I had gotten. I do honestly like the members of The Continuum, I got to know them better than I would have done had I not been there at all. I had some really good times with them, times that I have had the honour and privilage of having. Yet GMs that are unhappy overall are not good GMs, they become slackers [like myself] and fall in to some rutt. [I became a serious slacker, but still tried hard]

I can go home now.

I hadn't really planned on it being so soon, maybe I figured it would stretch to a few more months at least. After all I was only a temperary solution, specially since I got no idea about what being a cyber is about. The way I took over was odd and estranged, I beat down the grumbles in the ranks and halted those who undermined me. Maybe if I stayed longer I would have gotten more used to the role, or maybe no length of time would have ever helped that sense of not being.

Family is everything no matter the family, I had wanted that imprinted on them. I made sure I stayed loyal and devoted to the family I led, no matter my ties to who or what my first priority was to TCs. Never doubt that.

Goodbye Continuum, we had fun together. I enjoyed the time though I tainted it with my sorrow, I wish you good fortune and luck in the future <3

Quote:

Pontifex: You can take the girl out of the Shadows, but you can't take the Shadows out of the girl.

Pants day

2009-09-22T18:45:00.000-07:00

Whats so special about my pants?

Joenta said she needed my pants and she beat me down for them too, holy fucking hell she stripped them off and then squeezed herself in to them. Picket being well Picket is took it upon herself to go beat up Joenta, after I dealt with some uppity Reck vampire harressing Forneus we took Joe to the porn shop. AND I TOOK HER PANTS!!!

Quiet slapped me in the face with her pants, challenged me to a pants dual and I actually won. I let her keep her pants, I put on Joenta's pants then she ran off with two pairs of my pants.... She practically skipped shouting how she got Blueray's happy pants, as if it was some sort of big deal to have my pants. I don't know its been one of those days I guess...

So why does everyone want me out of my pants?

Oh my god how many times can I say pants in one entry about pants?

Lulz of the day:

[0:41] Grom Prevost: Hahaha, poor Van.
[0:45] Aaryanna Parx: Wonder what made him have to do that
[0:46] Grom Prevost: He just likes Hello Kitty? A lot? lol
[0:47] Aaryanna Parx: then he is gay.. even if in japan they came out with hello kitty for men
[0:48] Grom Prevost: He must be a diehard fan then....supergay...
[0:48] Grom Prevost: He can be our superhero!
[0:48] Aaryanna Parx: hehehe
[0:48] Aaryanna Parx: Sounds good!
[0:49] Grom Prevost: Supergay Man to the rescue! Wherever there is heterosexuality...he will stop it...whereve there is homosexuality, he will join in....he is...Supergay Man!!!
[0:49] Aaryanna Parx: Hehehehe
[0:50] Aaryanna Parx: Oh supergay man save me!
[0:50] Grom Prevost: We just need a giant Hello Kitty on a spotlight to call him now...
[0:50] Aaryanna Parx snickers.

Mortal coil

2009-09-19T09:23:00.000-07:00

Holy fuck what a week, busy and quiet all at the same time. Monday I was powered down getting a few repairs, Tuesday saw Martko give us training but only one TC showed up. However the rest of the city showed up, and they joined in with the combat training.

Wednesday I found Tanapopo thinking she was a Righteous, and of course when Pieter came to call to offer me some work I told him what I knew. He was extremely interested in this, thanked me for my information and later the same day he told me I didn't strike him as a cyber. Body is human, the parts are cyber, the mind is demonic and the heart is still Shadow....

On Friday I heard the Shadows had moved on the church on Thursday, to be honest I hadn't expected them to move so fast. I guess since Tan was his.... PET the speed was acceptable, she had been beaten and her collar removed. A traitor to the House and when I heard I knew that was how she was treated, when she finally remembers I hope she goes kill herself. All who oppose the House and all who betray it, shall have the dark justice inflicted upon them. Skyler well he was pretty pleased with himself for torturing and crucifying an angel, he also scolded me for not behaving in front of this human he was working on. To lure the innocent to be of any use one must use sugar coated words and honeyed behaviour, his scolding was more to do with the fact I had lost my finese and been forgetting who I was..... My brother doesn't like seeing me mortal and I get pissed off when he reminds me I will die some day, the longer I stay as this pathetic human the more I will forget my demon ways.

Saturday was quiet though I spent a good amount of time in the Haven speaking with the mad doctor, he still has that thing with him that woman who is retarded. I want to hurt it. Sex came in to the talk I got no real idea why or how but it did, my mind wondered to where ever my wife and Pieter were. Polygamy for the win no? My body craves attention, my heart craves affection from them both. What ya going to do really? Conversation moves on to the air causing people to be sterile, and the fact there had been no disease for over a year. Gally was tormenting some poor human male sexually, that sorta coinsided with the sex talk previously. I told the doctor that for history in the years before I was here, he should go talk to Pieter for he would most likely know. Fuck it I almost slipped up in full public and called him My Lord, I was so fucking lucky Gally never picked up on it. Who knows if anyone managed to catch it, I really should be more careful specially in the company of Shadows.

Life goes on, I lose more of my old skill set each day. My mind turns to becoming fully cyberised to prevent aging, to prevent myself from dieing and leaving this world. I left for the rooftops I can feel Death close by, or perhaps that was my own self morbidity. I know Death I know how she feels or he or whatever gender Death chooses to be, they are always there trailing mortals all across the globe. Yet I am closet to them more than anyone, the energy signature the special and abused bond between it and I. The fact it had been in control of my body...... Death and I, they say I am not meant to die. I keep alluding them and so that has intrigued them, one day when the real end of the world happens I will embody Death again.. Maybe if I'm still on this plane by the time it occurs.

I do not wish to die, I will live for all eternity. Immorality is but a cyberisation away, for we are ones who live through technology. We alone will survive when all else fails, we are cybernectics we are The Continuum. Resistence is futile.

Tell me why I feel like I don't belong? I'm a leader with a family who will listen to my every word, I am loyal to them and fullfill my duty. I do not belong, the gaping hole grows. I live continously losing myself.

Lulz of the day:

21:33 A new unit for measuring the wobbliness of supermarket trolley wheels was introduced.

21:34 Female-invented colours such as "Lemon, Coffee, Mauve, Taupe, Puce etc" were now banned and replaced with proper colours like Horrahorrawamagong.

21:35 Facefucking became mandatory.

21:36 God finished. Moses nodded. God wandered off. Vertically. - Queen James Bible.

Queen James Bible

Dancing free

2009-09-13T17:15:00.000-07:00

Righteous came for their comms we made for them, and they were happy with them. We got ways they will never think of, trust us or not our backdoors so well hidden that not even their own tech head can find them.

Oh well the day was rather uneventfull, I did go see Pieter and inform him that Janvier had been in the city. I informed him of other things to, and he told me to be watch my back. Confirmations were made, before we went to the Pit we embraced briefly. A stolen moment. The Pit had some entertainment in it, Trixie a Ryder had helped capture a vampire for Mikayla's use. Mikayla is a worthy demoness if I was one I'd be proud to call her such, she tortured that male while she fed from him and his screams were music. Pity that the Ryder chick has such a weak stomach she was sick, I was myself yesterday violently ill but that was more out of fear than disgust. ~I do not fear much, but an Skyler still manages to strike fear inside me.~

I hate humanity...

I left the Pit to wander the rooftops with a new frustration all built up, no damn release none at all. Somehow I ended up in the Haven dancing to the music, the beat is something I always figured had a life all its own. If you swayed your body to it just closed your eyes, feel the beat thrum you its as if the city has its own heartbeat and its that you're dancing to. I ended up stripping for Skyler while I danced beside Gally, she had stripped off for her lover a mutant called Bame. Despite missing the Shadows I really do love my current family, I have the pleasure of being with perverts no matter the faction.

Again I move on leaving the tentpoled mutant to the attentions of Gally, and hoping that Skyler actually studies. Back upon the rooftops I could oversee the city, that is and always will be my playground. Its late the moon is high if you can even see it through the clouds and smog, I'm away from the Haven filled with people and the thrumming music. There is something else I'm listening for, a sound I have longed to hear again since becoming a cybernectic.

Night song.

I listened to the silent night actually straining my hearing to hear it, dis-heartened I decided to dance for no apparent reason other than I can. No sooner had I done so that the sweet, melody laced with sorrow, joy, hate and bitterness reached me, I could hear the night singing and she sang to me. Thus I danced to all the emotions of the human race that the night knew of and she had seen, in my own fashion of worship I danced to her song as a creature of darkness a night child.

For the night sings so sweetly, to those who can hear her.

Lulz of the day:

[18:05] Nivanglus Aya: After I beat Sipha up, he told me he wants you to collar him Rose. He also told me he'd die for it but he only loves me.
[18:05] Sipha Sands: Can some one rape her with a shovel please...

Stupidity

2009-09-12T17:29:00.000-07:00

I hadn't wanted to tell Skyler about what had passed between me and Lorne, but since he invaded my thoughts to see the images I told him anyway. It all happened because I refused to go to the Voodoo shop, though it still pained me to think back on those days I told my brother to leave me alone and walked off.

Skyler grabbed my wrist told me not to walk from him, asked me why him of all people why him. I told him because Lorne was there, he cared and was good at it. He hated Lorne and so his disapproval was something I couldn't bear, I broke down sobbing about my own stupidity. He promptly punched me. Yes I stopped crying to look at him blankly while my nanites fixed my broken cheek and jaw bone, Skyler said he wasn't going to put up with me putting myself down just as he never did before. If he had been in Toxia while we did he would have killed us while we slept in bed, its good to know that matter how we are he will always punish me for feeling less than I should be.

As for stupidity I seem to have it in bucket loads, my aching need for my Lord over rode common sense. After months of not being able to even after my death and change, Pieter became the second person to partake of my new body. We made a heated, passionate reactment of Ktox, we enjoyed every second every moaned word of need, want and desire. Our love is pure...

I woke up in the Pit in the morning alone in the bed though I had fallen asleep in Pieter's arms, his embrace is strong and I wish to do this more often. Yet time has a bad habit of dictating the word no to me, and demons don't sleep so I expected him to be up before me. The bed was still warm where he had been, I got up got on my clothes to make my way to the hotel for the shower. Believe me showering isn't easy for me, I have to remove parts that could get damaged. It leaves me vulunerable and an easy target, its also hard for me to wash myself one handed. So far I haven't let anyone see me like this, I'm independant I would hate to be seen like that.

Showered, dressed, ready to take on the city......

Lulz of the day:

[17:56] DCS2 2.45.8: Skyler Hennesy OOC: lol martko, gotta love the rap songs that become national anthems for about a month

Same old record

2009-09-09T05:28:00.000-07:00

I wondered by the Pit during the morning hours, I don't know why I just tend to always drop by. Its like I need to see it to be inside it, to smell the sulpher and feel the heat of the volcano. Only that demoness who had got tortured was there, Pieter was trying to convince her to eat a soul shard. Not because he cared even if he said its because he cared, always an ulterier motive and a reason behind everything. She got all twitchy when I arrived refused to feed in front of me, Pieter told her to relax that he didn't mind me being there. Didn't mind because I knew his true nature. He shoves the shard in to her mouth and she runs off, while my Lord walks in to the Pit one of my own has run up to me. I refrained from sighing and rolling my eyes, its like everytime I want to walk in there a TC runs up. I know they're looking out for me but its getting tiresome, I'm perfectly safe around Pieter Seelowe. People just don't know him people just refuse to see past what he shows, he guards few people and loves even less and those privy to it earned it. Unlike what Pilgrim believes to be true, Pieter can and does love the whispered words of "Never stopped loving you" still ring in my head and heart. I love my Lord.

And it makes me weak.

The talk was brief the air tense with something not sure what, I was still pent up and though I refused myself my own body kept demanding release. It can wait, it can wait it needs to stop begging me, with my hormones in a complete mess I headed for Haven. The only place in Toxia with hornier people than me, where I can forget my needs and drink to oblivion. Only problem was Pilgrim was there with her Righteous buddies, and we made small talk together while my family took over the bar. At which point Martko comes in gives me a greeting and seemingly walks out again, I don't understand that wolf at all he's really fucking weird. No sooner was he gone he sent me a text message......... How did he get my number and how was his phone working?

Werewolves *rolls eyes*

Not that I mind them after all I did used to be one, but I never understood the need to be with your own kind. Even as a demon if a fellow demon showed weakness or had no pride, then they just aint worth it and should be ended. Meh!

On top of the apartments I found Martko just as he said he would be, he handed me a drink with a few drops of his blood in it. Vodka! I don't know why he called me up here after all I'm not the best person to talk to, when he started talking the first thing out his mouth was the mention of uniting North Toxia. My blood ran cold and I outright told him that the factions never bind together unless there is a common threat, Martko scoffed at me and then says course I wouldn't care and Shadows rule the city. Yep they do and at least he was SMART enough to see that they do, when I was one of them I tried to make sure people knew that and feared them. He said he wished I could go home to them, but that isn't his problem and some things are impossible. The wolf even asked me if I got tired of being evil ~Chaotic neutral some people call me now~, I told him no cos although I was filled with darkness my behaviour is not all bad. Its just askew and always benefits me or family.

Gotta know when to and when not to be bad.

However he didn't probe further than that I can't say whether I was grateful or disappointed, most people who declare the city needs saving and wants it generally try to poke past my behaviour and foul temper. Thats another thing Martko is just playing the same old record other people have played, and it gets fucking boring in a way but it is afterall to my own amusment to watch and make them fall. I recalled the priest Alonzo who had ever been a thorn in my side, and eventually gave up after I made an innocent angel stab him for torturing me. He cracked so hard. When will people realise I speak the truth when the city corrupts people? That the residents here don't give a shit about the word of God, or even want this save our souls bullshit shoved down their throats? We're here for a reason either to escape the laws of man, or to escape from whatever miserable life we lived in before. No law here means absolute freedom.

Martko is an idiot, in a long line of idiots. Seriously he isn't any different from all those others, he acts the same says the same damn things and lives in complete denial.

Today I keep my past, my secrets and my darkness. He declares resistence is futile even though everyone resists, and I well I will be there hindering his way. For now he's due to teach my cybers some combat stuff, regular teachers are nice we really do need it.

Martko the new thorn in my side.

And my mother's words that echo through my head long before this day arrived, and long after I remembered and had already killed - Never kill with dark intent, for this leads to the dark path.

You know I really am sort of glad he never pried, I hate revealing that I used to be a goody two shoes.... Even if I was a violent one.

Lulz of the day:

[22:56] DCS2 2.34: Fae Ferrentino OOC: ack phone? grr
[22:56] DCS2 2.34: GrrBrool Lykin OOC: yes Fae? ring ring? ha

Martko...... Comms and Kishi

2009-09-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

Why is it everywhere I go he is there? Like a constant shadow that seems to be haunting me, Collin bought him to the factory to discuss my terms. Martko.... Damned Righteous always seems so nice, but you ever seen him fight.. You can see him lose control as something inside him snaps, its that I want to get a hold of its that I want to twist.

My terms were to Collin when he came the first time, is give me an apoligy of all those involved for crucifying me. Those of my family who were there at the time agreed whole heartedly, so think what you like its a backed up thing by all. The Righteous refused to the terms we had given, and to be honest it was simple stalling tactics. I didn't really want to make them have comms too soon, specially since it was me who knocked it out. I tried to bargain for Suyuan's soul since she had requested I try to get it for her, again another refusal it wasn't theirs to give it was Griffith's. I do like the vampire we have had our interactions, he prefers it when I'm all badass as it keeps him occupied. He is a worthy adversary, Martko is worthy too in his own disillusioned way.

Martko said he would give us training for combat, that was something we sorely needed after Monk beat us all down. I have to admit I rarely ever rise a weapon unless needed, simply because I do not see strength in one's ability to beat someone up. Strength comes from inside the will to live beyond all hardship, to carry on living when everyone else around you gives up.

Moving on with the day I read a note from Magpie telling me he left me a human Kishi in my tank, perfect what a wonderful way to finish up my day by delivering pain to my ex sister. I yanked out nails and ripped out her spine, I cut her open to put in parts to help her recovering overly battered body. Dwells got dizzy from it all he's still too human, has that guilt in him to make him feel bad for the victem. Once I was done I told her that her payment for saving her life was simple, become a Continuum member just fill out this form and use the clothes in the box when you're feeling better.

Though I was covered in Kishi's blood I bid my family farewell for the reminder of the day, picked up my tome from the Hive and went to find Skyler. I gave him the book made him promise to keep it safe, he said he wouldn't be long with it and I will have it back soon. I had promised Pieter that he could look at that book too, I'm glad that only Magpie, Pieter, Joah and Skyler know of that tome. If everyone knew what it was how powerful it was, then they would all want it and try to take it from me. Hitaroki's tome the only thing of him apart from memories I have left, its not just powerful it has sentiment too.

Lulz of the day:

[17:41] Jonny Ormenthal: I just dont eat things endorsed by dildos

Guess what I did :D

2009-09-07T08:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, yep was yesterday because I been slacking on the journal, I had gone to the Pit as usual since I feel most at home there. That new demon who I dubbed five minute man, simply because he desired only five minutes of pleasure. And it pisses him off. So anyway that new demon was in the Pit also with a demon girl up on the bondage cross, he was torturing her in a way that had me impressed at his newbie skills.

Staying close to Pieter I watched the demon male torture, until my scanner went off that there was a commotion at the front door. Bloody typical that the Righteous would show up, and at their lead was Martko. I hate the fact that there are demons and vampires in a church group, it actually makes me physically sick to think about it. WHERE IS THEIR PRIDE? Fuckers no pride, none at all. Martko was plegded in to some weird sci-fi alligence thing, I can't help but feel a stab of jealousy when he asks for Pilgrim yet again. Martko shivers maybe from disgust when I touch his back, I note these things I always do and its something I will captilise on later.

He spends so much time drooling over that angel, what about my own damn needs?

Screw it.

I left the Pit afterwards and it was some time after that I began to set things up on the church roof, I told them I would get them back for the magnets. An electrotic field that covers the area of the church, and knocks out all their electronics including my own if I got inside of it. Ha hahahahahahaha FUCKERS!

Sooooo

Also yesterday Collin who hates my guts not just for feeding Cid's leg to Skyler, but for the fact that more often than not I'm around Shadows. Hey when my own family isn't around I hang with my old one, it makes me complete and makes me happy by gods I'm still horny from the torture. No relief.... Sigh. I managed to make Collin agree to get me apoligies from all the Righteous who were involved on that day, and if he got it in time I would make the Righteous a new comm system.

Sometimes I don't mind this tech stuff, its actually rather fun to organise to fix the problems that you caused. Score one for The Continuum.

Lulz of the day:

[2:47] Stiletto Vendetta feigns a scornful look at Resty "a rake?"
[2:47] kyo Savira: will you please hit me with a rake and eat me

One year

2009-09-05T09:54:00.000-07:00

Its safe to say that when one marries their demonic sister, there has to be some form of madness or a bond so deep that it requires an outside thing to show the world. I think for Picket and myself its a bit of both, so on this day last year us two demon sisters fathered by Janvier married. Blood fountains, roasting humans, black bible, an alter, all the people we had come to hate and love in Toxian City had come to our wedding. The most hated person of all Dimentox performed the ceremony, we did everything in our own power to make it not mushy at all.

Though I had promised to cheat on her everyday, I don't think I actually managed it at all. For one its a little hard to cheat everyday when you got no one to cheat with, and of course she never did give me that Dutch Oven she promised. We never had to the dishes either...... Ha! We discovered that even though the men who entered and left our lives, we always had one another to rely on that was and is our only constant. I can say we've fought, we've cried and I've lost her to the clutches of Death far more than I like to recount, but I have always managed to find a way to get her back.

Yes at one point I actually hated her for killing Skyler, but that passes as all things pass because she is my sister and she is my wife. No matter what I still love her, I still need to go sow her finger back on. When Picket wants to avoid someone she does it, and is a lot harder than myself to find.

We may not be the forms we were when we started this little trip, but we are and always will be demonic at heart. The trouble making duo sisterwives, who in their own way terrorise the city.

My sisterwife is Picket McDonnell

And without her I would have been left broken hearted, less than a shadow of who I am everytime a man screwed me over in order to hurt me so deep I'd wish to die. I'm sure she feels the same way about me.

Always here for you <3

Lulz of the day:

I will not have a daughter. Although she would certainly be as evil as she is beautiful, once she sees the hero's rugged good looks, she will no doubt betray me to him. - Evil Overlord list

I hate magnets

2009-09-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

I went to the church today I was due for the cross, only I was gonna go just with my family. I hadn't expected all of the Shadows to show up to, it wasn't their problem I didn't know they were gonna be there. Show up they did to support me to back me up and my family, Martko taunted me he seems oh so impressed he cracked my heart plate. Oh nice you almost killed me lets feel proud about it, fuck you; you fucking asshole.

Shit went down Shadows wondered off, Righteous used some magnets to slam me on to the cross. You think this will stop me? You think this will make me scream for forgiveness? I know that the people of the church see us cybers as freaks of nature, I was there when they told Terrox that to his face. I did have him under my control at the time to attack the church, silly that his mind was so easy to grab a hold of. Ah the days of a demon.

They let me down my family is pissed off and so we plan, plan to make their lives Hell because we got the tech and the know how. Honestly I'm still pretty clueless about it all, but I make out that I got some grasps on the subject.

Thank you Pieter for being there, thank you Shadows. My old family my new family I thank them all, and I will always love Pieter my Lord. And there is Skyler he would be pissed off about the cross when he hears about it, we are closer than we were before because I'm teaching him. His appearence now resembles something of my old self albiet male, but there are differences but I feel a great swell of pride I can use a technique to give him all he needs to know. Next up is his powers, I wonder what he has.

Before I decided to pass out for the reminder of the night I encountered Patches, my adopted son who is a cat along with his brother D and his sister Freyja. Yeah yeah I'm a mother sort of. I spoke to him a little before then turning my attention to Delrith and the retreating Cid, I noticed his clenched fists his tightened jaw. With that I decided to harress him as my newest toy of amusment. I figured I'd follow them to the seawall but their talk was boring and I needed to reaquint with my lover Delrith, but before I had chance to say goodnight the red skin Pontifex shows up.

He asked me to arrange a business deal and I agreed to meet with him on Sunday, so we would have plenty of time to discuss the things that he wanted. I am rather surprised to see him back also in the city, and without his angel woman Merma attached to his arm. I wondered what had happened to her, perhaps he killed her since after all he is a demon and its in their nature to do away with mates that displease them. Pontifex also used to own the Nareth, but whatever happened to her is also unsure.

I don't bother to think on the mysteries of people's affairs.... I will go to doing my favourite hobby, watching the city corrupt the innocent people.

Lulz of the day:

[11:12] Skyler Hennesy: Blue likes to play, sometimes her toys get broken. You should see her bill for that sex shop she buys her toys from."
[11:12] Skyler Hennesy whistles loudly and shakes his head 'She's rough, what can I say?"

He was hungry

2009-08-28T08:04:00.000-07:00

After deciding to dub in the demon who claims that Vulcan is like his brother, I had argued with Seto who didn't want to be a demon and was whining about it. Ah good ole Pix she has to tell me my body may not be demon, but my mind hadn't lost any of its demonic qualities. He agreed to meet me at the factory and give me a world of pain, how unfortunate for him that I paralised him with some strange fluid and strapped him down to the med bed.

I took Seto apart feeding the body parts to Skyler, my brother was hungry and eager to eat what I offered. When there wasn't much left I shoved hir in to the tank to fix hir up, made hir in to a cybernectic and oooh look hir problem was solved. No more demon. He was still hungry I took him to the butcher shop, and he ate it all then I took him to go find Ragein for a little revenge. After I had chased down another angel, Skyler had eaten his left leg.

All in all a good day's chaos for me and I felt, well fuck it I felt like me more than ever. When I was finally alone in the factory before I powered down for sleep, I bought myself to a much needed orgasm. Upon the release I fell in to sleep a smile on my lips, I had done something that wasn't cyber like. I was still a Shadow at heart.

Lulz of the day:

[13:04] Narah Ihnen: gah I hate it when moths do that
[13:05] Blueray Darkes: Moths?
[13:05] Narah Ihnen: you go to smoosh them and they just.. poof
[13:05] Blueray Darkes: LOL
[13:05] Blueray Darkes: Poor moth
[13:05] Narah Ihnen: LoL
[13:05] Narah Ihnen: it shouldn't flap in my face
[13:06] Blueray Darkes: You shouldn't pretend to be a light bulb?
[13:06] Narah Ihnen: LMAO
[13:06] Narah Ihnen: thats just my ass
[13:06] Narah Ihnen: XD
[13:06] Blueray Darkes: Damn girl
[13:07] Narah Ihnen: the sun shines out my backside you know
[13:08] Blueray Darkes: I can get warm by your ass o.o
[13:08] Narah Ihnen: yus XD

SPAWN

2009-08-27T21:11:00.001-07:00

Shattered from being upset, all raged out and pretty much sunk in to a rut. I took the human route of drinking down my sorrows, I was mad at Picket and proberly would be for a while. Mad at the stupid angel who fed her his stupid addictive blood, I hated the world and everything in it but that was nothing new at all.

Inside the Haven I gathered up the bottles of vodka drinking them one by one, emptying their burning contents down my throat. I became perfectly blissfully drunk back when I drank after the dungeon event, only I had no dumbass traitor Kumori yelling at me to stop. I think I talked about how idiotic Vulcan was with some guy who was there, someone who admitted to being a Shadow and left before Janvier took over. When I blurted out about going to Coven to get Skyler bought back, he was fucking upset that the vampire was dead and gone. Well duh its why I been drinking.....

I walked or well staggered to the Pit to find a newly spawned demonic Skyler in the lava, I cried then cried like a stupid, drunk human and told him if I could mean it I would tell him I was sorry. Those words have no meaning because I can't feel the emotion behind them, for once I actually wished I could mean it because I failed my brother. *Even if I do want to jump his bone* He didn't understand most of what I said, but he looked sad and kept saying sorry. I told him it was me who failed to look after him, and he just disagreed with me I took him home with me to the factory.

Gods if only I had Pieter here now I wouldn't be such a mess, I kept Skyler with me til he wandered off to the Haven to dance as if its the only thing he could remember to do. I think all I needed was some comfort but I wouldn't turn to my wife for it, and Pieter was on the other plain he goes to; to recharge. I was alone, lost and drunk so I dragged my sorry ass home, looks like I got my work cut out for me to teach Skyler how to shift shape. Good times and at the factory I drank some more, celebrating by myself one big fucking mess... I'm gonna be...

*the rest seems to be squiggly lines as if the writer, had tried to carry on writing and passed out while doing so*

Lulz of the day:

Somewhere along the line mentioning cake and fat kids, brought us to the conclusion that Orcs have sex with baby goats then turn them in to stew! o.o

And then I hated her

2009-08-27T09:14:00.000-07:00

When you hate the sister you love and married, there has to be a damn good reason for it. My reason was justified when I hated her and kicked her, my reason was justified and no one would fault me for it at all.

My sisterwife had killed my adopted brother, the one I considered as an older brother and looked up to. One I sought for time after time when the world got on top of me, and there he would be to reassure me for the better. Now he was ash nothing but ash on the ground.

I can't bear to look at her I can't even bear to be near her, so I'm avoiding her trailing through the city like a lost dog. If I was a demon I wouldn't be crying over him, I would instead be having an angry rampage slaughtering people. Humans are different they re-act differently, I know Picket didn't have any control but that doesn't make it feel any better.

Suppose I can hope that he comes back in some fashion, lots of people come back all the time in Toxia and normally as different things. In my belt pouch I carry with me a vial of Skyler's blood I had saved, and in my mind I carry the memories of the times I spent with Skyler.

No I can't hate Picket forever and I can't feel bad for hurting her either, so I got this strange hole where guilt was meant to be but instead it gnawed and ached in a sense. I know how I'm meant to feel, I didn't even remember how it was meant to feel.............

Come back brother dear

Lulz of the day:

[20:54:03] CP: 5 minutes..........
[20:54:04] CP: .....
[20:54:07] CP: ..........
[20:54:09] CP: ..
[20:54:09] CP: .....
[20:54:12] CP: ..---.
[20:54:18] CP: ..---... -. ..-..
[20:54:30] CP: .. ---....---. ..-. .-.-. .-....---..
[20:54:36] Blueray Darkes: o-o
[20:54:42] Blueray Darkes sends out Pacman
[20:54:50] CP shoots him

Monster revealed

2009-08-26T06:18:00.000-07:00

A day ago we had some human supernatural in our base, chained down to the table and in the name of medical research I brutilised them. Odd that she suddenly became a he but then this is Toxia, and for once around my family I could shed the mask. I revelled in dishing out the breakages, the cuttings and they were around me watching with predatory grins. Flesh is a design the unified voice whispered, flesh is weak and so are the ones we experiment on.

Its been far too long since I talked about technique, Fareabel and myself had one of those talks to see if we could out do eachother. I enjoyed it and I was finally able to show my true nature to my family, though I think that underneath some of them perhaps hate me or fear me for it.

Yesterday though.............. Yesterday my sisterwife on her own request was turned vampire by Pieter, and all of Kaira's damn white fur pissed me off so I shoved her in to Picket's spilled blood. Ooh and that got the little kitty chained to the alter by Picket, and subsequently tortured by her and by myself. Nothing as satisfying as hearing someone scream in agony when you caused it, I think her mind broke before her spirit and will did. This is good for then she will be another monster, something akin to myself and yet I know she will come for me. I'm not afraid let her come, let her enjoy doing to me what I did to her. Pieter healed her though gifted her again, one more chance to walk with Shadows.

You can throw yourself in to the place where you are, but is it truely where you want to be?

I am the monster revealed no longer in hiding, time turns and I bide my time. I have helped create a monster, I will nurture her hate as I have nurtured mine.

Lulz of the day:

[9:49] Picket McDonnell's Tentacle Pet: Oh my FUCKING GOD! You didn't just poke me in the EYE?!?!?! DAMNIT! Does that LOOK like a cock to you, Skyler! Jeeeeeze that HURT!

Return of Skyler

2009-08-21T09:23:00.000-07:00

During the week a lot has happened the main event or the main event in my own concern, is that Skyler returned to Toxia for a longer time than a mere few hours. In fact he has been here all week, and I have enjoyed his company just as much as I used to before. Admittedly most of it was stirring up the Righteous, Skyler worshiped a pew I got a bolter to the head and their distrust. To be around at the same time as Pieter, seems to get me in to far more trouble than I at first thoought. In all honesty I should have expected that anyway, but that doesn't change the fact some think I am in cahoots with the Lord of Shadows.

Am I? I'll let you find out that for yourself, its more fun that way.

Most of the week I spent with Skyler was him being a dork, and dancing down in the Haven since its what he wanted to do. There was also the small event of Pieter trying to rape Pilgrim again, with the Righteous being idiots and risking her existence.

Calleigh was killed but the one who did it was tortured and ran down for harming Pieter's daughter, pity I missed that would have been something for me to see. Pieter also will be getting on the act, bet I miss that too.

Martko from the Righteous battled with me, he broke my heart plate that I needed to fix and I did so by covering it in metal. Skyler visited me at the factory wishing to see my new home, though he says I am lost but not too far lost so I can't find my way back to my old family.

So thats the run down of dancing, of silliness, of stirring up trouble, of my older brother. Even though he says its his fate to be alone, I had to tell him long as he's my family he will never walk alone.

Family walks together no matter if we're blood or not, family walks together even when we're not in the same places as before.

Lulz of the day:

[11:40] Maribelle Beliveau: How did we get from gaming to porn? O.o
[11:40] FangSnowpaws Yoshiyuki: cause porn is gaming with your private parts
[11:41] Maribelle Beliveau laughs

There is a dawn even when its not seen

2009-08-15T09:23:00.000-07:00

Righteous again, the Righteous impaling Jason upon the spike outside the church. Not many months ago it was a Righteous, who had tied a rope around Jason's neck and hung him. I used a lot of energy and effort in to the ritual circle, I used my blood and Dev's I ripped off Dev's wings. It was I and the Shadows who lent their energy, that bought Jason back from Hell and to have that almost wrecked by a hot headed wolf.

Lets say I was not amused at all and I was angry at the fact, that so much work would be so easily wiped out. In protest I made it my personal issue I faced Martko, we agreed to meet up later when neither of our families could be dragged in or have interference from Pix.

I stood waiting in the late hours of the night with what few stars I could see in the Toxian sky, atop the Private Dick building until Martko arrived. We discussed the situation of what had occured, another person telling me to cut my ties to the past. It was long winded and my original violence had receeded in to quiet seething, he understood where I was coming from unlike that idiot Pix. I made him offer me a favour that I can call in at anytime and in any fashion, he agreed to this and offered me a blue rose that I briefly cherised since nothing lasts here.

Once he was gone I turned my attention to the church, I was right that if Pieter wanted to he would be back for more trouble. How amusing and funny that the Righteous were running around the whole city, looking for something that could be even remotely considered as Pieter's weakness. Funny considering the very thing they sought was more often than not right under their very nose, if pilgrim had any sense in that sponge head of hers with the knowledge she sucks up she would know. Hadn't I told her the story of Pieter and myself? Has not the residents of the city, seen me often by his side despite my current loyalities? Why did our jibing of provoking pilgrim in the church not trigger a sudden conclusion?

Let them look for his weakness for I know it well.

On the subject of Pieter it has occured to me that at the times he wants me I was not willing, and the times I severely ached for my Lord he was too tired. In this respect I feel that our times may not match up again for many months, and will conclude at some point at a later date as it had back in December. Though I rarely take lovers to my bed but when I do I'm still picky on who I choose, that and Picket sometimes is forceablly violent to those who she doesn't approve. (So few so very few). I don't choose her lovers, but she chooses mine... Then again I am tired of making my own mistakes, and perhaps in some small fashion she helps me avoid that. I do not think I can stop loving my Lord anymore than he can stop loving me, and in that last statement I have announced his weakness.

Lulz of the day:

[20:15] Jarne Corvale looks up and around at the people gathered, “There is something wrong with this girl.” he says in a loud voice, the type of one saves for public speaking, “And I believe the only thing that can cure her is my penis.”

Things that happened

2009-08-08T21:51:00.000-07:00

Stupid little upstarts...

They will all be crushed eventually either by her or others, she was hoping they would get bored with their rantings. Carry on ranting it only brings more cybers to her door, more cybers for her to recruit and more for the rogues to say she has enslaved.

I had begun to wander the streets once more, to get away from being cooped up in that empty place. I have also sheparded more cybers in some of them new, some of them returning faces in a sea of familar people who returned. Fareabel and Terrox came home at last, but the leadership is still mine. I do not lead with a heavy heart or with a misconcieved perception, I protect my family as I have protected my old one when I was in their ranks.

More often than not I walk alone as always, stricken with my own awkardness and heavy mortality. Sickening this knowledge knowing that I will die again, yet striving to make myself immortal with techonology.

At least recently I been feeling more like my old self, I have weedled out deals either by sheer lieing or being devious. I like that being sneaky saying one thing to then do another, I still had my old skills and no one would know any better. Simply because people trust me more...... Odd city this.

On a side note I suppose I have watched the start of Pilgrim's fall and corruption, just as I said it would happen even when she denied such an event would occur. More the fool of the angel then, more righteous they are the harder they fall anyway. I like watching, when I'm not parcipating. I'm an observer, like my Walker days.

Speaking of notes.....

I remember back when I was a wolf prowling the streets, doing Janvier's bidding though he was really Belial possessing Janvier. Confusing no? Not to me not now, maybe then a bit but I learned since then. I was sent to bring back a human and not just any human, a Righteous one called Vishous. Like myself she became a great Shadow, like myself she became a demon. Yesterday she had it all torn from her she was made human, ripped from everything she had come to know and love. Everything... Sounds familar something I can relate to. Hopefully though Vishous will find herself, maybe stay on the old path maybe go on a new one.

Full circle

Pity mines an oblong.

Lulz of the day:

[17:16] Picket McDonnell giggles and says "I think you like your waffles as much as I like my twinkies" she puts a hand up and says "until they are creamfilled goodness... I'll pass"
[17:16] Blueray Darkes: Try looking in his pants then
[17:16] Picket McDonnell: ha!
[17:16] Keaton nearly chokes

Killing in the name of Terrox

2009-07-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

Why should I allow a known trouble maker join my ranks? Why should I simply because she used to serve Terrox?

I don't have to and thus I shall not, I need no other reason than the one I give. Yet this cyber woman is intent on killing me in the name of Terrox, who I might add is a friend of mine even when I was a Shadow.

Sunrayne is an irritant.

Lucky for me that a lot of people wish to hunt her, saves me the hassle of beating her up again. Listen to her and know she can't keep anything straight, I'm a traitor to Shadows and TCs yet I'm a slave of the Shadows. Right that makes a lot of sense, no really it does.

Idiot...

Lulz of the day:

[17:08] Wotan Aeon: "Yeah..you gonna offer me your cookie?"

Flawed

2009-06-10T09:39:00.000-07:00

Blueray....

They say she was almost perfect, not quite there but so close to prefection to have it obtained easily in the end. However the ex-demoness had been flawed, the only thing she knew of that made her flawed was emotion.

A human thing a human trait to feel too much and too deep, though it was always her anger that ruled her heart and actions. The need for vengence that drove her, though she showed care to but a few her family she kept great fondness for. Love was a flaw in her own demonic nature, that she would endanger her position and herself to save them. Yes she loved but then all beings have the potential to love, unfortunantly for her she was a bit too open about it.

Flawed...

If she perhaps had less emotion and let her anger, hate and sheer contempt for the scum take her completely, then perhaps she would have been the perfect demon the perfect Shadow. Still flawed as she was she did dedicate her life to them, done exploits that won her renown and hate through out the city; such things she had done and achieved were still spoken about. This was perhaps some good news to her own ears to hear, and the Lord of Shadows still held her in high regard.

Abomination. She knew that she had simply gone from one form of abomination to another, and her desire that was mere greed to return to her old way of life grew to torment her. How she suffered with this on her own finding her own feet, to make the best of the situation using her like of The Continuuim to be their leader. Duty and love do not work together one always has to give, like of something over time can become love to deepen the duty and dedication she now gave to her new family. Blueray is a troubled woman besieged on all sides by past, desire, greed, sorrow, all the guilt she couldn't feel was filled with never-ending loss that made her seriousness seem like a cloud over her head.

Isn't it about time she stopped dwelling on the past? To look forward and forge a future with who and what she had? All the while her body dies from the inside out while the nanites continue to halt, the destruction of her own body cells caused by the infestion of toxins. For all her sins she will never repent or say she was a pure innocent, for all her crimes she would do again over and over.

Reformed... Like fuck.

Completely flawed, but loving it.

Lost.

Troubled.

Yet fully determined.

Lulz of the day:

Brandon: Didn't you block morons sooner than 2007?
Blueray: No... Those were retarded morons

Story time

2009-06-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

I return as always to the Toxia docks to take my place as the cyber headfigure, weary and tired from fighting yet rejuvenated to a point. With the release of violence that had built up over time, I found a new calm that had no comparision to it. A raging tempest it seems that needs a violent outlet, some things never really do change at all.

As usual no sooner do I step foot in to the factory, I have dark trouble standing there drawing on my window. Getting out of ear shot of Dolce, me and the dark one went to the waters behind the factory. We spoke with great length, then he left me alone with words that echoed with whispered ferocity.

"I never stopped loving you"

A day later I stopped by the church cornered by Pilgram to discuss Delrith and Vishous, I deftly recruited her for my cause without her knowing it. As if in payment I told the curious angel the history of Dimentox and Toxia, from what I have gathered and also from what I have seen. Bless the little Pilgram she lapped it up and asked for more story telling, she asked for the tale about why Pieter and I are so close. I skipped several details to avoid harming her fragile mind, but told her of the things that he and Shadows had done for me. I think the Lord of Shadows went up a notch in the angel's view, but who can really tell what a mutated pigeon thinks anyhow.

I grew bored with the talk that happened afterwards, and wandered off to do my own things.

Lulz of the day:

Blueray Darkes: I r limpet
Nalen Hamer: Gots to be scraped off?
Nalen Hamer hugs
Nalen Hamer: lol
Blueray Darkes: Thats a whatchamacallit
Blueray Darkes cuddles
Nalen Hamer: barnacle?
Blueray Darkes: Yes
Blueray Darkes: I'm a limpet its different to a barnacle
Nalen Hamer: o.0
Blueray Darkes: Picket just went O.o
Nalen Hamer: went 0.o?
Blueray Darkes: Just pasted what happened
Nalen Hamer: to who?
Blueray Darkes: I pasted convo to Picket
Nalen Hamer: about barnacle?
Nalen Hamer: Sometimes your really vague you know that?

Zaphod - Part Two

2009-05-24T14:59:00.000-07:00

Sunup the next day I pull out a small, tiny cube that unfolded and formed my new favourite weapon. The chainsaw sword that I snatched up and placed on my right hip, I made sure it was secure before heading out to join the small group of cybers. They are all that remains of a pocket of resistance, a few tanks and a few overhead heavy duty guns. Not much of a resistance but these fuckers must have put up a hell of a fight, they were still here despite their numbers dwindling.

"Right then the tortoises are the tanks of their army, take them out first then the rest is easy. Lizards are kamikaze idiots while the snake like ones are the swords people. You deal with what you can, our tanks and guns will take out the big shits". Zaphod told me calmly while all around us gear up, cyber parts of various things clicking and locking in to place. I was impressed by their fighting spirit. "What does that blade of yours do"?

I grin, "It makes giblets".

So we waited for the monsters to arrive a dust cloud on the horizon, in its midst they were there stampeding to us in a blood frenzy. Those things wanted to end our existance for good, but we cybers don't die so easily we live through technology. Flicking out another small cube my moterbike was formed out of it, unsheating my sword I lept on to my bike revved the engine and drove in to battle. I suppose if you know about final Fantasy Seven then you can imagine, that I felt a lot like Cloud Strife right now. Standing on my bike I readied my blade leaping in to the air at the first tanking reptile, however I hadn't expected it to be so damn fast. It knocked me out of the air and using my claws in the ground, I skidded up dirt behind me as I tried to stop my backwards motion. Next time I tried that I used its arm to springboard off, landing on its shoulder and slashing my sword across its throat. It bled to death it fell with a loud, earthshattering crash, I jumped off landing on my own feet.

Splattered with blood I went on the offensive leaping on the dieing carcass, my blade cut and it sang the song of war and blood I killed five of their tanks. By that time I was in my own sort of frenzy I saw nothing but red, I ran in to the midst of those monsters me and my sword we sang together. They retreated away I was breathing heavy, exerted covered in blood....

Zaphod told me well done its time to rest.

My systems shut down.

Lulz of the day:

Picket McDonnell: JESUS CHRIST BANANAS!!

Zaphod - Part One

2009-05-23T08:30:00.000-07:00

My trips to the mainland had been twice now in the space of a week, the first time was mere exploration. The second time I ended up in some desolate city more run down than Toxia, the buildings were in ruins the stone artichecture crumbling. Place was deserted so I thought anyway, turns out it wasn't the case at all. I was dumpster diving for something to eat, unaware that someone had snuck up behind me. When the first voltage hit me it made my spinal injecters unload the nanites in to me, a second charge then a third til I was on my knees while my circurity overloaded. Whole thing fried to a cinder all the fucking wires, the world goes black the last thing I see is a masked face. Before I pass out completely I feel myself being carried, then I forgot everything else as I succumbed to the forced sleep.

I awoke to find myself chained to some table my legs, left wrist and hand had been removed, the chains attaching around the stumps that were left and around my right wrist. I actually have a metal cap with clasps on each leg stump, it makes it easier to attach the legs and keeps them in place. Briefly I struggled while lamenting the once again familar situation, a hand was pushed on to my chest right over the heart cavity.

"Steady now", gruff male voice hinted with a weary note. "Don't want ya hurting yourself". He left so I turned my head to see where he had gone, the male was board covered in scars a wound that was recent still healing slashed over his back. He had fually cybernectic legs and arms, an eye visor I recognised as something my own wife wore. Whoever he was he seemed old grey of hair, even his shorts or what was left of pants torn and tattered. Yet he moved with the fluidity of youth possibly spurred on by his own nanites, I saw my hand limp in his own then he began to work on it.

"What are you doing"? I asked.

"Fixing this ere circuitry, idiot melted it all together. We'll get it running again, don't ya worry now lass".

I sighed as he was more than likely going to put something fucked up in the subroutines of it, but at least the Hive protected us from that back at Toxia. Without here though..... "Hive won't let you mess up my head".

He grunted refusing to answer.

"Who are you though stranger"? This one was female I recognise her voice, I remember her its her fault I ended up like this freak of nature. I lifted my head and that confirmed it, Zaphod that red headed woman was leaning against a doorframe. Her mask as usual on her face possibly with that cocky grin of hers, I glared at her before letting my head back down. "Blueray, I'm the leader of the continuum. You left me in charge".

A sharp gasp, "Lads let her go she's safe, she aint working for them I know her". After I was sitting on the table edge rubbing at my left arm stump and my leg stumps dangling, she came up to me to look me over see if I wasn't damaged. "You changed a lot since I saw you last, they'll fix your shit up without messing it. How is everything, hows the Hive"?

"Fine and the Hive is fine too", I said back to her. Course she would be worried about the Hive she made it, its like her baby and it acts like one treating her like its mother. Now that I could see around the room it was less a room and more like a caved out dirt hole, a few work benches with parts on them the table I sat on and one barely working med tank. Wow what a fucking dump. It felt croweded with three people in here, I bet it was cramped if there was more in here. Sardines in a tin.... "Where am I"?

Zaphod moved to the guy who was working on my limbs, he started re-attaching them soon as he was done with them. I was grateful for them to be back, I flexed my left hand and kicked my legs. All in working order and better than before.

"You're in my birthplace well not this hovel but the ruins above, my people are here they needed me back". She seemed to twitch, "I lied when I said I lost my arm on the boat, it was actually chewed off by one of the monsters here".

I quirked an eyebrow at her, "That would explain why the Toxia monsters never scared you".

"Heh yeah. Milertary here were playing God, mixing human DNA with that of snakes, lizards and tortoises. They succedded but the creations mutated beyond their control, they escaped the lab they were born in decimating the army and the city's people. They tore down most of the city defence, whatever people they didn't manage to kill they left to die on the streets". She looks at me as if asking me to call her a liar, I refused to say anything so she continued, "Those of us who were already experimenting with technologly in humans became as you see us now, we used the same knowledge to help the dieing to live and they joined with us. We figured the monsters would just escape to the wild and not come back, we were wrong the snakes had far more intelligence than their fellow comrades. They began to breed to gain in numbers, then they attacked us and we been fighting them ever since".

Silence fell then I took a deep breath about to say something after all, when some kid dashes in and blurts that the monsters were on their way.

"Distance"? Zap asked barking her question.

"Be here by sun up tomorrow Ma'am", he was out of breath so it stuttered a bit.

"Well then Blueray, looks like you can help us out while you're here".

Great I thoguht just what I needed, a bloody god damn battle that isn't my own to fight in.

Lulz of the day:

Blueray Darkes: I think the cat just farted.

The hidden monster

2009-04-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

Whirr of gears, sound of metal scraping against the ground. Pistons in her new and cumbersome legs groaned in complaint, she walked away from some annoying vampire girl. The cries of "Do you want girl scout cookies"? ringing in her ears behind her, she was heading the small stretch beach that was near the factory. Leaping upwards she landed behind the vampire, her left metal hand lashing out towards her throat gripping around it. Of course vampires don't need to breath but she didn't care it was just to hold her, the cyber woman threw the undead creature to the sand pinning her down with a knee on her chest.

Drawing out her dagger her lips make her grin evily, the vampire girl asking if that is all she has. The blade flashed once under the glint of the dieing sunset, it slid in to the stomach where she began to cut away the flesh. Blood spilled down her sides mixing with the sand under them, still the cyber didn't care using her metal hand to tear away the chunk she had just carved out.

That was when the vampire struck to fight back struggling under the weight of metal and flesh, it was almost too fast to see for an ordinary human but with her enhanced eyes she caught the movement. Her metal wrist smashed against the fangs preventing them from getting near to her throat, punching her on the side of her silly head Blueray shoves her left hand in to the open wound. Tugging out large and small intestines alike dropping them on the ground, the girl tried striking again this time on her right arm. Luckily even though that was all skin and bone she still wore arm guards, can never be too careful in this city of your own form.

With a hiss of pure frustration and anger mostly from the half truths she had been told, she ripped out the vampire's un-used, stomach, liver, kidneys, bladder every organ saving the lungs and heart for last. She crushed the heart in her metal hand as the girl gave up on her existance, picking up her dagger she slashed at the throat the arms the legs. Simply mutilating the corpse for its perfection that she could no longer have, the blood sprayed her since vampires are made mostly of blood instead of water.

Sheathing her dagger Blueray stood her whole front splattered, she once again looked like a macabre thing. Her right hand trails its fingers down her cheek smearing the red stains over her skin, she almost laughed at the fact the thing never screamed. Leaving the area behind her cold, metal eyes were alight with the soft glow of her joy. She had killed and it felt good, there was still some of her old self left. There is no guilt, no remorse, no regret over her horrendous crime.

For those who knew her as she is now, they may never witness the monster she still is. The monster that hides....

Lulz of the day:

[20:07] Blueray Darkes coughs and puts her halo on
[20:08] Sawa Amiot eats Sissy's halo, "Mmm.....tastes like dirty thoughts."

Fire on South beach

2009-04-04T18:12:00.000-07:00

Unseen I stood upon the apartments watching the helicopter go past heading for the beach, since the creature had been caught its legs cut off it was immobile. Yesterday there was sloth serum delivered to every faction, good ole Meg so hard working and deligent. It was the serum that got the creature down, used for the benefit of the city. So I thought.

One of the Agents was beaten and dragged to the beach, the other one that was still flying the helicopter tried to get awawy. The thing was shot down and before it exploded the agent lept for his life, only for him to be swarmed by the residents of Toxia. Both agents were dragged to the beach, I moved to the small archway to watch the scene. They were questioned and it was Pieter's voice I heard who whipped the people up in to a frenzy to kill, it was his voice that incited the mainlanders should be burned. All in the name of showing this government they shouldn't have abandoned us, show them what the city is they will die for the mainland's sins.

Agent Hexicola: "Weren't you all mainlanders once"?

His question hung on the murderous air unanswered, my own silent answer was yes we were. Yet here we are calling this hole our home, and here I am unable to stop the deaths about to occur. He didn't beg for his life he asked to go home, slumped over the creature and lamenting about TV. That's when the fire was started the agents and the creature burned, the two human men screamed while their flesh seared and charred. They were burned alive at the stake, though I thrilled at the murder I knew there had to have been a better way. Once the fires died taking the fleeing souls with the flames, I lept from my perch and landed on the sand below. I addressed the mob, asking all those wasn't there a better way than killing them. Pieter piped up telling me not to be retarded, I said when those two don't return to the mainland they will send more. Again it was Pieter who spoke saying then they will deal with them, in the Toxian way and the Toxian fashion. I turned away from them still feigning I was reformed in some way, and I took to the rooftops again.

Turning to where the beach lay a second helicopter flew over, it launched missles at our supply ship blowing it up in a rather large mushroom cloud. Bogac was beside me he saw it too, I whirled on him as I pointed. "See this is it what the actions cost us, we could have had the Coven make up some potions to wipe their minds or the magick peoples to do mind spells". I guess I was seeing the bigger picture I was a thinker after all, the year of being a Shadow taught me to see the waves of consequences of your own actions. Bogac agreed with me but no one thought of it they just wanted the men dead, and now everyone will suffer for the shit they caused to fall on us. The lycan then began to think of ways to defend our city since there will be more to investigate the disappearences, he suggested my cybers could make the weapons needed and he had a large amount of faith in us.

I went to the streets then and just wandered through them, my mind churning with the crisis that was going to happen. Stopping at the garage I saw some Ryders hanging around Duckie, I was invited in I began to talk to them. Duckie had been captive in the hospital so I told him about the ship he uses to get in supplies, I knew about from a few rumours in the city and what Duckie once told me himself. He was distraught if I can put a name to his re-action, I discussed with the Ryder vampires its not just the food you need to worry about. Its the other things everyone uses too such as moter parts, oil, gasoline, ammo, as I listed it off they began to realise what this meant. I gave a few suggestions on how they can help, they got to work on it.

Before I left South Pieter found me sneaking up behind me, his shadow talons gripping my right shoulder and piercing my skin. He threatened me for using sloth serum for the capture, if I didn't stop using it there would be Hell to pay. Remember the Omegan Institute. I should be angry at him for making the mob murder, for bringing this on our heads. Pieter's words run like lava over me, he lulls me saying he misses me.

"I have my memory of us in K-tox, just us and no one else", I said.

Does he want an encore?

I'm not sure but that time those few hours, will never be tainted by the anger, the disappointment, the neglect, the fact he slams his foot down on me when he thinks I got out of line. I'm a different person battling with my darkness, I feel no guilt or remorse for anything I do. Somewhere inside me my desires to do what I used to do to the people, somehow they feel wrong and this makes confliction. I was once feared and hated, I was even desired by the men. Pieter hugs me we talk more after a while he lets me go saying we should move, I tell him I know its because the ex Shadow who was hated shouldn't be seen snuggling with the hated Lord. So he caught me out this time in the game, bad move on my part to let factions use the sloth serum. Like hell I would stop using it if I can get it, just have to be more careful next time. I wasn't a Walker for nothing, I wasn't council for nothing. For all his threats and smooth talking, he has no real hold on me I can do as I please.

I always do as I please, but I will make sure to guard and defend what is mine. Everything can be manupilated to benefit a whole, another lesson I learned well. Hey its not like I'm going to ever become some twisted defender of the city... Fuck that!.

Lulz of the day:

[18:19] Colleen Marjeta realizes she doesn't want to hear about marriages gone bad and crosses the street to chat with very evil shadows instead

[7:53] DCS2 2.34: Van Reinard Armors SELF
[7:54] DCS2 2.34: Van Reinard hurtsThemself

What the hell? A plane crash

2009-03-31T18:43:00.000-07:00

Not to many days ago some outsider plane crashed on to the South beach, surprising really because I never seen one before. Whoever piloted it was dead and gone, only blood smears left on an empty crate. A kitty recovered the black box handed it to me, I in turn gave it to Meili who ran it to the factory to be cracked open. Once we got the recording it was run to K-Tox, played on air it sounded like something got lose and ate the humans. Unlike the others I didn't shiver or show a sign of horror, I felt a small thrill down my spine relishing what had happened.

I'm still dark no point denying that but my reputation of being feared, that has been lost along with a lot of things I was used to. The city was spending a lot of time seeing if they can find out what was on the plane, it was seen a few time and then the outsiders came to our home. In erm what did they call it? A heli.. copter... Agents of some sort come to collect the thing in the crate, I saw one of them they didn't seem to be comfortable in this place. Who would be unless they were like us who live here?

Pieter visited the factory again this time to use the computers, he was looking up things on distilling and purifying fluids. I questioned him on that but he didn't give me a direct answer, I didn't expect him to since its Shadow business. We hugged before he left me, whispering he wants me in my ear. I went to the window to watch him as he walked on the street, I turned away; for all that he said it wasn't me he needed.

The outside creature had killed Delphina, a Shadow I had known briefly. Or she used to be a Shadow, she left about the same time as Picket did. I didn't want to get samples from her it pained me to do so, I allowed others to get what they needed. In the meantime I got some information from an old friend, that my family was being accused of making the creature. Apprently forty five years ago the TCs had done genetic experiments, this would explain the tanks and cloning facilaties. We had nothing to do with it, he covered my arse and I in turn covered his. Always were a good team, I can see why she loves him so.
~
Despite the upheavel of the agents and the thing they made, the day was rather peaceful. Surprising I would have thought the residents would be out hunting it, unless they can find its nesting place I guess the hunt for the thing can wait til its den is found. Joy. On this peaceful day I stomped my way in to Haven, gave Cosmo a brief greeting and took over at the dj booth. This is familar something I did even when I was a Shadow, to spin whatever music I feel like on K-Tox. Haven was packed full of people, I gave them songs to party to. A small, brief feeling of joy to hide under, while I view Kitteh and Pieter speaking to one another on the second floor. Right after my shift I headed for the rooftops my metal hooves clomping on the concrete under them, going South I remained oppersite of the Fishco to watch a small scuffle. A male demon mentioned something about discord, I sighed because the chaos was all I needed not too long ago.

Still I adjust for this new human body this mortality, I want to live and keep on living. To make sure that I will always carve my presence in to every century, and the only way to do it so far is to go the full cyberised route.

Lulz of the day:

I will occasionally listen to and follow my advisor's advice. - Evil overlord list

Explore

2009-03-27T09:58:00.000-07:00

In an effort to understand my new family and my new self a bit better, I took myself and Picket over to the mainland. From there we met up with a demon who supplied us both with teleportation spells embedded in stones, the first of which took us to what was known as The Wastelands.

And it is exactly what the name implies, it is a wasteland with sand as far the eye can see. Scattered about are a few dwellings, and mostly piles of scrap metal here, there and everywhere. Seems that the whole thing about cybers is that they scavange, and this was after all the place where the first cyber that stumbled in to Toxian City came from. Picket and I got bored she decided to go home, I however got a call patched in to me from Terrox.

Using the stones we were given I went to Ayin, Picket went back to the factory. In the cyber base of Ayin I was greeted by Terrox, he seems to be doing well for himself in this place and is well established. I told him of the few things that were going on with the TC's and in Toxia, until there was some disturbance downstairs of the place. Interesting that they have tanks where they grow fetuses in, of course I was more interested in gutting in them than letting the things live. A couple of demons had ripped one of the babies out and the female was eating it, Terrox says there is some sort of deal with them. Demons eat what they don't experiment on, and they have to do some things for the cyber group in order to get fed. Unfortunantly they had damaged the tank and Terrox was fuming at them, he got called out though to some further dispute outside. I took that time to leave and head home.

Lulz of the day:

[17:47] DCS2 2.45.2: Carlos Bosatsu is full of fail and ends up accidentally stabbing himself

... Stop

2009-03-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

She did not flee from the Pit more like she walked calmly away, a few words with Kytara is all she needed before moving on. The few Shadows who accepted her and accepted her place she cherished, the rest were nothing more than creatures snapping at her heels. It was their torments that shattered her, their torments which would have stopped her remaining as a Shadow.

If only Jason could see that if only he could understand that, the pain he gives her with his heated words. She only wanted to make him realise she didn't deserve to suffer in the Pit, that it would have been the end of her. All he can do is call her traitor, demean her in front of Kytara so they battle with meaningless words.

"I should have left you in Hell".

She didn't mean it as in regret more like foresight, she said it out of anger due to the fact he rather treat her like scum. A real traitor would have just struck using their knowledge, instead she only made a strike when they had striked first. These are no actions of a coward either, simply the actions of a woman surviving against the odds.

Why can't you accept me?

Lulz of the day:

[5:36] Goa Sin: ha, look what I got mine to say "I WILL END YOUR WORLD AND YOU KNOW IT! BWAAHH! *LAZERS*"
[5:37] Carlos Bosatsu: XD!
[5:38] Carlos Bosatsu: the day a penguin shoops whoop is the day Blue says "im asexual"
[5:38] Goa Sin: lol
[5:39] Carlos Bosatsu: oook i think the penguine is lost in my hair...
[5:39] Carlos Bosatsu: hrm nope
[5:39] Goa Sin: forget that, it's in your head
[5:39] Carlos Bosatsu: nooooo!
[5:40] Goa Sin: THE PENGUINS ARE IN MY HEAD AND TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!
[5:40] Carlos Bosatsu: I KNEW THEY COULDNT BE TRUSTED!

Where does that leave us now?

2009-03-15T22:48:00.000-07:00

She stands in the factory looking out over the city through the dirty window, before turning from it to do a small routine patrol. Only she was called back because of a demon a sniper rifle pointed to Dolce's head, typical of the scene for it to be Jason. Momentary flinching the gun at her own head now, she tries to calm the situation. Jason tells her straight she should have come to the Pit, not spread rumours about him around the city.

Blueray pointed out that anything she said about him using Meili as bait and threatening her, was documented on a tape and was thus fact. They made a deal she stops the rumours he doesn't kill her new people, he said he had beaten up a Convenite. Terms are set and of course the hot headed detective didn't like it, they lacked everything from fighters to members. He wanted to fight he wanted her to use all she knew against them, she couldn't do that she just couldn't and she needed to protect the cybers. Detective stormed out enraged at her because of her decision, she knew deep down she had made the right one and after talking to Dolce on several matters she left for the streets. Good thing she came across Calleigh then, and it was Calleigh who confirmed Jason said the same thing about her faction. Seems someone is pulling strings and for once it wasn't her, his lie was laid bare he hadn't touched a Covenite at all. Typical.

From the alleyway to the beach she walked side by side with a human male, a male she dropped fast when the old call came from home. She didn't think on it she didn't need to, and there he sat in her factory the Lord of Shadows. Her lord. Blueray's heart beat faster in her chest, out of fear for what he might do to her. He cut her off she changed tactics their conversation had bumps in it, she had been edgy for days from the attacks all she wanted was it to stop. Pieter said he wouldn't stop them he wouldn't help them either, it was between her and those three so she was trying to keep the factions out of it. Just wished that detective saw that, that she knew best for the safety of all.

Once more she was standing by the window looking out down South, it was hard enough to keep the cybers trust without being seen with Pieter. The choice is yours he said, go against us or stay a friend. Business is business they both know that, the old rule family before friends. Guess both sides needed to adjust, her to being how she is and the Shadows for losing her. No matter how she tried to shut it out she still loved Pieter, they were okay again not in the same place as before but somewhere different. And when he left he called her Bluebie his pet name he chose for her, and to his leaving figure she whispers "Walk in the Shadows".

Where does that leave us now?

I wish I knew...

Lulz of the day:

[0:14] DCS2 2.42: GrrBrool Lykin OOC: my lady wife laughed . . ..
[0:15] DCS2 2.42: Lorne Harlequin OOC: and what about your male wife? Did he laugh too?
[0:15] DCS2 2.42: GrrBrool Lykin OOC: he logged . .. .

Blue Toaster

2009-03-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

Pit is no longer home, they are no longer family. As a matter of fact they have turned on me, and I feel like a traitor though I never betrayed them. I was their Council, their leader when the Lord was absent, doesn't matter now its just grains of sand in the wind. I could have told them all what happened, with their anger and their insults. I had no reason to say anything.

While I stood on the library roof with Runo and some white angel, I got a phonecall from Aaryanna saying Picket was torn up in the graveyard. I had enough bad news with the fact Delrith was gone, and now my own wife had returned to be butchered. I left then to go get her, I took her to the factory to save her. Aaryanna and Brianna followed, while the tank repaired Picket's body Kishi came to visit and I called up Denenthorn.

The tank did its job I set her on the medbed fixing a respirater to her face, new bodies they just can't handle the toxic air not like a person who's been here a while. I went to find more parts to get Picket dressed, those two Shadows were hovering around the bed suggesting they should kill her. No one threatens my wife.. not even old family.

Abomination... I heard that before I used to call myself one, Hell would have called me one because of the two heritages. Now its Kishi who whispers the word to taunt me for what I have become, and I am reminded I have lost my immortality. I prefer Blue Toaster!

Brianna asks for glue and she finds it only to glue Picket's horns to her head, sick very sick but its what she would do. Is this what it is like to be on the other side? I wonder how Quiet coped having her Prowlers targerted by them, seems I'm on the same page as her now with very few to back me up. The Shadows would not leave but at least they wouldn't harm Picket, I got her dressed and fixed and Denenthorn got her soul back for her. In the meantime some Omegans came and Aaryanna called for the Pack, still the Shadows did not leave even when asked or threatened instead Jason showed up. He threw his two cents in too, the one who said he would always be there when I needed him. His back was turned on me too.

I fought Kishi running out on to the street, our fight was longer than before when we had sparred once. I still went down all the same I just can't fight all that well, in my defeat Kishi took my tail melted it right down. Hot metal scroched me in a miniature torture, I never thought I would be treated this way at their hands. My TC's came to me Native took me in to the factory, placed in to the tank to heal my flesh wounds. Fine said she could find scrap metal to make a new tail in a week, Mark II is almost fixed after the damage done to it by an ex member. TC's want revenge, I deny them it because I know better. I know the Shadows I know the members, and I bloody well know what they are capable of. All the information I gathered and all the secrets learned, I will keep with me never telling a soul. I will take it all to the grave, even the knowledge of who the beast is.

For your treachery Jason, there is a bullet with your name on it. I won't tell you who has it, nor will I stop them from shooting you. I don't have to save you, and I don't have to kill you.

Also it may seem I have to push old grudges aside and make alliances where I can, the Pack is right next door though I keep them at a distance. The old Pack who raped and tortured me a year ago is no more, my hate for the lycans will have to die in order for me to move forward.

I'm the Blue Toaster, with a breaking heart.

Lulz of the day:

125. Lingerie can only snap coincidentally so many times per day. - From 925 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG

Severed, so be it

2009-03-10T09:40:00.000-07:00

Zaphod had asked Blueray over to the factory for some routine IQ tests, hook her up to a computer to monitor brain waves. The demoness in her curiousity of things she didn't know about, poked at the screen with a claw causing her to let off a small volt. That is how she blew up the T.A.R.D near the beach, accidental zappage. After all this is Toxia and the computer wasn't wrecked just boosted, when bought to full power to begin....

Power surges running from Blueray's brain to the machine she was connected to occured, the mini light show was amazing but led to a deadly outcome. Blueray's whole entire essence got downloaded, the body was empty and devoid of all that was the demoness. Trust the angel Denenthorn to pick this time to show up at the cyber base. Zaphod was distracted what with the detective blabbering on about things he found out, and Jewell connecting herself to the medbed and blowing her parts. The only thing she could say was, "Blueray is dead, I think I killed her". You can't really kill a demon, they have no vitals to start with. Denenthorn whirls on the Overseer, demanding that she has to be joking. When he checked the body he knew the aweful truth, she was gone from her shell that she loved so much. Zaphod turned her attention to helping her members, the unthinkable happens and the angel is left to his own devices.

What was Blueray had arisen from the med bed flipping elequantly on to the floor, it landed those lightening eyes staring blankly at the people around it. The voices rose several of them in unison, they wanted to be free of the abominiation they had been forced to make. Detective questions it asking if it Legion both it and Denenthorn denounce that name, while they watch it the Overseer woman sending Jewell on her way.

"We will be free".

Clawed hands reached for its chest no one moved to dumbstruck in confusion and horror, as it cut open its own even while its Belial blood would heal it; it kept going tearing the skin so the healing took time. Blood spewed on the floor splattering around its clawed feet, it was covered in its own blood the fluid pouring down its black skin. The horror felt and seen reverbrated around the medbay, Denenthorn pleads with the thing to stop destroying the shell. However it simply broke the bone caging that protects its heart cackling at the angel, with its own hand in its chest those clawed figners gripped the dead organ.

Denenthorn cried out, "NO"!

It tore the heart from its body causing another spout of blood to burst forth, the voices laughed as they fled back to Hell a lingering of flame while they mocked him.

The connection to the Shadows was severed and lost. Her shadow bought up all those vodka bottles she stored within it, the jar of Janvier's blood and the tome of Hitaroki. Her shadow spoke no more the gift that had been upon it gone, Denenthorn in his sorrow picked up the tome.

Zaphod lept in after that she ordered him to shove a piece of her in to the tank, she said the essence was still in the computer and they had one shot at getting her back. While those two set up the tank for cloning and wired the computer to it...

Blueray was nothing more than energy roaming through the database, exploring all the data and absorbing it like a sponge. All the things she didn't know because of how she grew up, she knew now from the wonders of the internet. She even spoke with the Hive, but it didn't like her being so close to it.

"Okay when I tell you hit download", Zaphod said. "NOW". The button hit Blueray's essence cleansed of all its demonic traits was dragged back to the new body, a human clone replica of how she used to be before the wolf bite before her deaths. There was a soul in that body, soon as she was living the two pulled her from the tank. Zaphod ran off to find spare parts of cybers, she came back carrying the box quick as she could. "Hurry hold her down, we don't have much time before the atmosphere kills her".

A new body one un-used to the poison and toxious air that premeats the city, it got in to her lungs her blood stream. She thrashed upon the metal floor in agony, screaming while she choked unable to breathe or even remember how. Such was her throes of agonising death she mangled up her legs beyond saving, the pain kept striking her she was used to pain this body however was not. Zaphod reached for a needle on her arm, drawing it forth she drew nanites from herself and injected them in to Blueray. This was to stabilise and to start repairing the damage to her internal organs, rummaging around in the box she found a respirater mask she put on her.

Denenthorn the angel who really shouldn't care held Blueray down, spoke in soothing tones telling her to calm down. Her mind was a mess and a jumble with the pain refused to orginise itself, there was no time for the usual meds before operating. Zaphod hacked at the mangled legs with a small saw, removing what was damaged and attaching new metal ones. Nanites did the rest re-building her eyes and organs, while everything settled the Overseer dressed the woman to hide her naked body. Both of them moved her to a bed to rest to recover, the medbay was a mess of blood and body pieces. Sighing Zaphod pottered around cleaning up the corpse and parts, without touching that Belial blood she incerated the flesh with a flame thrower. With nothing but ash of the old one, she was about to start mopping when a call came over.

On the mainland her old group was being attacked, they needed her back with no other option she was gone.

Blueray had the situation explained to her she broke down crying, Pickt was going to be mad but at least she was still alive in more ways than one. Over the next day she took charge of the cybers, the leaders were gone vanished and she believed she couldn't return to the Shadows.

Truth be told she was terrified of going back as she was now, and more than once that day she holed herself up in the factory. After cleaning the medbay of all the blood and bottles, she delivered the Janvier jar to Fishco then visited the church. As usual when things bad happened the Shadows gathered, she was silent and scared to see them. Fear was not new she was afraid of the dungeon and nothing else, now she just feared a lot of things. Turning from the place she began her work with the cybers, gathering information on the beast that attacked felines. Blueray knew who and what it was, but she would not betray that she knew such things. It was the last loyal thing she could do for the Shadows, before she would have to do what she must to defend her new position and group.

Blueray visited the Pit to be confronted by Dante, he was angry at her she knew that. He said the link could have been mended, she knew that it couldn't. What did she expect? To be welcomed back to her family as if nothing happened? She had no choice but to lead, and she couldn't go home. Kishi called her an abomination wanted to see her bleed, that was Kishi for you and Blueray admitted that perhaps the statment was true. There was no going back at all not with a soul, not with what she was and what she had to do. Shadows did not want her nor did they want to acknowledge her, in effect in that one night she had lost more than they ever knew.

So be it.

No longer did she serve the one she loved, and now the choice of going after the love she married was available. With a heavy heart yet determined one she would throw her loyality and duty in to her new "family".

Gone is her demon heritage of two fathers, gone is her magicks and gone are her bonds. A new life, a new chapter.

Once a Shadow...... always a Shadow.

Lulz of the day:

[18:41] DCS2 2.45.2: Stryker Galaxy OOC: sneaks a peek at the size of bri's pole and feels ashamed
[18:41] DCS2 2.45.2: Brianna Willenov OOC: hopefull boggy i wanna kill something
[18:42] DCS2 2.45.2: Daniel Roddenham OOC: *chuckles*
[18:42] DCS2 2.45.2: Arthores Faulkes OOC: haha she has a bigger pole then you
[18:42] Brianna Willenov stood at the empty sim border and pulled out her fishing pole xD

Tested, broken ties

2009-03-06T21:57:00.000-08:00

She walks from the inside of the Pit the smell of the lava strong around her, that blue tail of hers in this semi form she takes whipping behind her. For once her feet are normal and booted, walking to the door she stood regal, tall and proud between Kishi and Brianna. Upon the steps were Omegans among their number is Joah, Joah who kissed Blue back in the days when they shared such things. Her heart beat faster she pulled her spirit sister to her, in front of the two Shadows she kissed Joah back before shoving her away.

They wanted in to the Pit in to her home, normally she would allow it but the answer had already been set by Kishi. Blueray informed the small group that Kishi as a long standing member her word was better than the blue one, and as such she would not make the Shadows doubt her loyality or her duty by over ruling another.

Stalking in to the Shelter she finds Joah feeding another blood, her temper flared how dare she put her on the spot. It just made her blood boil, even with the curiousity of Nareth's razor around she didn't care. And it happened.

Blueray's refusal to let her in to the Pit, got her rejected by Joah. The demoness howled on the inside, in true demonic fashion declared her dead. For so long she had guarded her now it was done with, she wouldn't look out for her anymore.

I'll rip your fucking heart out

Her words lingered on the air as she stormed out, blinded by rage by sorrow any other day she would have let them in. Leaping to a rooftop the places she sought her solice away from Shadows away from the scum that roam the streets, she drops to her knees putting her face in to her hands and cries. As steadily as she was becoming disconnected from her family, all the ties that kept her here were breaking too.

Tick tock tick tock...

Blueray cried.... and the never ending sorrow consumed her

Lulz of the day:

[19:38] Picket McDonnell checks her e-mail and sees something that says "Dear Autumn we have an offer you can't refuse" hmmm she thinks... could be interesting. She opens it "Is your penis too small" well yes sir it is! Its invisable! I don't think it can get smaller then invisable "pay us $100 and we will send you a miracle pill" wait wait sir that's where you've lost me... I am not paying $100 for pills "But wait! Theres more... we will also send you a fancy elastic thong" WOW! elastic thong? Count me in.
[19:39] Marv Whittaker: ...whast this miracle pill supposed to do?
[19:39] Picket McDonnell: make my penis bigger
[19:39] Marv Whittaker: but.. its invisible
[19:39] Marv Whittaker: isnt that like saying you dont have one?
[19:39] Picket McDonnell: well hopefully it will make it bigger... then it will be super invisable

Restless one

2009-03-03T08:14:00.000-08:00

The streets are almost emtpy from the aftermath of the Dagon climax, it was far too quiet again and I ached for some chaos. Something, anything it had to happen, alas far too caught up in my own self to think on making such things. The rooftops are home now more than the Pit, where once I had made my presence known in the city I was now harder to find.

I was glad to see Skyler upon one of his visits to Toxia, I caught him up to date on things. We spent little time together but I cherish it all the same, he noticed I was not as content I used to be. Skyler said if I was ever to leave I should put Hitaroki's book in the safe keeping of another, it took everything I had to not rage at that suggestion. Its my tome and I will keep it, thank you very much.

Even so I spend a great deal of my time alone now, Picket's gone she left the city though I feel it eating at me I can't go. Looking over at the Pit with a deep sigh I would turn from it, in there is my current Lord he who used to be Guardian. It seems the seat is cursed for twice now he has been possessed, and both times I felt like breaking on the inside. I am weak for being in love so I have been told, so let me be weak and let me love let it hurt me for all its worth.

Nothing matters anymore.

Claws of my feet scrape the surface of the ground I walked in, digging and scoring as I dared to walk upon the buildings. This is the city I called home for a year, loved and lost and missing those who left and pining for my sisterwife. Things aren't the same anymore they won't be the same again, where ever I roam is places she used to be and where he still lingers. My family is here, my duty is here and I hoped beyond hope she understood.

I'm torn in two to follow the love I married or to stay for the love I serve.

Lulz of the day:

I will make it quite clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy"... I just choose not to show any. - Evil Overlord list!

Weakness

2009-02-20T10:49:00.000-08:00

Emotions, feelings and anything that did not conform to blackness, is a weakness inside a demon strong as she is. She did not laugh unless she caused pain, she did not smile unless another cried, she did not enjoy unless they had sorrow. For all the discord she carried with her, she was still somewhat flawed in others eyes.

For one she cared...

Whether it be for the individuals of her family or her family as a whole, or those she had connections to outside of it. The fact she cared so deeply was weakness, and she was told this to her face. Emotions will cloud her judgement, besides it was a human trait.

Think of the family as a whole do not endanger their lives for one person, the losses of a few outweight the losses of many. Always, always she must guard the House and think of its safety first, it is not the first time nor it will be the last she is Lordless. It was plainly seen to many that she perhaps, had far too much placed in him. Weak and it is weak to care oh evil one.

Speaking of those she would guard or even trust, she waited in the library eating cookies waiting for Joah. Her spirit sister under threat from one of her own, who she warned that if she sees him harming her there will be Hell to pay. Arthores said he got the go ahead from Lorne, she pointed out she didn't care what Lorne said. Joah is her sister only she could hurt her, he better hurt her when she can not see. Of course she informed Joah of such things, for as all know Shadows come first and foremost. She will not punish what she has not see, once more Joah was reminded of the knife edge she walks on.

Even if she did trust few of the Omegans she would still stab them, Grr had once before asked Blueray to trust him as he trusted her to be what she is. Magpie however was a different matter, and the relationship between them was a stange one. They would tease and taunt one another as was the manner of angel and demon, but often or not they turned to serious conversation. Before she left the library saying she is used to losing everything, he whispers to her that she will always have him. Conversation was long mostly going over how fucked up they both were, then the Pack was bought up and what happened to her through them.

He wants to destroy them all, to wreck the den and bring them down. Him and few others like him would do the same, how such terrible deeds spawned her in to what she is. Alas what is done is done....

Her heart grows weary as she feels her uselessness greaten, they do not need her like they used to. They can make do without her, the last two weeks have proven that. Thus her days here are numbered, all it will take is time. Yet she loves the Shadows dearly, she gave them all that she had....

Lulz of the day:

[2009/02/18 18:16] DCS2 2.45.2: Raven Ebi OOC: blue your feet make me think of a blue chicken

Confused...

2009-02-11T04:40:00.000-08:00

[Warning: Contains scenes of a sexual nature :P]

Okay there are two Priests roaming the streets, one that is for Dagon and one that is against Dagon. The one against desires to have recruits who it will pick of its own choosing, unfortunately that has led up to us losing our Lord and Nikita to the Priest. While Lorne and Kishi endeavour to gather information researching this, Dante has taken it upon himself to proclaim himself a temperary Lord. I decided to let him as it has been often or not the Guardian's place to do just that, and I have been in and out of the city a lot recently.

Pieter... How was I to know something was not right? I hugged him as I always do and he drained me, at the same time Quiet drained Aaryanna. Father also returned to the city I had heard rumours, he was looking for family for some reason and my first thought was perhaps do me harm. Luckily my true self was showing to prove that I am a daughter of Janvier, he was impressed of how I looked how I shaped the shell I inhabit. Even my father is no match for the possessed Pieter, we will get our Shadows back.

So it seems the city is a battle ground, the epicenter of some ancient war that is older than the hatred between wolf and vampire. Nothing surprises me anymore.

Dream sequence

Inside her shadow doth the blue demoness lay, curled tight with tail tucked between her legs. If seen one would deem that perhaps she lay as if inside an egg, her nature quelled in the depths of dreaming her features of angelic beauty possessive of a smile. Oh fiend, oh monster, creature of base desires of no morals, the perfect abomination fashioned by the corrupt city. Yet it is in this time hidden from the world, that anything of her human self utterly shattered as it was would show. Unstable in mind during her waking hours masking her intelligence, it was here in slumber when everything settled to allow her true freedom. Freedom from the burden of appearing strong, freedom to be a woman first and a demon second.

Briefly stirring she shifted in her sleep a murmer of the hunger that raked her, both the need of her stomach and of her demanding body. In answer to the silent call a figure loomed beside, tall of stature and seemingly muscular the form taut. Masculine in shape with no discernable features, he is the faceless stranger of her dreams. He moved silently no sound at all betrayed him, he knelt placing one knee between her legs to ease them apart his over beside her right leg. Gently his hands reach for her tail soothing the palms over the scales, in response it uncurled away from her body. Easing his knee against her crotch he rubbed it over the area, a sound of amusment rumbled in his throat when she went on to her back. Too easy.

Good thing Blueray slept naked and he was also unclothed, he looked down to see his knee that was now slightly damp. Using both his hands he widen her legs apart further, now laying on his stomach his head where his knee cap had been. He lightly spread her pussy lips in a fashion suggestive of parting flower petals, tender fingers held her open while his tongue slavered a path over her clit. Above him the demoness moaned her eyes fluttering open, she knew she was dreaming thus she had no sense of panic. Perfect he thought flicking circles to make her clit swell further, when he drove his tongue up inside his mouth clamped upon the sensetive flesh. A gasp broke from her rolling past her lips, unbidden sounds of pleasure and her hips bucked against him. Gripping his hands upon those hips he pinned her down, burying his tongue in deep to taste her liquid center. He did not relent in his taking of her, his teeth lightly nipped and teased his tongue a tool of desire licking her most teasured places. She burst like a bubble being poked, he drank her down every drop.

Turning on her side once he let her go she stared at him, he was on his knees fingers curled around his now hardened shaft. Slowly he stroked his length tempting the woman to come to him, when she knelt before him he stood to rub his cock tip over her trembling lips. Her own tongue long of reptillian nature lashed out to lick the underside of his length, he shuddered giving her joy of one small moan that prompted her. Sliding him in to her silken mouth her tongue coils about the width, her lips encircled him completly and drew him in further. He appeared helpless now lost in his own ectasy, he grips the top of her head with a hand and thrusts in to her warm mouth. Forced to take him she slashes her claws dowh his hips that drove madder, her coiled tongue squeezed as it soothed along his heated skin. Fangs came in contact with his tip, softly grazing enticing to spin him out of control til he bucked unable to stop. Drawing back her tongue she snaked its way in to his slit, tenderly sucking to give him pleasure as he had her. No longer could he be contained that with a cry, he unloaded down the back of her throat before pulling away. A few more strokes of his hand he spilled more upon her supple breasts, she purred in earnest her hunger not yet sated.

Growling feircly his erection non abaiting he forced Blueray to all fours, behind her he knelt grabbing her hips and brutally entering his cock in to her. She was willing she was ready the passage easy, the tight vice of flesh instinctivly tightening sucking him in. Laying over her back he snarls again begining a steady, hard yet slow pace seeking to go deep within her, he surged forwards sheathing himself inside her to pull back only to thrust in her. Rhythemtic it was and she picked the motion up easily, using her own body to move in time with his becoming a unision of lust. Both their cries were heard as they sought to please one another, her claws scoring the ground while his nails raked along her sides. His teeth found her neck he bit her, elicting a louder cry and he drove in to her faster, harder. Heat of their bodies becoming almost unbearable skin against skin, it all felt terrible good causing each sensation each spark of passion to build in them. With stiffening muscles, arching back she threw back her head to howl while her orgasm broke and gushed, crashing through her like an ocean wave breaking against a sandy beach. He joined her once her undulating inner walls massaged his cock, filling her with his hot seed as she milked him dry of all he had.

They fell together in a panting heap, legs entangled about one another. Still inside he moves against her, she groans full from the meal full of him. She let him take her let him slide in and out of her, she wraps herself around him moving to be on top to ride.....

Morning breaks I wake fullfilled by who or by what, a dream just a dream it had to be. I can go a few more days without feeding though, I used my last soul stone... Still just a dream but it felt so real, I haven't had a dream like that in years. I enjoyed it.

[My writing is lame XD]

Snow is melted

2009-02-01T09:39:00.000-08:00

The journal page is written in two different handwritings, one is Blueray herself [Italic] and the other her shadow [Bold] (Also its a post of a few days events)

The snow is gone melted all over the city, I spent a few hours watching it vanish from sight not even slush behind. I remember the city I grew up in all the snow would melt and be slush, there was none of that here as if the toxins in the air prevent it. While I stood watching I conversed with Alynna, a demon of reputation that I have seen a few times and once back when I still had fur. I rather like her but some Shadows have an issue with her, apprently she glares at them. They don't understand she's a demoness she acts like one, and I act in kind around so have gained mutual respect to one another.

I guess I spent most of the day talking to her, she was interesting and we discussed mainly demon classes and powers. I told her of Delrith and of Janvier how I was turned, I don't normally talk about that stuff unless I feel like it.... Ah well, I moved on.

Library... Always this place but my mistress is right it has been a center for chaos, and she needed a meal she was starving. Staring at the fireplace Denenthorn greets her sneaks up behind, Dragonheart he calls her I don't know why. Bridgette was here too the human girl my mistress can't kill, watching my mistress and Denenthorn. Bridgette got very insistant that the two kiss and swap spit, mistress spoke of what she needed in order to feed. However with the urgings of the human girl, Denenthorn leant down bundled mistress in to his arms and he kissed her. The response was slow at first she had been taken off guard by it, mistress blushed though I could feel her get hot. My poor mistress has been neglected of late, it is no wonder her desire flared.

There is no greater feeling than temptation, so great that it tends to drown out the love one feels. Source of my temptation is the one my sisterwife loves, the tightrope I am walking on is a precarious one. He kissed me first he drove me in to being tempted by him, I was caught up in his own emotions not mine. Just once I want him just once, and I hear Picket snarling behind me.

Delrith found me I had left the city to find my own personal nesting ground on the mainland, he had come to where I had set my place should be. I was down to three soul stones now I had no proper meal except two days ago from chaos, Delrith fed me gave me a full meal even if the time was restrained. I forgot about Magpie forgot the encounter, all I had in this time and now was the intimacy and love I always held for Del. Love that I had for another and thus now was I in the boundries of polygamy, unsure and scared to invest everything that I am in to one person.

To be honest, why should I?

Lulz of the day:

[11:17] Quiet Thunders: hi blue so do you know where toxia is?
[11:17] Blueray Darkes: No sorry never heard of it
[11:17] Quiet Thunders: ok thanks
[11:18] Blueray Darkes: No worries

Abomination

2009-01-27T08:18:00.000-08:00

I am.... an abomination.

Down in the depths of Hell when Delrith as his human self craved power, his body was unable to be corrupted and thus a body was created for him. Mephisto fashioned a form made from several demons, in its chest placed a heart of a Hell-born Dragon. Its blood molten lava and to hold the thing together with demon essence and a human soul, thus the human was ripped from his earthly body and placed in to the new construct. Delrith Bolero son of Mephisto was born, the power of the demons that made him his to command. And his soul corrupted beyond saving, until the day he saved himself.

I remember the day his body was souless nothing more than a beast, a raging creature with no bounds to hold it until they shoved Dev in there. Good thing to or he would have fallen apart without a soul in there, things became normal again once they could soul swap them back around.

Belial is a Prince of Hell his brother is Lucifer who rules over the kingdom of demons, the black demon has a personal war that has been fought for centuries. Perhaps it was the desire to take over the surface world and these endless fights, that caused him to try and break free from the bonds of Hell. Belial's foe is the Arch duke Mephisto, but now the duke has no one to fight for Belial is sealed in a stone.

I'm an abomination to my own kind...

Never before is there a demoness like myself, I say Picket is the closest to me but even then I say it to make myself feel better. No one is like me I'm a perfect combination of two demon bloodlines, though the Belial line overpowers the line of Bolero. When Delrith gave me half his heart he inadvertly passed over some of the demons that made him, Joah said she could hear them screaming inside me wanting to be free.

Blood, essence and heart of Janvier the one who spared me a fate worse than death, he completed me so I wouldn't waste away. Pieter helped he gave me a soul to eat, when I needed to keep going. So yes I'm powered by Belial and I stand proud on that fact every fucking day. I've also have fiend in me because of Delrith I understood the tongue he spoke in, he said they come for me drag me to Hell and take back the pieces I'm made of. I will never be free to just live my afterlife, I will be made to suffer for what he did for what Janvier did.

You want to always be free and uncaged?

I'm always free

I've got power, freedom, a place to call home, people to call family. I do not need anything else. I am a child of Janvier, a grandchild of Belial.

Still an abomination, for my flesh is of a fiend.

Lulz of the day:

[16:43] Arthores Faulkes: anyway just wanted to make sure you were told about it, night man *sings you to sleep* what is love? baby dont hurt me, dont hurt me....no more! HA!
[16:43] Pieter Seelowe: GRRRRRRRR!~

All change

2009-01-20T10:59:00.000-08:00

It started out all bloody innocent as most things happen to do, Picket was losing her marbles becoming a cat. What do I do? I throw open the link between Picket and me so I can get her mind back in order, its something I can do much like the communication link between all us Shadows. Only I kept our personal link open too long……

Morning comes along I wake as usual something is a little off, everything looked it was further away than usual. You know because Picket is taller than me everyone would appear shorter in my vision, I shrugged it off since weird things happen all the time in Toxia. How weird can it go when you are called by your sisterwife’s name and not your own? VERY!

Pieter and Shaynee called me Picket, I instantly went on the defensive saying I wasn’t Picket. Alright even I didn’t know what had happened at first, when they tell me I sound, look and smell just like Picket the things start to click in to place. Course I was getting wound up in the process about this whole thing, the longer they called me Picket the more aggitated I got. Pieter said he could help me told me everything was alright, then his stupid fucking mind trick hit me full force.

BASTARD!!

Cum clock round two. I was furious I shoved him away from me, the one person who I figured would have known it was me didn’t. Last time he did that to me he told me I had to ride it out, I would have been able to stop him if I was in my own body. Much as I know Picket’s body on the outside the inside of it was completely alien to me, her mind was an unguarded thing and she had no mental barriers to protect even my own since I was bloody well inhabiting it now. Running from him and Shaynee I went to the FishCo explaining to Quiet what Pieter had done, course she laughed but took me or Picket not sure at this point inside.

First one hit…. Picket or is that me shows up instantly freaks out calling me a pod person, whatever the fuck a pod person is. Far too wrapped up in what was happening to us to even stop and ask, we went outside showed her our reflections. We tried fighting eachother we had gotten that bitchy, she also wasn’t pleased what was happening to her body. Today was fucked up from the start I didn’t need anymore trouble, heading to the voodoo proved fruitless since Elroy wouldn’t help us. Fine to the library then. Our wanderings were stopped by Pieter who figured it would be funny to taunt us further, I was already pissed at him and his stupid ramblings of who was who just got on my nerves. Eventually we got away from him and you think that things should calm down, but oh no.

Inside the library was Nareth, Grr, Redd, and Denenthorn, I don’t exactly know why but I started smoking in the place. Right aftere that the third orgasm hit me nice I had a show again, Picket got riled by Nareth she actually went for the chair bound girl. More trouble ensued Denenthorn even had to put his foot down, fourth orgasm hit by the fireplace and Pieter howled with laughter. His laughing echoed in my head but eventually I was subdued since he told me to follow him home, I uttered a “Yes my lord” and trailed after him back to the Pit. Picket wasn’t happy he called us bitches she went nuts and left, I followed her beat her ass down and took her back. It was Pieter who changed our essences over back to our rightful bodies, we’re still on her shit list and though I was concerned for Pieter he was still on my own shit list.

I was barely in the mood to make hassles in the library, Redd annoys the fuck out of me and I sat outside on the lamp post calling someone. They never answered their phone I needed to talk to someone, I figured they were the best bet since we had been civil the last time. Eventually I left the library area after Nareth was being a bitch again, she may think she is all that but she is nothing. Rooftops are perhaps one of the best places to be, barely anyone can find you at all when you don’t want to be found. I wasn’t even trying to hide.

Jonathon snuck up behind me not easy to sneak up on a demon who has a shadow that moves of its own accord, it told me he was there and he sat down beside me offering me a pack of smokes. I told him what had happened why I was up here, after he declared Pieter to be a prick he said I needed to confront him since I don’t normally sit back and take shit. As would happen conversation turned to speak of the family we missed, where we would go if we died and who would be waiting for us. I told Jonathon I missed Skyler as he would be the one who re-assured me, hugged me, hit me if I needed it and gave me attention, but without the one I called an older brother I got lost at times. I couldn’t even believe I was showing weakness in front of a Righeous, but he didn’t seem to mind it was like I wasn’t wrong in doing so. Jon said that in the end we all get what we want and what we need, I told him recently I got neither and he suggested a change in company and scenary.

Right now that idea seems really tempting, even demons get weary of the same old thing.

Lulz of the day:

[2009/01/20 15:42] Picket McDonnell is hit with pieters testicle directly in her chest, though she does not react. This body had proven to feel no pain. She just closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, her fury and stubborn streak proving to be a horrid match.

Messing around

2009-01-17T09:44:00.000-08:00

It wasn't until after I woke up that I put some of the pieces together, Grr had said he was talking to Hatter the other day. Hatter was meant to be gone along with Reaper, but both had returned and when my mind kicked in to full gear. Perhaps they returned because Picket ate her own soul, the fact it happened only after this is far more than coincedence.

I would need to talk to Denenthorn on the matter.

And I did. Only he refused to admit they were back at all, he was in denial and I was enjoying by messing with his mind. He told me not talk about Nareth getting hurt, or the fact she called him grandfather. I goaded him until he had got angry enough for his wings to come out, one white wing one black wing its why I called him Magpie. After I handed him two feathers he called my accusations childish and stormed away in to his portal, I left the library laughing hard.

Love is....

I had dropped to all fours my hands touching the pavement, feeling the concrete under my palms. My fingers curled slightly I scratched the ground with my claws, this was something familar it was simple. I bunched up my body feeling every muscle go tense, begining to feel like a spring wound too tight. My legs pushed me forwards it took a few seconds before I coordinated, hands and feet I almost tumbled head over heels. I got my stride back I was running like I used to, often times I love to run more out of hyperactivity than anything else. Sometimes running helps get my thoughts to straighten out, I had recently asked Omegans about what love is.

Perhaps I was confused on the matter myself, I had an ache that couldn't be fixed. Yes they said it is possible to love more than one, possible to have love that hurts and possible to love and lost. As I ran through the city feeling constrained on more than one level, I turned over the thoughts thinking of those I had loved and lost. Thought of the one I still loved, and the one who made me ache.

He still sends shivers down my spine!

Lulz of the day:

[20:41] Stralack Hayek gets cloud out here and he kicks some major butt
[20:42] Blueray Darkes sends out Squall but he just emos in a corner
[20:42] Stralack Hayek: lmao!
[20:42] Blueray Darkes: .... I HATE YOU

Jealous?

2009-01-16T21:46:00.001-08:00

I'm not jealous of the women Pieter goes after, I have no reason to be considering how I am. After all I'm married and we cheat on one another, but I didn't want a certain Cont getting near him. She spends far too much in the garage consorting with Dev Bracken, in my eyes that's dangerous so I made trouble.

Told her what I thought and she didn't like that, but I got told off by Pieter for making trouble at his expense. I see it more like at his benefit but we sometimes didn't share the same view, of course arguing in front of six people doesn't make it half the city. I never said that either. I have to behave now or I will be in serious shit, I can do that I just like a little chaos.

I suppose I better find another lover, one that can cater to my appetite, my needs, my desires. Then I think of Pieter......

And my world crumbles

Lulz of the day:

[13:08] Seether Difference turns to the lady in black standing in the street.
[13:08] Cordelia Cuttita nods toward the male vampire standing near the park.
[13:08] Blueray Darkes doesn't do anything but stand in the middle of the street
[13:10] Pieter Seelowe just runs past quietly

Return of Reaper

2009-01-13T08:27:00.000-08:00

Sometimes just sometimes things actually happen around here, and when stuff happens it does it with a bang. Tonight was one of those times and I happened to be around, I always seem to be around when shit goes down but that's just me.

Denenthorn was first to contact me via a mind link, odd I know he had done it before but I never pondered on how he could use it. The previous time he did it I was not in the best of moods, for everything he told me was about my brother. Most of my communication relies on the Shadow link between me and the Shadows, but there is another mental path if someone knows its there they can use it. Maybe thats what he used as he asked me if he could heal the Nareth, I couldn't care what he did to her to me she wasn't important. To me that wasn't the same Nareth but any and all Nareth belong to Legion.

Nareth had been hurt by the red skin Pontifex and obviously left to die there after, I had stalked in to the library to hear that she wouldn't stop feeding. It must have been extremely serious for her to take large amounts of blood, I half taunted them saying she should die since she had already died before. Grrbrool got all uptight telling me to piss off or call Legion, much as I enjoy calling out the broken one I at first refused. Not my problem not my concern but being Nareth is Legion's toy, I relented sending out a message to Lorne even as Denenthorn protested in my head about making Legion come. Too much chaos even for him, this coming from what he is HA.

I offered my blood to heal her now they refused me, I was going to taunt them further but an angel distracted me and led me outside. Pretty little thing a new Omegan in their midst full of innocence and naivity, I don't really like white wings they drive me nuts with their aura. For once I managed to hold back the urges of ripping her apart, there were other things going on when Lorne showed up I went back inside. Perhaps not the best of ideas of him to bring Brianna with him, he sent her away when it got to dangerous for her. As he worked on healing the Nareth I fed quietly on the chaos all about the room, after the extremely large burst of fire that came from the wounded woman the books went nuts.

Books flew off the shelves and began attacking all non Omegans in the library, I simply ignored them whatever damage they do to me heals so I didn't care. The library spirit was stressed its mood not helped by some interfering Kindred, nor was it helped by some curious Shadows that came by. Eventually though Denenthorn ordered all non Omegans but myself out of the library, the books resettled back upon the shelves once they had all gone.

However even in the calming quiet all was not right specially not with Denenthorn, his peacock blue eyes went violet just for a second. That wasn't all his shadow was not of an angel it was now demonic in apearence, my own shadow poked and prodded it while making a large fuss. Before I left I asked about the silver razor that had appeared around his neck, he said he was looking after it guarding it. It once belonged to Nareth..

Somehow all these things are connected, I'm going to tell Picket about Denenthorn.

Lulz of the day:

[16:41] Brianna Willenov: whats totally worth it o.O
[16:42] Blueray Darkes: Cutting kitty cats
[16:43] Brianna Willenov: Making meow mix? :D
[16:44] Blueray Darkes: Yes made from real meows

The big debate

2009-01-04T21:07:00.000-08:00

Choi Zhangsun looks puzzled at Jon's abrupt departure, and follows.

Jonathon Coage stops and his hands fly to his back, guns tucked in his waistband under his shirt "What do you want..."

Blueray Darkes looks over her shoulder, she had a blank expression. "So hostile... and you call me moody. You ever seen those small wooden chapels? Made out of logs like my house used to be, only they were bigger and looked like this place sort of. Back then I used to believe in all that religious shit, til my parents were killed....".

Jonathon Coage perks a brow "Excuse my hostility...just seems everytime a Shadow is in here lately one of mine gets torn up.."

Blueray Darkes: In case you haven't noticed I have been gone for a few days.

Choi Zhangsun: And how long has the "No Shadows in the Church" rule been going on now..?

Blueray Darkes: Since when did we ever listen to the rules of mortals and lesser ones?

Jonathon Coage's hands twitch but his voice calms "Well it's been happening...is there something we can do for you, Blue?" Jonathon Coage grits his teeth "Do not insult me in my home Blue..."

Choi Zhangsun rolls her eyes, "Here we go again.. You're no greater being Blue. You're just a puppy we took in who went bad."

Blueray Darkes heaves out a breath, "Sorry Jon". Shakes her head at Choi, "What did you expect really? After what I went through you expect me to stay all pure and good? Paths change by fate or choice, mine was fate I just took advantage of it". She grew silent, "Anyway I was just remembering my old church, two hours drive by horse and cart since my father hated cars".

Choi Zhangsun: People have gone through worse and stayed good...

Jonathon Coage softens again, his hands leaving his back and at his side "I'm not pure...nor am I completely good. What I am is someone who enjoys doing the right thing. You don't need to be either to belong here, you just need to believe joy is not received by the pain of others."

Choi Zhangsun steps forward and wraps her arm around Jon's waist as a show of support, even though she knows his words won't have any effect.

Blueray Darkes: Parents murdered, house burnt down, grew up on the streets, bit by a wolf, killed with dark intent. Raped while having my back flesh cut off, ankles smashed, guts mashed up, lacerated muscles, ripped anus, bashed up shoulders, stabbed, dragged and beaten. *pauses* Joy is in found in lots of things....
Blueray Darkes: Yes Choi can really stay good after that

Jonathon Coage puts his hands on Choi's as he speaks "Do you know what kind of pain is felt when a mortal who is Divine has the blood of Dimentox in him?"

Choi Zhangsun looks at Blue hard, "And I've been through a lot myself. What happened to me in the Pit.. What Jan did to me outside the Haven..having to almost kill my own mother.. And yet I'm here, and you're there." Choi Zhangsun looks up at Jon, squeezing his hands. She didn't know about that..

Blueray Darkes puts her hands in her pockets arguing about the point of life events with Choi was rather pointless, she looks at Jon with a slight flick of her tail. "It hurts like burning hellfire I bet, same as a holy weapon used on a demon that flays their essence to shreds. The agony is unbearable...".

Jonathon Coage nods slowly as he nods to his office "Come on I think a convo like this requires some whiskey and a couch..."

Blueray Darkes: I can't drink whiskey....

Choi Zhangsun scowls but follows Jon.

Jonathon Coage perks a brow "What can you drink?"

Blueray Darkes: Anything that isn't whiskey, you know what that stuff does when mixed with my blood. Imagine it in my bloodstream

Jonathon Coage smiles softly "I have a little Vodka too...and I think a few cans of soda somewhere back there."

Blueray Darkes: Cool vodka and coke.

Choi Zhangsun: Jon do you still have.. the ones you got for me?

Jonathon Coage opens a bottom cabinet taking out two cans, one of coke and one of mountain do. He closes his eyes and his hands glow, chilling both cans frigid. He tosses one to Choi and smiles "Of course..."

Choi Zhangsun bites her bottom lip, and grins around it, intensely pleased he still remembered. She catches it and pops it open and sits, nursing it slowly.

Jonathon Coage leans back down and poors the cold coke in a glass, mixing some vodka in slowly before rising, handing it to Blue and taking a seat "For the record it was agaony...especially since I refused to feed..."

Blueray Darkes takes the glass taking a seat against the wall, she must be in an odd mood for her even to be this sombre and polite. Holding the glass she stares at it befora taking a sip, "Agony is a common thing in this city.....".

Jonathon Coage nods slowly "Experiencing that agony, I realized such pain is not something I wish for someone else to experience. In understanding pain fully my desire to protect others from it grew.

Blueray Darkes: See thats where we are different Jon, where as I know pain to the fullest. I only deem to protect my family and inflict pain on others, that is my nature these days.

Jonathon Coage shrugs "I use it to do the same, only I care for those outside my family as well."

Blueray Darkes rolls the glass in her hands, "Few outside mine get that privilage".

Choi Zhangsun heaves a sigh and decides to concentrate on her soda, since she rarely has any, rather than stressing herself out by arguing.

Jonathon Coage perks a brow "Do you think if I had been leading the Righteous when you were assaulted it would have even happened? Thats my aim, to stop what happened to you so senselessly from happening to others."

Blueray Darkes pulls her knees up a little taking a gulp of the vodka and soda, "I deserved it, I don't care what Del says I betrayed the Pack by my curiousity for Shadows". She shook slightly holding the glass tighter in her hand, "Its a good aim if you believe in it, but we will clash on it Jon. When I and mine are dishing it out, you're there stopping our fun".

Jonathon Coage nods "I know...but ponder this...what would you be like if it had been stopped. Further...would you ever want to see the same happen to another?"

Blueray Darkes: I suppose if it never happened I would be more neutral, I could have been an Omegan or something. -Closes her eyes for a moment to stop the soft hell glow of them- If I was still in that old frame of mind I wouldn't want to see anyone go through it, but I aint like that and I rather like corrupting people....

Jonathon Coage puts a finger in the air "Ah. Now what is fun about corrupting?"

Blueray Darkes finishes her drink hands the glass to Jon, "You take something that is innocent and twist it, make it in to something with a far darker purpose in life. You accomplish something not many would dare to do".

Jonathon Coage takes the glass and rises to refill it "Now what about taking something dark and reverting it back to neutral or even good? Harder or easier?" Jonathon Coage fills the glass with the still icy cool coke and pours in some vodka, returning to his seat and handing Blue the refill.

Blueray Darkes takes note of his movements, "Its a lot harder to turn someone back to neutral or good, I should know because the priest failed with me". She takes the offered glass with a nod, sips it gently making an aahh sound.

Jonathon Coage smiles "Now since it's harder, I find a much greater sense of accomplishment in it. Even though it's harder and happens less often I find it more rewarding."

Blueray Darkes: We can make them bad and you can try to make them good again, like a never ending cycle of one trying to accomplish what is their goal and their nature to do

Jonathon Coage nods "I agree there is a great need for balance...both sides require one another to exist. However when the balance is shifted, there is a serious problem. At the moment it is out of balance...and when corrected it will most likely be off balance to the other side."

Blueray Darkes blinks, "I really don't see anything out of balance right now, yes everything always has its oppersite. Like a coin has two sides, each side represents a different force in the world".

Jonathon Coage nods slowly "Yes. I wonder though Blue...could you ever see yourself changing again?"

Blueray Darkes runs her tongue along the rim of the glass, she tips it to her lips drinking half of the liquid. "Not really no, I enjoy being how I am far too much".

Choi Zhangsun continues sipping at her soda, finding to her dismay it's almost gone already. Damn small cans..

Jonathon Coage looks down to his hands and flexes them slowly "Well maybe one day that will change...I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have you in this family..."

Choi Zhangsun's eyes widen, she hides it behind the can as she tips it up to drink the last of her soda.

Blueray Darkes chokes on a mouthful of vodka and coke, "You serious"? She coughs thumping her chest with her fist, "Doubt it would happen unless the Shadows fell, I worked hard to rise through the ranks to second in command. Worked hard to earn their respect, and work for their benefit".

Jonathon Coage shrugs as he watches her choke on the soda and smirks a bit "It's just a thought. An interesting one at that."

Choi Zhangsun gets up to dispose of her can and sighs wistfully, wishing there was more..

Blueray Darkes takes a gulp to soothe her throat, "Demons don't really belong in church, sounds to me like you're plotting something".

Jonathon Coage smirks as he watches Choi "There may be another can in that cabinet...hand me one and I'll chill it.." he looks over to Blue and shrugs again "Del was one of our best members, a Knight and to this day a legend here."

Choi Zhangsun perks and leaps towards the cabinet, rifling through it. She gives a triumphant crow as she comes up with the very last can. She thinks briefly about saving it for later but decides to just have it now, being an instant-gratification kind of girl. She plops back down on the couch and hands it to Jon.

Blueray Darkes: Del who became an Omegan, left the Omegans and now wishes to ask the all important question to me. Legend has basis in truth, but it becomes something else over time.

Jonathon Coage chills the can with a glowing hand and hands it back to Choi while talking to Blue "None the less...in his time here he was excellent and a true savior for some."

Choi Zhangsun nods her agreement and opens the can.

Blueray Darkes sighs softly, "A fallen saviour... ".

Jonathon Coage taps Choi's knee with his fingertips idly "All saviors fall...it is their fate. Their glory is found in the fact they freely accept it so that others may prosper."

Choi Zhangsun smiles at Jon and scoots down in the cushion to move her leg closer.

Blueray Darkes: I see...

Jonathon Coage rubs Choi's leg as he talks "But...thats my view on it at least. Others may differ."

Choi Zhangsun purrs and giggles at the same time, half-snarfing her soda, because her leg is ticklish.

Blueray Darkes stands up handing him the glass again, "Heh, I think I better go now".

Jonathon Coage takes the glass and nods "Of course...I do enjoy a little intellectual debate though, thank you for it."

Blueray Darkes smiles and felt uneasy now, the PDA not to her liking really. "Its not often I get the chance to show I have some intelligence, but then whats the fun in letting the city know I'm far from a simpleton? You are welcome".

Jonathon Coage smirks "Well...the guise I suspect is quite useful."

Blueray Darkes turns to head for the door, "It has its uses like a lot of things".

Choi Zhangsun: Good thing we know better.

Jonathon Coage waves as she walks out "Be safe, Blue."

Blueray Darkes looks back once just to grin, "Choi you are one who thinks of me as simple, stay safe yourself Jon".

Lulz of the day:

[0:21] Arcann Dyrssen: ((Dude, you could do me a massive favour by wandering over to Nareth and kicking her in the rear for me ^^))
[0:21] Pieter Seelowe: rofl
[0:22] Pieter Seelowe walks up slowly behind Nareth and punts his foot forward, hurling it towards her ass with a smirk "Think you owe this to an old friend"
[0:23] Arcann Dyrssen: ((I want your babies.))
[0:24] Pieter Seelowe: QUOTED
[0:24] Arcann Dyrssen: EXPECTED

Back to Toxia

2009-01-03T09:04:00.000-08:00

She walks along the dark path the dust coming up to curl around the toes of her bots, each step taking her further in to the encompassing blackness. The demoness blends in with the pitch black of her skin, her white hair, her blue markings those eyes of hers show up. Her eyes of blue and yellow that glow with hellish light, the cat like pupils wide within the darkness.

Far from being a singularity she is a composite a combination, as she reminds others of her great heritage. Delrith made the flesh, Janvier gave her heart and essence. There are those who whisper she is more than what she has become, the whispers happen to be spoken from more than one source.

Potential always with the potential speech, or the save your non-existant speech.

I halt in my tracks looking back at my burnt down house, I felt my wings twitch involuntary. Putting a hand to my face I walk onwards, the flashes of that night how haunting my waking moments. Whoever that was who did that to me when I find them, I will thank them then I will fucking kill them.

Anyway I have to get home back to Toxia, I miss the Shadows my chosen family. I've been disconnected from the mental link too long, I must have news on what has been going on while I was gone. I miss the endless chatter of their voices in my head, all I got right now is the silence or my own thoughts. No worries tomorrow I will be at the docks, and I will set about to make my terror.

~An alluring demoness possesses great beauty, her voice is that of an angel's. For with poisoned, honey words she will lure in her prey, but be warned her heart is blacker than the blackest night. Do not fall for her angelic tones, she will devour you completely. And the blue one is no expection~

Lulz of the day:

[16:34] Artoo Bellic: Hey Rest can I scream in your ear really loud?
[16:34] Restroom Chemistry: being good is bad for your complexion
[16:34] Restroom Chemistry: sure!
[16:34] Artoo Bellic: Ok!
[16:35] Dante Dodonpa claps his hands together loudly and looks to his kitten "FUN TIME!!"
[16:35] Rylie Druth smiles
[16:35] Artoo Bellic runs over to Rest and creams really in his ear "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
[16:35] Artoo Bellic: scream really loud*))
[16:35] Artoo Bellic: ((Hmm
[16:35] Restroom Chemistry: (I prefer it the other way)
[16:35] Rylie Druth: 0.o ))
[16:35] Artoo Bellic: ((Cream in your ear?
[16:35] Bohny Spad: ((lmao-dead))

Retracing steps - Part four

2009-01-02T17:18:00.000-08:00

My birthplace is nothing more a charred mess, the blackened frames had fallen on to itself. Nothing but rubble now and old memories, moving among it I found the bones of my parents. I couldn't really do anything about them, I didn't want to do anything either.

I dropped to my knees grabbing at the ash of what used to be my house, closing my eyes I see the murders and the fire. Shuddering I stood up my eyes flashed once I couldn't be sad, I spent many years with out my parents. Perhaps if I find the one who wrecked my life, I could repay her by taking hers.

I felt a surge of power the human form fell away, my horns and scorpian tail burst in to view. My skin darkened to its coal black the blue markings showing up, since the tainting of Death on me I had grown a little in strength and power. Down the back of my head grew spikes, on top my horns shifted even my tail changed its form.

Time to go back to Toxia.

Lulz of the day:

[22:44] Lorne Harlequin looks towards Asher, atempting to make it look like Brianna is doing the kitty ears equivalent of the can-can
[22:44] Asher Blitz: ((spits water on keyboard))
[22:44] DCS2 2.42: Blueray Darkes OOC: Rofl
[22:45] Asher Blitz: ((needs a new set of initials, "SDAOTKB" spits drink all over the keyboard"
[22:46] DCS2 2.42: Blueray Darkes OOC: Hahahahaha

Retracing steps - Part three

2009-01-01T17:11:00.000-08:00

Passing by the park of the city as I headed for the boundries, I stopped to go inside of the wide greenery. This place was as large as half of Toxian City, the one thing I don't like about date rape park. It's too small.

Under the green tops of the trees that lined the paved walkways, I walked with hands in my pockets kicking at stones.

"You look human but you don't smell human", a male's voice that I assume is connected to the legs that appeared in my vision.

I looked up to come to face to face with a scruffy, looking man, he pulled a cigerette from his mouth flicking the ash aside. Shrugging my shoulders I walked around him, he got back in my way.

"Well!? He asked.

I shrugged, "Well what"?

The man chuckled, "What are you? You aren't human".

"Demon", I gave him a sly grin, "You yourself aren't human if you can tell I'm not".

Rubbing his nails on his brown stained shirt then blowing on them, "Vampire".

I didn't give him a chance to say or do anything else, I had thrusted my hand in to his chest grasping my fingers around his heart. Grinning I yanked my hand back ripping it out, the blood sprayed all over me from the hole I made. Holding the heart in my hand I watched him fall to dust, I ate the heart walking away from the dust pile. A few seconds of fire when no one was around cleansed me of the blood.

Random violence?

When I was a kid in that park and he was human, that guy stole the few pounds my brother and I had made.

I love being a demon.

Lulz of the day:

[20:47] NeonFlash Caliber nibbles
[20:47] NeonFlash Caliber: this is my first non dom char too :3
[20:47] Blueray Darkes bites
[20:47] NeonFlash Caliber melts
[20:48] Blueray Darkes gathers and puts in a jar
[20:48] NeonFlash Caliber: o.O
[20:48] Blueray Darkes puts a top on it then sells on ebay as Neon jam
[20:49] NeonFlash Caliber: Guaranteed too give you stomach cramps and exploding tongue on consumption
[20:49] Blueray Darkes: XD
[20:50] NeonFlash Caliber: Mwahaha

Retracing steps - Part two

2008-12-31T09:24:00.000-08:00

A dust cloud forms around my feet from the small impact of my landing, my wings retracted along with my horns and tail. I wanted to appear as human as possible, I wanted to refrain from making a scene. Incognito!

Returning to the streets I grew up in is strange, I see everything differently these days. I see the faceless masses, sheep to the slaughter to die at my claws. Walking briskly leaving the hum drum of the city, I slipped in to the grimey alleyways that I used to call home. My old sleeping spot was occupied by some tramps, dressed as I was in my street clothes they didn't even move. Silently I slipped in beside them at the barrel and no one moved, only a few grunts sounded that with a look I squashed it.

Warming myself standing there I could see in my clouded vision, the faces I remembered from those days that no longer matter. I'm half awake just dozing until I get nudged, they were whispering about me in barely heard voices. In the midst of these dirty men an old lady withered by age and weather, spoke in a hurried fashion telling all I was the wolf who returned. Grinning wickedly to myself I took their souls as I left one by one they fell in to the snow.

Anyone who would find them, will think they froze to death.

Lulz of the day:

[10:44] Ava Whalen purses her lips together and smirks, "What sort of trouble are you up to?"
[10:45] Pieter Seelowe takes a step closer eyeing down upon her gazing into her eyes "Same as everynight Pinky, try to take over the world"
[10:45] Ava Whalen stiffles a laugh.
[10:45] Blueray Darkes: Narf!

Retracing steps - Part one

2008-12-30T19:33:00.000-08:00

Following the murder of Partak and the fornification with Pieter, I decided to spend a few days away from the city. Standing on the docks I waited for the ferry to arrive, I would get aboard head to the mainland that they call America. Though once there I wouldn't stay I was simply using it as a small step, shifting out my wings feeling them rip my flesh. It healed once they were out giving a small few flaps, I lept in to the air taking flight my intention to go over the ocean. I will write more once I have landed back.... England.

Lulz of the day:

[16:05] razzi Reisman: Can tails get stds?
[16:06] razzi Reisman: Cause if so.. Pieter's tail probably has gonsyphoherpeaids

Pieter Seelowe

2008-12-27T21:40:00.000-08:00

Vampires roam the city in great numbers or in pairs, of course some some vampires happen to be alone. From the day I saw him I felt he was different from other vampires, day in day out I tracked him. He was a small piece of a large puzzle, put together to form a shadowy picture.

Pieter is a Shadow.

While I dug around looking for Shadows gaining information, it was to this mysterious man I gave anything useful to. Not many know how much I truely owe to him.

I was gradually becoming more mouthy the longer I sought in dark corners, the longer I stayed in this city it affected me. One chilled evening saw me arguing with a human female, I was a wolf back then with a reputation to earn and a point to prove. The human called Tanika made me eat dirt, she was about to break my legs with a baseball bat. Until Pieter stepped in.

Another evening and I'm hanging around with the Shadows, a Righteous vampire under the name Picket (Who later became my wife) thought I was cute. I defended myself best I could and lost, just as she was about to collar me.. Pieter stepped in.

One day while I was a new Shadow, I learned a dark and terrible secret. The Righeous had come to the Pit to take back one of their own, Pieter was mad with rage and I got in the way of him. From his punch my jawbone shattered, he spat at me insulted me and I fled wounded. It was easier to stay as a wolf to bandage up the muzzle, and thus keep the jaw in place so it would heal. I could have healed naturally in a few days, Dio sped up the process and I was all better. The next time I saw Pieter he terrified me, I ran from him to hide in my old living place. When he found me Pieter explained why he did it, told me some of his past so I can understand. I think on that day a small and fragile bond had formed, that grew stronger each and every day.

It was Pieter in his fury that took down The Reckoning in his way, for it was them who held me captive at the Port Authority. Them and the priest were struck down thus Pieter saved me again, it was Pieter who cleaned up the mess I inadvertly made. A deal with Dimentox that went wrong, he cursed the entire demon race for my own folly in trusting his word. Yes that's right I got all demons cursed, but Pieter broke it and got no thanks for it. (Thank you Pieter!)

In some ways I got closer to Pieter over the months, in other ways I am still distant from him he's still mysterious. Dark, handsome, sexy, wanted by many a femalem, the playboy flirt with lonliness hidden in his depths. We teased one another we flirted, I allowed him to feed off me when the bloodbath was gone. (He still feeds off me now, and fed off me before that.) None of it ever went further than that, though the rumours in the city said otherwise. I wanted so much to make them true, but in the meantime I occupied myself other lovers. There was a recent short period where he found himself a mate, I was happy enough to take a back seat in his affections. They didn't last, the reasons unknown.

Its December with the constant snow fall on the city, blanketing the dirty streets in clean, crisp, white. To be precise it was two days after Christmas, the day after I said goodbye to Hitaroki. K-Tox radio station Jason was doin his dj shift, I was sitting in Pieter's lap getting a rise out of him. Familar really I had done the same to him before on the throne, only this time it was different. We didn't stop ourselves we kept going, oblivious to the fact Jason was there we undressed. Unlike demons a vampire is cold to the touch, they warm up easily enough under certain conditions. We bit eacther, scratched eachother fueling his want to be inside me, just as he fueled my desire for him to be deep inside my sheath. Lust crazed, driven wild with passion, after months of craving finally we took the heated chance. And we devoured it to our own fullfillment....

Is it wrong to lust after my vampire Lord even now?
Or is it more than a simple urge?
Time will tell.

Lulz of the day:

[20:27] Bethany Matahari: omg Ares
[20:28] Bethany Matahari: you have lust for Pieter
[20:28] Bethany Matahari: and you don't know his name????
[20:28] Bethany Matahari: Pieter
[20:28] Bethany Matahari: Seelowe
[20:28] Bethany Matahari: tattoo that on your inner thigh please

It's all an illusion

2008-12-26T17:46:00.000-08:00

Over the last few days I have been in the foulest of moods, my twin brother has been murdered along with one of my Shadows. I had walked up the ramp to the Pit roof, my mind jumbled from the murders. A few of the Shadows stood around nodding as I passed, I still marvel at how I had attained my rank and their respect.

Vishous approached me becoming extremely affectionate, I embraced her as I would any of my siblings. She admitted she needed the comfort and I hugged her tighter, to be honest Vishous caught me off guard. There are some in the House I have had little contact with, yet they respect me and hang on my every word. The woman wrapped in my arms warm, soft was one I had little interaction, right now she was driving me nuts with her nibbling teeth on my neck. Vishous said it was her human nature, she withdrew from me I watched her.

Taking her hand I led her from the Pit to the sea wall, I sort of found the sea to be relaxing it helps calm me. We sat on the fence began talking, I told her she can come to me when she wants to let down her guard. It must be hard for Vishous to be the only human in our House after Tanika left, but at least she was not the only mortal being. When I had moments of weaknesses and self doubt, Skyler would soundly smack me across the head. I however had other methods.

Before I continued the talk; Hitaroki stalked in to view, I was happy to see him I really was. Yet he declared change to be nothing more than a repetative cycle, my feelings of missing him jaded perception. Nothing really changes, everything stays mundane and therefore just an illusion.

Life is the biggest of illusion of all.

I called him a jerk and Vishous ran off to leave us alone, he had come to say goodbye since he was leaving for good. He gave me the tome as I asked for it he didn't need it anymore, we hugged and Hitaroki said he will watch me til I transcend like he did.

Friend, brother, lover. My compromise, my partner in crime as I was yours.

Goodbye Hitaroki...

P.S. The tome in my possession is a sought after treasure, it was in Toxia wanted by Dimentox's Black Hand group. It was around before the tower fell. This tome was used to bring back Spirit of the KA, and used to seal my grandfather in a gem. Now I have it and oh what terrors I could unleash.

Lulz of the day:

[20:27] Bridgette Plunkett: there is a nine year old boy who has written a book called "how to talk to girls."
[20:27] Ethan Seelowe: rule 1: always bring candy
[20:27] Ethan Seelowe: rule 2: always wear your team's jersey, while making clear you are the BEST player on it
[20:28] Ethan Seelowe: rule 3: tell her how cool her sticker collection is
[20:28] Ethan Seelowe: rule 4: if above fails, pull her hair and throw rocks at her
[20:29] Bridgette Plunkett: No wonder I fell so fast. *grins*